Shes Moving................What Should I do?

[jtom]

I have been hanging out and fooling around with this girl but we are not dating. We had fooled around alot and were getting along great. She really is my dream girl, she meets or exceeds all of my requirements and is pretty much perfect in my eyes. After a while though she started to ignore me a little and I got less attention over time. However, the fall semester started so I assumed is was due to her much heavier schedule and that alot of her friends came into town from leaving for the summer. The last few weeks I have been trying to talk to her about starting a relationship in the future. We both graduate in december and she had talked about a possiblity of moving but it was never anything specific, she had told me that she was probably staying in this area to pursue a graduate degree.

Anyways so today she told me that she was definely moving shortly after graduating. I was shocked because she had always given off the impression that she was not probably going to do that. The very unusual thing is that she is moving to a city that is at the other end of the country, where she has never been before and knows no one there. We basically go to school together in the southeast, I am from the northeast, and she wants to go to a city in the northwest. What really surprises me is that she is going without getting a job and has no intention of going to graduate school. Im sure she could find a job somewhere but I just was a little taken back that someone would move a place that far away without a job and no support just because she likes the looks of the city. Also, she basically doesnt have a relationship with her parents and they give her no support and would not even if she needed it so its all her in terms of supporting herself. Anyways so I realized that she probably started ignoring me a little because she determined that she was moving out of the area and didnt see the point in getting involved in a relationship. I can appreciate that, but she didnt let me in on her intentions until today so I thought she was just ignoring me. She also told me that she might be going with other people but I dont really see how many people could go with her to a new area like that. I think she just said that because she told me she was just looking at one bedrooms and shes not seeing anyone right now so I think she will be going alone.

I met this girl in may and for a very long time before that I had also been thinking about what I am doing after graduation. I had decided I would never stay in this area and also had severe doubts about going back to the northeast because I had lived there most of my life and didnt see any point in moving back there. I had actually talked to my parents many times about this long before I met this girl. Anyways, so I have contemplated talking to her about possibly going with her or a nearby city, I am definetly going to graduate school and can go wherever I want. The trouble is, I had told her that I couldnt do another move to a new part of the country but as I said that she ran into her ride and I didnt get to explain that I couldnt do a move like that without getting accpeted to a school or getting a job.

So this brings up a whole new set of issues. We are friends and we get along well but we havent done that much recently and I am afraid of mentioning that I could look into moving with her, not in the same apartment but move to the same city or someplace nearby. Im afraid she will look at me like I am the weirdest guy she has ever met and just be totally weirded out by that. However, now that I think of it, I probably have nothing to loose because if I she gives me a bad response both of us will be moving away regardless so I wont see her again anyways.

I really do like this girl and I know she also liked me at one time, im not sure at this point if she still does and she stopped showing interest because she knew she was moving or because she stopped liking me. I also want to make it clear that I had been thinking about moving to a new area for about a year now and her saying shes moving and me contemplating going with her is not a new thing for me. Meaning I would probably have moved to a new area regardlesss if I met her or not. Now I will admit that I didnt consider going to that particularly city but have always wanted to visit. However, I had ruled out staying her or moving back home. Basically back in the northeast I just feel like I need to start fresh somewhere and not go back to my old area. I basically havent had the best college experience and she hasnt as well and I guess I still feel I need a little excitement that others have gotten from college.

Another issue here is that I have not had many girlfriends and have never really felt connected to any girl before. She basically is everything I want in a girl and I feel if I didnt at least mention it that I would regret it for the rest of my life. The only issue is that I wont see her again until next week so its alot of time for me to be stressing about this.

Any thoughts?

[Justsomeone22]

Let her know how you feel man don't let her go without telling her or your going to regret it forever...you'll think about it constantly

[jtom]

Thats exactly why I want to at least bring it up becuase I will regret not asking her about it. I am just afraid of the response, but I think that since shes moving irregardless, I will not see her again after graduation so its not like it will be awkward long term.

However, I just dont know if shes been ignoring me a little becuase she just thinks of me as a friend or because she doesnt want to start a relatoinship because shes moving.

