I need a male perspective

[whatthis]

There's a guy who asked me out. Our first date went extremely well and I was really excited about this guy. My car had broken down that day, so he offered to give me a ride to school the next day. He also looked up different shops where I can get my car fixed. Later he texted me and asked me if I would like to hang out again soon (he's going on a business trip for 2 weeks and he wanted to see me before he left). I said I'd love to see him again and we decided on dinner the following day.

On the day of the date he texted me and we exchanged a couple of texts. An hour before he was supposed to pick me up, he texted me and told me that he had to work late that night cos his boss bailed out and he won't be able to make it. He didn't apologize. He just sent a few consecutive texts telling me it was really upsetting and sent me a sad smiley (???). I responded back and told him that things happen. Oh well.

I'm just really ticked off that he didn't take the effort to call me when he canceled - that just seemed really disrespectful to me. All it would've taken was a minute (even if he was with his clients) or he could've called me later. And an apology would've been nice as well. I haven't heard from him since. He's leaving town tonight. Normally I wouldn't have taken it all that seriously, but I've just been walked over way too many times.

What do you guys think? Would you cancel a date last minute via text with no apology - especially considering the fact that it's only the second date and we barely know each other?

Thanks!

[ktm390]

What do you guys think? Would you cancel a date last minute via text with no apology - especially considering the fact that it's only the second date and we barely know each other?

Thanks!

if it was more serious i wouldnt do that but if it was only the second date i might. i guess it all depends on how busy i was at work and if i couldnt call. maybe he will say he is sorry next time you two talk. you gonna call him tonight before he leaves?

[curly1118]

I wouldn't cancel last minute. No way. But if I had to I would definitely apologize and make it up somehow. Depending on his position within his company, though, it could be expected that he has to work late every once in a while and fill in for his boss. But at the same time it sounds really weird that it just happened to happen an hour before your guy's date. Another thing I wanna say is that if he was with clients it would make sense that he wouldn't call. I used to install kitchens and yeah I might be able to send a text if my clients were looking around or something like that, but I wouldn't make a phonecall. That's just unprofessional and disrespectful. Especially if they heard him talking to a love interest and their date. And if he called you later on, then it would have been too late.

What are the time frames? If it's been a couple days since he last contacted you then he has probably lost interest or is just really busy. Maybe he hasn't contacted you because he thinks you may be mad, have you contacted him at all? Shoot him a text, ask him what's up.

[whatthis]

Well I was going to see if he would contact me.... I really don't want to be the one pursuing this thing. I mean if he really was interested, he'd contact me, right? But like I said, there's been no word from him whatsoever after he canceled. If I canceled on someone I really liked, I'd definitely go out of my way to show them I'm sorry and would tell them I'd still love to see them again. You know what I mean?

[whatthis]

We were supposed to go out last night. So it's been a day since we had any contact.

[ktm390]

yeah he might be avoiding you because he thinks you might be mad at him for canceling. you should call him or text him.

[curly1118]

I do know what you mean. And I don't know how busy he is or how long he's had to be on the plane or if he's having a conference with some of the people he's working with etc. He might be just that busy. But I don't know what he does for a living so I can't say for sure. I do agree that he could shoot you a text. Personally, I would. People have change in heart though. He is going to be gone for two weeks. Maybe he didn't want to have some kind of connection and then not be able to see you for that length of time. I really don't know.

Maybe wait a little bit and shoot him a text that says "have a safe flight" or something like that. See what you get back.

[stussu]

i never canceled a meeting and never will its disrespectful, but maybe it was true that he couldnt make it. give him time he may get back to you ! good luck!

[whatthis]

Ok so I'm new to this forum so I don't know if posting on here would make this thread "come alive" again. But here's an update. The dude texted me the next day after he canceled and told me he'd love to see me again SOON AFTER he gets back and we exchanged a few texts. He also said he'd make it up to me when I told him I was ticked off he canceled through text. He said he wanted to call but was stuck with clients (somehow I don't buy it). He seemed pretty excited to see me again. The next night I texted him a "how's it going" and he said he was JUST about to text me. Yet again we exchanged a few texts and said goodnight.

Tonight is night #2 since last contact. He's still out of town on business and won't be back till next week. No word from him whatsoever.

I really don't want to text him and show more interest because I think the ball is in his court - he canceled - so it's his turn to keep contacting me and show interest till the next time we meet (right?). I really want to text him and tell him that I had a suberbly awesome time on the first date and can't wait for him to get back. But something in me just doesn't want a guy who's not as interested in me as I'm interested in him (cos he canceled on me!!!!!!). I've been there where the guy just fell out of love (I think lust) for me. It's not a happy place. So this time I wanna make sure he actually likes me.

So here are my questions:
1) If you were a guy who had this awesome time with this chick on the first date, and then YOU fixed a second date before you left town for 2 weeks (which you canceled an hour before the date VIA TEXT), would you text (be in contact with) her everyday you're gone? I don't get this dude. Whyyyy is he not in touch?
2) Does that mean he's not ALL THAT interested? Or is he waiting for ME to text him (I've been told I'm kinda intimidating and hard to approach). Is there something wrong with me???? I wanna be normalllll (ok that's Jim Beam talking LOL. I'm such a dork.).

I'm kinda traditional and I like that guy to make the move. I know every guy thinks different, but what are your thoughts?