Using Someone as Motivation

[JJP]

Hi everyone . I kinda had this discussion with my parents the other day and they seemed horrified by the way I look at things and what motivates me. I wanted to see if any other people are motivated in a similar way or if it is just me.

Personally, I have never felt the need to prove myself to myself like so many others seem to. I have a more then satisfactory knowledge of what I can and can't achieve when I apply myself, so this has always seemed a bit of a pointless concept. In general, I don't care too much what people think. Until it comes to a girl I like...

There has been a few times in my life when the presence of a girl has really motivated me to better myself (Get good grades etc). At the moment there is a girl I would love to be with, but cant. It's possible that it might one day happen and that prospect motivates me to get a good degree grade, a prestigious job and go to the gym religiously. It's not that I don't feel good enough already, I just want to be as good as I possibly can.

I get why my my parents don't like how dependent I am for motivation from other people, and I can't say I think it's a great thing either. I would love to be able to motivate myself, but for me, this is just the way it is. And if it wasn't for girls, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Anyone else like this?

[Kiechi]

You're fine. Believe me, half the people I've come across sit at home day waiting for the thing such as motivation to come over and sit in their lap. Just waiting for something good to happen, completely unmotivated to find motivation. Be happy you got it.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, lasting change is supposed to come from intrinsic motivators. But I know plenty of people who were motivated to change for their kids. Esp health-related things (like quitting weed/smoking).

Personally, motivators never did much for me re: change. I subscribe to the 'do it now, motivation will come later once its working' philosophy. But I've always liked chewing nails.

[JJP]

I am happy about it. I get a lot more done then I would otherwise!

Hopefully someday a girl will become intrinsic lol.

[steviej]

I find things which provide a strong emotional response are motivators for me, but not much else.

[MaidenMinx]

I used to be like that and found it got me no where. Now I use what I want to be as my motivator. There has been such a gap between what I am and what I want to be for such a long time that I have plenty of wasted years as my motivator.
The only problem I can see with your approach is if you are completely dependant on outside influence to be motivated. I was like that and it got me no where.

[JJP]

Yea, I realise that could be an issue. But I don't feel like I choose what is motivating. Personally, I would be completely happy not achieving many things I am now motivated to achieve if it wasn't for her.