I fell in love with a girl from the US! Now I don't know what to do!

[Si_]

I don't usually do things like this. It's hard for me to write.

Last week I downloaded the Fling app, just to find random people to chat with. I wasn't looking for dirty messages, just chatting. I had a reply from a girl in the US.

I asked her if she used snapchat and she said yes. We added each other and started talking on Kik. I didn't know what she looked like at this point, but we seemed to share a lot of interests and surprisingly had exactly the same mindset.

I'm now obsessed with her, i stay up really late at night so I can talk to her when shes waking up, she does the same for me too! We message each other all day, even when the other is asleep. Now all I want to do is take care of her. But she is on the other side of the world. She has a son, as do I.

Please could someone help me figure out what to do.

I'm madly in love. I can't stop thinking about her and its breaking my heart knowing I can't be there for her.

Thanks!

x

[basilandthyme]

Quite simple really: You've only known her for a week and have never met her in person. Mate, this is infatuation - not love.

It's also kind of creepy that you want to take care of her: she's not a child and you're not her father. And if she is actually so immature that she needs taking care of, then it shows that she's a poor choice for a partner.

Time to give yourself a reality check.

I'm assuming that you're doing this online stuff because you're lonely? Time to start getting involved locally and meet new people.

[TeeJay19]

Yeah, honestly, the best thing to do is to just get over her and move on. I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but you're only hurting yourself by chasing after a girl that in all likelihood you'll never be able to be with. I'm sure there are tons of women in your area who you can actually date that are just as interesting.

Also, I agree with basilandthyme. This isn't love. It can't be. You've never met. This is simply a crush. She may seem like the most important thing in your life right now, but after you break things off with her and give it a little time you'll realize that this thing was no big deal.

[pcmaster]

Happens when you chat with people far away from you. Well if nothing comes out of this at least you have a friend.

[Si_]

Quite simple really: You've only known her for a week and have never met her in person. Mate, this is infatuation - not love.

It's also kind of creepy that you want to take care of her: she's not a child and you're not her father. And if she is actually so immature that she needs taking care of, then it shows that she's a poor choice for a partner.

Time to give yourself a reality check.

I'm assuming that you're doing this online stuff because you're lonely? Time to start getting involved locally and meet new people.

I know she's not a child man. She's not immature either. I'm not doing this online stuff because i'm lonely. I have plenty of friends and I hook up with enough girls. I don't have a connection like this with any of the girls in my area.

Thank you for your input.

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah, honestly, the best thing to do is to just get over her and move on. I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but you're only hurting yourself by chasing after a girl that in all likelihood you'll never be able to be with. I'm sure there are tons of women in your area who you can actually date that are just as interesting.

Also, I agree with basilandthyme. This isn't love. It can't be. You've never met. This is simply a crush. She may seem like the most important thing in your life right now, but after you break things off with her and give it a little time you'll realize that this thing was no big deal.

I know exactly what you are saying. I would give the same advice too. But this is something I need to pursue. She lives in Los Angeles, I would move there for her. I could make a good living over there as a designer.

I just don't know how to handle this.

[SummerNight]

Dude, you know her for like a week? Now you are thinking about moving there? This escalates WAY too fast. Keep talking to her and stuff but don't hope anything much out of it. If after some time you really want to meet her then you can take a trip over there but don't get ahead of yourself by thinking about moving etc.

[basilandthyme]

I know she's not a child man. She's not immature either. I'm not doing this online stuff because i'm lonely. I have plenty of friends and I hook up with enough girls. I don't have a connection like this with any of the girls in my area.

Thank you for your input.

So if you know she's not a child and she's not immature, why do you feel the desire/need to take care of her? For that matter, if she's as you say she is, why do you even think she'd want this of you? I would imagine that any mature woman would want an equal over a carer.

Think about this properly. What you're wanting to do does not equate with who she is.

[Si_]

So if you know she's not a child and she's not immature, why do you feel the desire/need to take care of her? For that matter, if she's as you say she is, why do you even think she'd want this of you? I would imagine that any mature woman would want an equal over a carer.