Do you still think I should even though we are not dating? I guess I just feel weird asking her this because we are friends and I know she did like me as more then a friend a while back but am not sure anymore. I probably should have asked her about this today but I was just surprised by everything that happened that it didnt occur to me to bring it up.

[Justsomeone22]

Put it this way I have a friend...well thats what she is right now. Her husband just passed away about 2 months ago or so...we've connected several times before. Over the last few weeks she's talked about moving to Indiana. She left Monday for Indiana, and I made sure to tell her Friday how I felt about her and I. Moving to Indiana became visiting for a couple of months with frequent visits back and forth in the agreement...I currently live with my girlfriend who I have been with for 6 years in a house that we bought on April 24th of this year...she shows no affection and I desire that more than sex...yes that came from a guy =) Tell her, don't be afraid of what she says. Take what she says and run with it. If she had interest before she has it still. Express your interest in her see what how she responds. Don't jump right to the idea of moving with her though thats adorable as all hell. Just let her know that your into her and over the next couple weeks make sure you get a feel for the situation. Save the moving with idea for a little further down the line even if it is just to a nearby city so you two can stay in contact.

[jtom]

Are you sure that she still is interested? I know 100% that she liked me alot a while ago but I cant tell anymore. I thought it was common for girls/guys to be in to others and then loose interest after a while. What happened was that after we started fooling around, she backed off a little. I think it might have been becuase she knew I was into her and she knew she was moving and didnt want to start a relationship. Unfortunately, I didnt know she was definetly moving and I guess I assumed she lost interest in me.

Should I just ask her about the fact that I like her and want to pursue things? I guess I just think that she will just say she doesnt like me anymore when she still does and just doesnt want to start a relationship because shes moving. I just think she will not admit to anything. I realize that saying I will would move with her would be cute and sweet but I also think it could be diastrous and she would think I am extremely weird. However, she did say that she might be going with others, so it might be a group thing.

I do feel I have to do this though because I have never had even a possiblity like this before, even tough I admit its a long shot.

[Justsomeone22]

Just be straight forward no beating around the bush, you know she was interested...how long ago was this? Tell her you were flattered by it and didn't know how to react and that you'd like to take her out...don't be normal and do the whole dinner and movie deal make it common grounds. Like somewhere your either both comfortable...or both uncomfortable.

[jtom]

I have asked her about dinner and stuff but she had said she was busy. The trouble is with her she doesnt show alot emotion so I cant read her. Well I have been alone with her many times at her place, I was there about 2-3 weeks ago. She knows I like her so maybe she wouldnt let someone hang out with her late at night alone at her place? I dont know really.

I guess she just has been different towards me since the fall semester started, about 2 weeks ago. The unfortunate thing with this is that her behavior can be explained in that she just thinks of me as a friend now or that she is moving and still likes me but doenst want to get involved with someone because she is moving.

[Justsomeone22]

You just have to make sure your not falling in that friend category how long ago did she show you she was interested and how did she do it?

[jtom]

Well its hard for me to talk about specifics because she isnt as perceptive as most girls so she doesnt show feelings like an average girl would. The way she has been acting towards me I am definetly getting a just friends impression and I dont think I will know for sure until I ask her about us.

She called me a few times about three weeks ago and we hung out at her place alone. She showed me the dresses she had just bought. I guess I will just have to ask her about us becuase I realyl cant tell at this point.

[Justsomeone22]

yea see thats borderline friendship zone when she showed you the dresses how did you react to them?

[jtom]

Oh I liked them and I told her I wanted to take her to dinner and she could wear one of them. She said not tonight becuase it was probably 1 am but we never did after that. That was about three weeks ago. I personally thought her showing me her dresses would be a more then friends activity.

Maybe I should just let it go.............

[Justsomeone22]

test it, tell her you haven't seen her in one of the dresses she showed you pick one and all and tell her you wanna take her out and see it.

[jtom]

Yea I will but I think that I should just talk to her about how I like her and want to pursue things with her. I asked her if she wanted to do something sometime and she said that she couldnt this week. So its not a good sign, I think though that if she made a point of saying she couldnt do something "this week" that might mean something. If she still likes me but wont do anything with me because she is moving then asking her to do stuff with her would be pointless. I think it might be time that I just come right out and talk to her about things.

How should I go about this?

Thanks