mistake, intentional or am i the biggest dumbass in the planet?

[chelsee]

ok, kinda long story. i have been in a new relationship with guy for about 6 months. he came over to my house and my neighbor was there drunk off her ass. my neighbor just got a divorce and when my boyfriend got there she was making the moves on my boyfriend. i didn't think to much of it at first and she strted saying shit like she could coach my boyfriend and i into having great sex. i kinda freaked out and she was like i will just watch you two and get offf while your doing it. my boyfriend led me into the bedroom and started taking off my clothes. he asked me if it would bother me if she came in the room and i was like why won't it bother you and he said because he felt sorry for her.

we started making out and she came in the room and layed next to him and she started taking off her clothes. i was like screw this shit i jumped up and ran into the bathroom and i opened the bedroom door up and yelled at him and said screw her.

i ran out of the room and got a knife and cut myself in the wrist i don't even remeber doing it but it was really bad i had to get 90 stitches. he called the ambulance after i told him i cut myself and he called me a dumbass. he never went to the hospital or called me to see if i was ok.

i don't know if that nite was a big mistake because he was really wasted but i'm pissed off because he hasn't talked to me since. my friends tell me he's scared and to give it time and he will call me but i don't know what the hell to think. i'm in alot of pain from this shit.

[Ellynn]

Ok, first of all, get far far away from your bf. He's no good. If he was trying to force you into something you didn't want to do(sober or not) then thats messed up! NO ONE should ever do that!

And why the hell are you trying to speak to him again? He is the one who was in the wrong there. I doubt he even feels guilty about what he did.

Is this the first time you cut yourself? Why did you do it? I think you need to seek professional help in order to deal with your pain. I mean I can understand jumping up and running out of there, but cutting yourself intentionally is a whole other issue.

[chelsee]

it's my first time cutting. i don't even remeber doing it. it like i flipped out when i saw them two screwing. pretty bad shit to see your boyfriend doing someone else. i don't know why i hurt myself instead of kicking her and his ass. it's really messed up.

[clynn]

They actually had sex?

he is a loser.

Lose him.

[Ellynn]

They actually had sex?

he is a loser.

Lose him.

Yeah no wonder you were pissed. Definately lose him! Hes not worth it.

[King Zarathu]

OK There is definitely a psychological trait here. You wanted to hurt them, but instead of you hurt yourself with a knife and you said there was some sort of memory blocking of yourself doing it. I don't feel like typing, get a therapist.

[DarkDwarf]

I have to say I admire you for not stabbing him. I agree with Ellynn, you need to get far away from this guy. First of all he was forcing you to have sex and then when you refused he had sex with your neighbor. That's like Murder 1. Then he didn't call you or try to see if you are OK.(thats not the issue because you should NEVER talk to him again.)

He deserves to be in Jail.

[Gigabitch]

I know it doesn't feel like it, but you're very fortunate he's ignoring your plight. It gives you the opportunity to make a clean break. You cut yourself to get your own attention.

IMO:
1. No boyfriends for you until you can get to a place in your own life where that kind of action isn't necessary

and

2. I'm so glad you made it to the ER

[vashti]

Chelsee, this guys been trouble from the beginning, if I am remembeing correctly. Get rid of him already! You will like yourself a lot better when you stop tolerating this kind of bullsh*t.