I really need some help/guidence here...IDK what to do.. :\

[juniorskates99]

Ok let me give you a rundown of the situation real fast. In highschool this girl used to like me. I got to know her and thought she was really cute and cool but i just was not ready for a relationship at that time due to some relationship problems i have had a little before that time.

But now pretty much a year later i have developed STRONG feelings for her. We have always been good friends and talk pretty much everyday and hang out at least once a week. I finally told her about my feelings maybe about 2 weeks ago. I guess you could say her reactions where mixed. I asked if there was a chance we could become more than friends and she said "maybe". Then further into the discussion she explained the reason why she does not know.

I must say i was a little suprised...She told me lately she has had an attraction to this girl. But she said THATS IT. Its only an attraction and nothing more. Now i know an attraction can mean alot some times but i asked her why its playing such a big role if its only an attraction and i got this

"IDK. i love you sooooooo much and it makes this really hard. Your a PERFECT person chuck and i love you. I just guess i over anaylze things. I just dont understand myself. And my mind just keeps on telling me IDK...."

Then i asked well what do you think i should do? Move on or what? Here is how she responded.

"I dont want you to move on from those feelings but at the same time the last thing i would EVER want to do is hurt you and make you wait if nothing will happen...I just dont know right now..."

Now let me give you a run down on how much this girl means to me. There really are no words to describe it....But all i can tell you is that one of the reasons i HONESTLY BELIEVE i was put on this earth is to make her happy no matter what. Everytime i see her or talk to her i cannot help but smile. I have never felt this way about ANYONE EVER before. Im still young at age 18 but im also super picky when it comes to girls and relationships and honestly EVERYTHING seems RIGHT about this.

So what do i do???? We are hanging out in a few days and where going to have a talk about "our complicated relationship" as we call it. Do i tell her about how i feel and what i mentioned above about making her happy? Do i simply move on and forget these feelings???? Or do i hang on. Everything inside me tells me to hang on but at the same time if my chances dont look good i dont want to be crushed by this...

All i know is not a day has gone by for about a month that i regret not going out with her in HS and what not....

So ladies and gentlemen what do i do here???? Move on or hang on???? I already promised her no matter what the outcome i will always love her and i will always be her friend and be there for her (i have helped her through some deperession she has had recently) i dont intend on breaking that promise!!!! I just really need some help here.

I appreciate you guys taking the time to read this and help me out more than you will ever know. Thank you!!

-Chuck

[zro]

Although some friendships develop into something more, in my opinion once you enter the friend zone, you will stay there

You are still young, to think that you are soley on this ****ing planet for her enjoyment is wrong, demeaning and lacking self dignity - believe it or not there are many females out there, sure this girl might be what you want but to hinge all your hopes on her is ****ing stupid

From my experience (i am limited in this depratement too... i am only 22) if a female likes you she would do everything in her ****ing capacity to get with you, the "maybe" (which normally is the female way of saying "no") answer in my opinion is a bad sign and the fact that she might be a dyke looks like a bad situation

Stay friends with her only if you can get over her, if you stay friends with her and still like her, this will be a ****ing torturous relationship for you, you are young look elsewhere for a romantic realtionship..move on

[Ath]

I think most real loves develop from friendships. But Zro is probably right about the "maybe" part. Eighteen is young to have a serious relationship but that's just my opinion.

I suggest testing the waters for a while, lay low so to speak. It sounds like she's got her own demons at the moment, and some things you can't help with.

Either way, your future is bright.

[juniorskates99]

to think that you are soley on this ****ing planet for her enjoyment is wrong

Ha well of course i know thats not my main purpose but i feel strongly about making her happy. Perhaps maybe just as friends then...

But i honestly really do appreciate the feedback so far. I def have some thinking to do and will take these things into consideration BIG TIME!

[Tigger_]

DUDE, walk away... im going through this also... it sucks, life is not worth so much trouble... don't put urself through this... it'll only end up hurting you and only you..

i used to tell myself that its all worth it... that just the hope of getting her is all worth it... ITS NEVER WORTH IT...

there are way too many girls in this world and as time goes on, you will forget what you love about this specific one... trust me, it'll happen... just give it time,

id tell you to cut contact too, because the moment you see her (the pretty face, the cute eyes, the lovely ears (im describing my own sorry state here)), you go back to where you were... its hard to cut contact, i know.. you want to be with her and make her feel better, but its not worth it... protect your heart..

[Tigger_]

and theres never any chance of friendship if you have feelings for her... you'll end up on a roller coaster ride of "hope" and "no hope" and that'll crush you each time... you will be totally unstable and give up food/drink/oxygen...

[Ath]

I gave up food and drink.. but I think I'm keeping Oxygen for a while

[SuperSmooth]

I wouldn't give up. Maybe you are meant to be together. But don't let it control your life. Leave yourself open to other girls but if you really believe in what you're chasing, don't completely walk away

[juniorskates99]

I wouldn't give up. Maybe you are meant to be together. But don't let it control your life. Leave yourself open to other girls but if you really believe in what you're chasing, don't completely walk away

Yea thats what im thinking. But i will tell you reading your guys post has helped me out alot. I wish i could somehow thank you guys better than with just these stupid posts on a forum haha.

I mean she was always talking about how its weird that so many of here friends have liked her and im like sorry! And shes told me its ok its not weird with you so IDK.

But it does look like i should let go a bit. I look forward to reading a few more posts on some input!!! Thank you again!

[Tigger_]

yes, dont let her be in your mind 24/7... it'll just get you to a point where you cant think clearly...

with me, i had trouble concentrating at work and even at other areas of my life... i was being really cranky, snapped at almost everyone... and im a very happy-happy guy and i wasnt in those days... i was just ruining my own life for no reason at all (i still am)... the thing to realize is that you sulking in your own room has no effect what-so-ever on her feelings... so why ruin your own life... go enjoy yourself... play some sports, release some anger.... and YOU WILL fall in love again!!! there are times when i dont think of her at all and my mind is free, and for me thats the best feeling in the world...

[juniorskates99]

yes, dont let her be in your mind 24/7... it'll just get you to a point where you cant think clearly...

with me, i had trouble concentrating at work and even at other areas of my life... i was being really cranky, snapped at almost everyone... and im a very happy-happy guy and i wasnt in those days... i was just ruining my own life for no reason at all (i still am)... the thing to realize is that you sulking in your own room has no effect what-so-ever on her feelings... so why ruin your own life... go enjoy yourself... play some sports, release some anger.... and YOU WILL fall in love again!!! there are times when i dont think of her at all and my mind is free, and for me thats the best feeling in the world...

I hear ya. Well today i was out skateboarding all day with my buddies and i dident think about anything to do with her and that. It did feel good. I think just being friends is the best route here though.

Im not worried about it. Im still friends with most of my ex GFs and everything is fine so it should work out ok!


Thanks again!

Anymore input anyone?

[Jesse]

ya man let her go i did that 4 too long 1 time and he just ended up braking me heart