Not fair to her....

[bestican]

I am in need of some advice. Here is my story and I will try to keep it short.

I am 24 years old and was in a relationship with my former girlfriend for 9 years. It was a very rocky relationship from the start. We fought all of the time, hurt each other time after time and ended on very bad terms... leaving me heart broken. This was early last year. Well, now I have met a new girl. I love this woman more than anything and feel she may be the one. We have been seeing eachother for around 4 months. The thing is, I have yet to tear down my wall and totally let her in. She knows this and is deeply hurt by it. She says that I constantly compare her to my ex and that she will not hurt me and that she is as serious about me as I am her. I want her to move in with me so we can begin living our lives together and eventually get married. She told me that there is nothing more that she wants than to live with me but she will not until I can completely trust her and take my wall down and stop comparing her to my ex. My question is, how do I do this? How do change my way of thinking and break the cycle of what i thought for the past 9 years? She has given me absolutely no reason not to trust her. She is pretty damn perfect in my eyes but I continue to unintentionally compare her. I am just afraid of being hurt and left like my ex did to me. Please help! I need this woman in my life....

[QueenofCorona]

You can change your way of thinking or potentially lose her/push her away. I think you would constantly do the same in every relationship though. Its good to have some guard up as you've only been together a short time and you have every right to have scars from your last relationship but don't punish every woman for what ONE did to you.

Trust is earned and you said yourself you have no reason to not trust her. Focus on what good you have rather than worrying about the crappy "what if's".

[girl68]

You need to just start thinking before you do anything.

Before you say "my ex used to". I think you're not changing because you don't want to.

[Primo]

She's not your ex, what else do you need to know? If you can't accept her and let her in for who she is, then you're not ready to move into something serious and this is going to rebound.