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Thread: Am I wrong ?

  1. #1
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    Am I wrong ?

    Ughhh ,, So this is her cousin & I need help on my situation . . I am 15 & Pregnant =O Me & my BOY - friend have been together for a month and we got pregnant . . I'm soo happy that I have a Lor' Everything & BIG Everything , My BOY - friend means soo much to me and the fact that I have his baby adds to it ! I swear I love him more than any Boy - Friend I ever had . . He's just soo sweet to me , Like I swear I love him soo much & I know I cheat on EVERY Boy - friend I had & I don't have the heart to cheat on him . . All he tells me makes me feel sooo good inside like EVERY - time I look at him in his eyes I wan' cry because I feel as though I'm trapping him about this baby but he says he's happy & we're his life now & he ALWAYS chooses me before his friends like it's Just US against Everything & I know neither of us is ready for a baby but we want it . My Mother is telling me that I'm making the biggest mistake of my life , I'm stupid & I messed up my life , My life is over & My aunt is telling me that the only person in the situation that's gon' suffer is my baby & that just makes me want to break down and cry because I know we can do it & My mother isn't trying help ( NOT That I Needed Her To Help ) But for your baby's GRAND - Mother to say that they want nothing to do w/ it ? It hurts & I have people that tell me they support me but I can't have just people putting me down & I KNOW I shouldn't let people influence me but I'm scared & have too many emotions roaming around , I just need some RE - Assurance , I swear I'm sooo scared of having a baby . . But Am I Wrong For Keeping My Baby ?

  2. #2
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    YOu are very stupid. You get pregnant at your age after a relationship of one month. One month is absolutely nothing in a relationship. So who is going to bring up this baby and pay for it? I hope you don't think you can just dump it on your mum. Babies are bloody hard work, even for adults in a good relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boisdevie View Post
    YOu are very stupid. You get pregnant at your age after a relationship of one month. One month is absolutely nothing in a relationship. So who is going to bring up this baby and pay for it? I hope you don't think you can just dump it on your mum. Babies are bloody hard work, even for adults in a good relationship.
    Wait, aren't you the guy who is really outspoken about sex and how everyone should be having it no matter what? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's you.

    So why are you getting on her case and calling her stupid for having sex?

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    If I were you I would keep the baby <3
    whatever happens...

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    Quote Originally Posted by MerryH View Post
    Wait, aren't you the guy who is really outspoken about sex and how everyone should be having it no matter what? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's you.

    So why are you getting on her case and calling her stupid for having sex?
    I never said everyone should be having sex no matter what. But please feel to misquote me whenever you like.
    This girl is stupid because (depending on exactly where she lives in the USA) she has had sex underage which is illegal.
    She's not in a stable relationship.
    She's got herself pregnant.

    If that isn't stupid I don't know what is - yeah, ruin your life at the age of 15.

  6. #6
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    Girl you have no f ucking idea what you are in for. When that baby is born, your life stops. Everything you do is for that baby 24-7 for the next 18 years. You will have no future because you have to take care of this baby, that means you will have to provide for this child. Do you have a job? you have any money? don't expect your mother to pay for everything...darling you are on your own, this baby is YOUR responsibility. As for this BF, I bet money he will feel very trapped and go off partying and hit on other girls and leave you behind. Your mom and aunt are right about everything they say. Your future will be ruined because you will be missing out on the best years of your life as a teenager. There will be no parties for you, no boy will ever want to date you, you will be stuck at home with a screaming baby, changing shitty diapers with no money, no nothing. And that child will grow up with an immature irresponsible, broke ass mother that can't provide a decent life for them. You are so oblivious. Put that child up for adoption and learn about keeping your legs closed until you know how to use birth control.

  7. #7
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    How long have you been pregnant for? And how old is your boyfriend? You are still very young and having a baby is a very serious thing. I know at the moment everything seems possible and will turn out for the best, but sometimes it is better to listen to older people with more experience, particularly ones who care about you such as your mum and aunt. You've only been with this guy for a month. It might seem like he is the perfect guy for you, but can you be sure he feels the same way and will continue to do so once the baby is born? How does he intend to support you and the baby? It might feel like you don't need your mum's help, but you really do. You are only 15 and I'd imagine totally incapable of supporting a child financially. There are a lot of things you need to think about. Nobody else can make this decision, but, in cases like this, parents tend to know best.

