Girlfriends asks me for sth valuable (money) before I go abroad

[hbee]

I need advise on the following situation

am in relationship with gf since 1,3 years, will now go to work for a 6 month assignment abroad (my original homecountry)

my girlfriends wants me to leave her sth valuable behind as that would give her a secure feeling (as I left her once). as i dont possess anything valuable, she thinks about my savings money.

i think it is ridiculous, as i trust her to return me the money even if we break up. but i feel such deals that involve money are not appropriate.

she blames me not willing to give her money to not trust her or having doubts about our relationship.

who is right? what to do?

[NLL]

I think you should not give her money. This is something dangerous even if you trust her very much. You never know what can happen..
You may not come back soon or she may find someone else and then you will feel really stupid. I suggest to give her something else that is also important for you. But not money.
Good luck.

[girl68]

NO! Don't give her anything.

[doppelgaenger]

This is beyond ridiculous. I would never give any woman access to my personal savings, ever, and ESPECIALLY if she had insecurities and trust issues. I have a hard enough time loaning money to people whom I don't have trust issues with!

She is obviously looking for any possible way to manipulate you while you are away. Don't give into this - a woman who tries to do this is very weak and will eventually cave in to your persistence. Meanwhile, you should consider whether you want to be with such a pathetic person.

[Boisdevie]

If she trusts you and you trust her then all this needing something is totally stupid. Refuse her.

[RockNRoll]

Don't do it. Sounds like a deposit or bail!
No offence, but what sort of relationship is that?! Tell her that you are together because you like it that way (am I right?), not because she is has some power to keep you on a short lead. Why would she even want to MAKE you to be with her?! You might want to look into underlying problems, that caused this ridiculous question.

[hbee]

I see it as well like this.
Any more comments?
How can I convince her that this is ridiculous? She just says, I dont trust her.

[girl68]

Ask her if she trusts you.
I already know the answer: she doesn't if she did it would be a "bye, darling, see you when you get back!"

[VincenzoG91]

Just leave some cash on the nightstand after each time you have sex with her.

[girl68]

The OP sounds like he'd take that advice seriously... please don't he was clearly joking.

[Kaius]

This is a relationship not a loan. You don't need to put down collateral or a deposit.
I can understand an item of value for sentimental purposes, but not to ensure you'll come back.
That's unreasonable. Besides, you have every right to leave if you want to. You are not bound.

[Cyberpunk85]

Um... no. Absolutely not. What's she going to do if you refuse? She obviously won't leave you, because she's insecure. Just don't leave any money behind. Leave her a ring or something.

[girl68]

Don't leave ANYTHING!

[Saya]

Your gf should ask her friends/family if she is doing the right thing... coz it's obvious that a lot of people will be against this since it's just not normal.
So don't leave anything.

[Charisma]

Don't leave her anything.

She's your gf. She's not a wife, she's not even a fiancee. She isn't a dependant. And so what if you do decide to leave her, what the hell is money gonna make a difference with if yous both leave?!?!?!

She's just playing on your guilty of your last betrayal, and since you went back to her she thinks she has this upper hand to play. In fact, if I had cheated on someone I wouldn't get back with them, because the whole dynamic has changed.

The whole thing about money is just bs. Oh, and by the way ask her what she's gonna give you as security about the relationship. I bet she hasn't thought twice about that.