Friends who lie / avoid u....

[justforkix]

I have this really good friend of mine (or so I thought) but of late she has been lying a lot to me.

It all started a few weeks back when she invited me home for dinner. I was supposed to be at their place at 9pm and I gave her a call at around 8:30 and she said she was busy with another call and would call me back. She calls me back and says "Can we do this dinner thing another time? Something urgent has come up!" (she said the urgent thing was something related to work!!)i said ok and it was only later that i learnt that the urgent thing that she had was to go bowling with some other friends.

Again a week back, we make a plan to go and watch "war of the worlds" but she "forgets" about our plan and goes out with someone else and does not even bother telling me that she went. When i ask her about this she gets all riled up that i confronted her about such a small issue.

I called her to go out yesterday and she wouldnt come. Gave a variety of reasons and then today I learn that she went out for dinner with someone else.

I wouldnt care if it was someone i didnt know all that well. But shes one of my best friends and i sort of have a crush on her. I feel jealous when she tells me that shes going out with other guys.

I would really like to tell her how i feel about her but the problem is that i just got out a relationship and she knows all about it coz shes friends with the other girl. Also, this lying and avoiding me is driving me crazy!

[boobaa]

She probably knows that you have a crush on her and she is trying to avoid that, she just wants to be friends with you and nothing more.

I remember when I was a kid, in 5'th grade or so. I knew everybody was lieing eachother. I remember my that-time best friend lieng to me as an exuse to playing with his neigbour, but the neigbour didn't show up, even if she promised...

I just wanted to be like everybody else and one day I just lied, awfully. I regret it still, that day was a sad day for me. The lie was very cruel btw.

[shh!]

Find a new friend. This one sucks.

[justforkix]

Find a new friend. This one sucks.

i guess its not that easy to forget a friend you've known for an year. i have other friends but its just that i consider this friend as my closest friend ever. and she acts like this!

the interesting thing is that she keeps going out with this new guy "friend" of hers. she met him a few weeks back and since then she has been avoiding me. earlier she was a very closed person - she never went out with anybody unless she had known them for a long time (the first time i went out with her for dinner was after i had known her for 2 months!) i guess people change and so should you.

[shh!]

Invest more time in your other friendships, which I assume are more reciprocal in nature. Who needs friends that treat them so badly? One year is not much time in the scheme of life, and it will be that much harder for you to unload her when you have invested 5-10 years.

[misombra]

haven't you learned your lesson? quit making plans with her. she will break them and you will get your feelings hurt.

[fear_21]

thats right, send her to hell and find other chicks

[Goo10Tag]

I've learned that some friends come and go. It's the worst feeling in the world when you discover that your 'friend' thinks of you as more of an obligation than a friend. I'd say find someone who won't play with you like that.

[speeding_devil]

just back up abit probably she knows that you have a crush on her... and that's why lately she tries to ignore you by cancelling dates probably because she doesn't want you to have harder feelings for her and that she wouldn't have to hurt your feelings... or lot of more other reasons too...

[lilwing89]

here, ill finish the sentence for you.
Friends who lie / avoid u....aren't worth your time.

[justforkix]

thanks for the replies everyone.

i spoke to her and she said that "we are not compatible as friends" "you need a break from me" ..i havent spoken to her in the last 10-12 days...i miss her terribly :-(

[XPixiedustX]

thanks for the replies everyone.

i spoke to her and she said that "we are not compatible as friends" "you need a break from me" ..i havent spoken to her in the last 10-12 days...i miss her terribly :-(

Maybe you should try giving her some space. It's posible she realized how you feel about her and that scared her. If she doesn't feel the same way about you she might try to push you away. Wait it out, she might start to miss you....gl

[Abraxxas]

Yep, at this point all you can do is wait it out and see what she does. Some people get all fruity wierd when stuff like that comes up. Its possible that in time she will realize that she is over-reacting to everything and everything will be normal again. It is also possible that it will not, I've had it go both ways.

Another question I have is how did your last relationship end? The one with the girl that she's friends with? I've seen it happen a million times where you break up with your gf/bf and whether you were right or wrong there will be friends that only associate with one or the other. Kind of like sheep, they knew them first and now that you are out of the picture of her friend, she acts the same way. Sad but true, just another thought, if thats how it is I wouldnt take it too personal because you were probably a "friend" by association with her friend... your "girlfriend". If this is the case, she could have hard feelings towards you because she got the one sided viewpoint of your ex or because you "hurt" her friend or whatever it may be. Just something to think about.

Good luck.