Met a guy for 36 hours. After 9 days, I went on a holiday with him to another county.

[skinnychowder]

(This going to be a detailed breakdown of what happened so you can fully analyze my situation.)

I met this guy through Tinder one Sunday evening. He was visiting South Korea where I live (FYI I'm a Eurasian expat working here while he's Norwegian-American) from China where he's interning for 3 months. Our initial meeting was nothing special. There's this gorgeous blonde, 6'5 guy who dresses well, sounds American (which appealed to me right away since I put a huge stress on English proficiency) but not really my type. I didn't read too much into our first meeting although I felt oddly comfortable around him like we've know each other for years. Not to solidify Tinder's running stigma but he did end up going home with me. I took a leave off work so I can spend my whole Monday with him. He also canceled his tour trip so he could with me. We just stayed in my room the whole day and night, mostly just talked (also had sex once). I haven't met anyone before whom I could talk to continuously without having awkward moments in between. It was amazing. He had to leave for Japan the next day and we continued speaking. He wanted me to fly to Japan and offered to spot half my ticket there but I couldn't coz of work. That's when we decided to meet in another country after a week. He flew back to Norway from Japan to be with his family (even cut his trip short home to a few days so he can accommodate Thailand in his schedule). He told his parents about me too that he's gonna be off traveling to another country with a girl he just meet for a couple of hours. After 9 days since our initial meeting, we both flew to Thailand and had the most amazing 6 days there. It was easily the best trip of my life and I am a well-traveled person. Yes, we ed like bunnies while we were there. Every opportunity available, we would have sex. We also spent quality time together, touring the island we stayed at and talked al ot. He wasn't much of a sweet talker but he would always ask if I was happy because that's what matters to him.

He had to leave earlier than me. I was unexpectedly devastated. As a matter of fact, I tried not to cry but I did. Weird thing is not once did we talk about what's after Thailand. The closest we got was saying how much we enjoyed the trip and each other's company nothing more. I decided to rebook my ticket to go home the same night coz I was so out of it. Now it's been a week since the trip. He's in Denmark right now for his new job's orientation. Next week he's going back to Norway to start his job there. He's extremely busy and barely goes online. We talk but not the same way we did beore. Only when it's necessary. Also time difference doesn't help.

I know it's too early to ask and I know Norwegian men are just not expressive in general plus the concept of dating is alien to them. I've never been pro-LDR but this guy got me reconsidering the idea. I am just getting over a guy I was seeing a couple months back and here I am again with another problem. I didn't want to get into anything serious since I'll be leaving the country but I can't stop thinking about him and the possibility of getting together even if it's long distance.

I guess my question is, since we don't talk as much anymore, he doesn't initiate convos regularly like he did in the past, do you think he's not interested in me? Was our trip to Thailand a holiday romance I should just move on from? I really like him and I want to tell him I do but I am afraid of the consequences of my words.

Help. I haven't been functioning properly the past week since I've been back from Thailand.



PS. I am moving to Spain from South Korea around October and also just recently decided to visit my auntie in Norway.

[JakeCollins]

Hey there,

To be honest from what you've told me it does sound like just a holiday romance and something you should just move forward from. The reason I think this is because he didn't attempt to make plans to see you again and doesn't seem to have mentioned the possibility. Obviously, it's possible that he's busy with his new job and the fact that he travels a lot probably means he doesn't have much time.

Has it only been a week since you got back from Thailand? Maybe it's worth giving it a bit more time to see how things develop. Like I said, it seems like you both had a great time and now he's back to reality and needs some time to sort things out before making any new plans with you.

How often do you talk now? And when you do talk how does the conversation go? Is it the same as it was before or the basic day to day how are you type of conversations?

My advice would be to give it a bit longer and then eventually just ask him if he wants to see you again. What's the worse that can happen? If he doesn't then it's clear it was a holiday romance and you can move on. It might hurt to find out he doesn't feel the same, but it's better then you being stuck in limbo and not knowing.

Regarding the LDR, that's down to you, I personally have never liked the idea of an LDR but if you think he's worth it then you could do it. The only downside is that you haven't known each other that long so it's hard to tell whether or not it's worth investmenting both financially and emotionally into an LDR.

Best of luck with your situation,

Jake Collins.

[richiro]

In truth it could be either.
I can cmpletely understand if he's very busy what with starting a new job, career, and moving countires and traveling between countries - that's quite a lot and probaly not enough time to have side things much. His focus is on his new career. THAT I GET.
the LD thing has a ton of obstacles and b/c you won't be able to see each other much - that makes it hard to begin with to have a full-on relationship.

So.. my question to you is.. when he DOES respond.. what are his responses like? Is he apologetic that he's been unavailable and explains why? Or is it just .. distant with no explanation and not responsive at all to anything you say.. ?

The former means he's just busy and you have to wait it out and then talk about it later.
The latter means.. it was a holiday whirlwind to him.

Good luck and hoping for the best. But you are again being reminded why LDR's are nearly impossible. (OH LASTLY.. since you had a recent breakup, you are in rebound and so he might have been your rebound relatinoship (reaching to fill the void left behind) and so you may be over-valuing and over-reacting your interaction with im as being more than it really is - which judging by his actions.. is a good chance). ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be wary of "rebound" and NEVER ever make major decisions while in rebound or when yo're emotional (aka.. still moruning or reeling from a recent break-up). Its the classic mistake we all make probably multiuple times in our life.

good luck and i hope news is better over time... because time is really what reveals all truths so just stay in touch.. be patient, and let time reveal all truths to you..... hang in there!