point of distinction between love and 'spend the rest of our lives together' love

[Richardeg]

I have recently split with my partner of 16 months. My partner says that she loves me and everything in the relationship was love, but that she cant spend the rest of our lives together.

Am i wrong or if 2 people love each other and there is no fighting and btw the sex was always fantastic, that there should be a difference?

I just dont get this cant spend the rest of our lives together. THere hasnt been any cheating or anything, so I keep saying that if 2 people love blah blah blah.

I could understand it if the love was no longer there.

Since the split we have both been upset and confused. Everytime I contacted I was tearing her apart so I stopped.

But I think that she wants the friendship and all the fun etc, but not the relationship. I dont think I can.

Am I crazy? Feel free to tell me as it is.

[John Littlejohn]

There is an enormous difference between love and living together forever. "Love" is an emotion, and a fickle one at that. "Living together forever" is a particular commitment that one chooses to make. Love is not enough to live together forever. Love fades, changes, intensifies, disappears. It is changeable and inconstant. A lifelong relationship built on love alone is doomed. A relationship based on nothing more than "we didn't fight and the sex was great" is doomed.

A lifelong relationship takes more than love. It takes sexual and philosophical compatibility, respect, affection, friendship, confidence, trust, financial and physical support, work and dedication, room to grow, open communication, flexibility, understanding, and more than any of this, the desire to have one.

Friendship also takes many of these things. If you don't feel you can or want to have the kind of relationship she wants, then don't.

[Richardeg]

The confusing thing is and we both admit it that we had all those things. Sexual and philosophical compatibility, respect, affection, friendship, confidence, trust, financial and physical support, work and dedication, room to grow, open communication, flexibility, understanding, and more than any of this, the desire to have one.

The last time we chatted, she said she loves me and wants a relationship but can't. Maybe she is just afraid of the commitment thing. I don't know. But thanks for the comments

[Borealis]

I hope you undersand what it means when a woman tells you that.

It means she's trying to let you down easy. It means she has no spine. It means you should shut the door to her forever. It means she's manipulative and useless.

Drop her like a bad habit. No reasoning with someone like this.