I Don't Understand

[beautiface]

First let me start out by saying I am a beautiful 26yr old female. I am about
5'5 and I weight about 128 lbs. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years and today he told me that he is not sexually attracted to me. He said that he loves me a lot but the attraction is not there.
But he said that it use to be. We literally use to have sex like rabbits. We are also living in different states, but I plan on moving to where he is in May when I graduate. He said that he loves me sooooo much and really wasnt trying to break up but I had to cuz I can't be with anyone who is not sexually attracted to me....

The crazy thing about this is that he wants to continue calling me like nothing happened. I don't want to, cuz I don't think I can be his friend without being more.... He said that he thinks that this is a phase and he think it won't last to long..

oh yea the only thing that I changed about me since we been together is my weight I actually was about 20lbs bigger when we first got together... He use to tell me all the time that if I gain at least ten back I would be perfect... But I am content with the way that I am.

[SirWagginston]

This reminds me of an episode of Family Guy. Props if you can name it.

[MetalPhoenix]

Never change who you are, if you're happy with yourself. That way you just betray yourself.
If you DO change because you want your boyfriend to be happy, make very sure that you are okay with it, because if you're not, you're going to be misarable

[tropigal82]

Ok, I think your bloke is being pretty superficial if he says he's not attracted to you because you lost weight.

If I love a man, I love him for who he is, and I will still love him if he loses or gains weight. Sexual attraction is physical, yes, but its also pychological, spiritual and emotional.

It sounds like he is just trying to make excuses. Yes, sometimes you gradually lose sexual feelings towards a partner, but in my opinion that is more down to other aspects of the relationship being out of balance.

A relationship is more than just physical attraction, its about intellectual, spiritual and emotional connection.

You should ask him if he feels your connection is strong on all these levels, if not then that is why he is losing interest in the sexual relationship.

[QueenofCorona]

Sounds like a bs cop out he's using to put all this on you. You already KNOW you aren't ugly, he is for trying to pull that. I wouldn't even want to be frinds with a puke like him.

[Anonyms]

Its easy to talk when u havent experienced this type of things. Its like a Deja Vu. Ive been for 3 months with a girl and we both werent attracted of each other. I dont want to be pesimestic, but it didnt work out Today were just friends. But this is just a case in a million so keep fighting for ur love!!!

[Lite]

Ok, I think your bloke is being pretty superficial if he says he's not attracted to you because you lost weight

Funny, I imagine you'd say the same thing if he said he wasn't attracted to her because she gained weight too. What's your point?

I once dated a woman that I thought was absolutely stunning at the weight I met her at. Then she lost 20 lbs, and looked utterly amazing, and then she lost 20 lbs more and became too skinny for me. She was still attractive, but definitely not as attractive as she had been at the other two weights. (To me anyway...) Some people just like curvy women, nothing wrong with that at all. And for all we know she has nasty dugout funk and he's not telling her. It really could be any number of thinks, but the weight bit actually just sounds like an excuse for something. Like maybe he cheated and feels guilty or he just doesn't want to be in a committed relationship because feeling tied down is making him panic. I knew one girl who did this kind of weight change and went from "WOW!" to "She has linebacker shoulders and no ass..." in 20 lbs. Thankfully I wasn't dating her so it didn't really affect me.

Look, if you're hurt by him trying to just be friends. Don't just be friends. Stop talking to him and find someone who loves you at your new weight.