Think about this properly. What you're wanting to do does not equate with who she is.

I don't mean "take care" of her in the sense of a carer. I want to make sure she is happy. She says that she wants a man to look after her, be strong for her. There is nothing I would like more than to be this man for her.

I am thinking of this properly.

- - - Updated - - -

Dude, you know her for like a week? Now you are thinking about moving there? This escalates WAY too fast. Keep talking to her and stuff but don't hope anything much out of it. If after some time you really want to meet her then you can take a trip over there but don't get ahead of yourself by thinking about moving etc.

I'm not planning on moving over there for her, but I would. I just want to point out that it has only been about a week, i know its escalating fast. I would take a trip to meet her. That will be the first step.

[SummerNight]

I'd suggest you to talk to her for a little more, for at least a month and you can even discuss the idea of meeting her at some point. See what she thinks of it.

[Si_]

I'd suggest you to talk to her for a little more, for at least a month and you can even discuss the idea of meeting her at some point. See what she thinks of it.

We have spoke about this. I don't want to rush over there and ruin it. I already feel like I know her pretty well. But, I want to know everything about her. She wants to meet me, she says she would love nothing more than to spend time with me.

This would be so much easier if she wasn't a long fight away.

:|

[SummerNight]

Well.. I'd still suggest you to talk to her at least a month. I have one horror story to talk about. My friend met a girl online and they hit it off really well. This girl was supposed to live in a city 200 km away. They talked for 2 YEARS!!! And they never met because the girl had always some excuse. They talked on the phone for 4 hours a day. My friend truly loved her. She told him she had cancer and was getting treatment and described the stuff she was going through. She was telling my friend she did not have much time left.

So the situation is this: my friend is in love with a girl who says she has cancer and is dying.

The end result: the girl made it all up and she was not even the person she was pretending to be + she didn't give a **** when confronted she had no remorse over what she had done and was annoyed that my friend was accusing her in anything.

This was an extreme example but.. there are all kinds of people out there.

[basilandthyme]

She told you that she wants a man to look after her and be strong for her? She actually said that?

My alarm bells are going off right now. Lines like this are a wonderful way to identify men who have the White Knight thing going on: they are more likely to be suckers.

Have you verified that she is who she says she is? If she does appear to be who she says she is, what does she have to say about her ex-h? I don't suppose he left her neglected did he? What does she say about the other men in her history?

[pcmaster]

5 Great Things That Can Come from Long-Distance Relationships

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[TablesandChairs]

You are a grown man so here are the facts:

You've known her for a week. Your relationship has been long-distance. There is so much you don't know. Do you know why people get infatuated with each other during the very early stages of a relationship? Because at that point, the person is an ideal. They have their best foot forward. You don't know about their issues, their bad habits, their flaws. Real life hasn't kicked in - it's all about nice chats, connections and pleasantries.

The only way forward is for you two to meet; one of you will have to relocate if the relationship is to go forward but for it to even get to that stage - you need to really get to know each other (properly). The risk, of course, is that you move to the US and end up single within weeks or months. But that's the risk...whether or not it's worth taking is up to you.

A concern is that she wants someone to look after her, be a 'man' and all that jazz...but why does she need all this looking after? What's her history? Is she a single mother floating around looking for Mr. Wallet? Has she given you the spiel about how hard done by she is? How men have treated her poorly? How fate has been cruel? Try removing the emotional attachment for a second and think...is this a capable, independent woman looking for a partner or is this a bit of a screw up?

Might seem a bit callous to look at things this way...but if you're even contemplating travelling to meet her, at least consider that reality might be very different to what you're seeing on snapchat. But then again, maybe there's potential...you'll have to go and see for yourself.

[jenniferaniston]

I think firstly you should clear your feelings as it is not love, you just like talking to her that's it..and she is far away from you so it is not possible to maintain long distance relationship ..Take time and think about it.