    It might seem hard, but it would almost certainly be best to wait until you are older for this sort of thing. As others have said, the next years of your life are meant to be relatively carefree and fun. From personal experience, I'd say have an abortion if you can and wait. Someone I know had a baby when she wasn't much older than you. She dropped out of school and had years of hell with the unsupporting boyfriend she loved. She does have a lovely daughter, but it has taken many years for her to rebuild her life. This really isn't the kind of thing you want. Good luck

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    Uhmmmm , We were talking for more than a month & I'm not stupid for keeping what is MY everything ! It's my baby & I have a job & so does he & I never said I was asking my mother for help , my mother isn't even close to me . . YOU don't know what I'm dealing w/ , yeaaaa it may be bad timing but I never said my BOY - friend was perfect for me or I thought that because I don't think that . . & my legs are always closed = ) Idk what happened in his situation , but I know we used protection & my trojan did not put up a good fight ! But I swear My baby & him are EVERYTHING now & it don't seem like everything is ok because I know this isn't the right time & I'm young , but I know what I need to do & I can ( Re-guard less of what ever
    happens ) & I'm gonna' do what I need to do for my baby = ) Thanksss for the advice , But ALL the negativity from mongooose can stop =)

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    You have a job and so does he. OK, can you and he support yourselves without your respective parents. For example, if you have the baby where will you live? What happens if your perfect boyfriend who you hardly know decides not to stick around - call me negative but it often happens with young parents. How will you manage to work with a baby? Childcare costs a lot of money and you can't have a job and be a fulltime mum. You are just 15 years old and you think that you know what you need to do. YOU HAVE NOT THE SLIGHTEST IDEA - have you been watching too many Disney films. Bringing up a young child, even in a stable, adult couple with enough money is BLOODY hard work - yes, girl some of us have been there, done that and unlike you we know exactly what we're talking about.
    So take off your rose coloured glasses and start living back on planet earth instead of - Oh I love him (after one month), he loves me and we'll beat all the obstacles - chances are that you won't.

  10. #10
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    You had YEARS to have a baby and settle down. You are so young and I feel sorry for you. You have not experienced life and you never will as a free person, now you will always be tied down (to your child) I bet you are living with your mum? if so then you are a typical stupid teenage mother who wanted a baby for LOOOOVE and then expects her mummy and daddy to put them up!

    I do not want to hear about how you won't cheat on him, how he is the beeest boyfriend you ever had. I think you are pathetic and thank you for raising the statstics even more for teenage mothers. I hope your son isn't raised to be a thug but having a 15 year old mother, I say he has not got much hope.

  11. #11
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    I smell troll.

  12. #12
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    Well , Am I a Troll ? & Idek whatchuu' mean , YOU know more than I do about the sex & what if I'm not black ? I'm white ! SO NO THUGS !

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    ZING

    That was it really just using characters

  14. #14
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    Look, let's get the bad stuff out of the way...k?
    You are very young to have a baby...I wouldn't say you are "too" young, just young.
    See, the reason why your mom is telling you what she is -is because she doesn't know of any other way (to persuade you to abort the baby)
    other than to tell you this: which really means is that you have your whole life ahead of you, your schooling, your goals and all of your wants will take a back seat for this baby. The baby comes first.

    You don't even know this guy and yet he is going to have to be with you for the rest of his life, or at least the rest of the baby's adolescent life because
    you opened your legs...and didn't use protection OR didn't wait until you new him intimately (and I don't mean sex, either)
    You've cheated on every other BF -and because this feels "new" you think you don't have the heart to now...Just wait until a better
    option presents itself...Some people are only as faithful as their options. Quite honestly I don't even think you know yourself well enough, let along this guy in 1 month's time.

    Your baby isn't going to suffer UNLESS you and your man fail to stay together, and you wind up a single mother.
    What you have to understand is that you and your BF know NOTHING -when compared to all of life and the experiences you are going to miss out on due to your pregnancy...

    Your mother will change her tune when the baby is born BUT more importantly you have to start now with your future and don't wait.
    You need (if I were you) to quit school YES quit school if you haven't already. Next, sign up at an adult school to get your G.E.D.

    The reason why you're scared is natural BUT you need to come to grips with reality, and to become comfortable in your own skin AND with your choices you make.
    Stop thinking about everyone else for just a moment and ask yourself: WHO is going to take care of this baby? (You are)
    Who is going to have to make the sacrifices you will need to make to have this baby (You are)

    The answer is clear then right? YOU need to do what you need to do to give this baby the most secure and stable environment they will NEED as a baby...
    Get rid of your mother's wants and selfish expectations of you...Get rid of any other doubts...You want this baby- then you will have this baby...

    It is not wrong for keeping your baby at all!!!!! No matter what anyone tells you....BUT...consider this:
    -No more going out, clubbing, pawning off your baby to a sitter or some relative whenever your "girls" call you to go out.
    -You will need to be prepared to get up at all times of the day and night in order to take care of the baby's needs.
    -Your man will have to get a job, and support the baby while you stay at home and bond with the baby -baby's need at least a 4th trimester with the mother, trust me on this one.

    You can do it, BUT you cannot regret this choice EVEN mid way through the pregnancy. A decision is a decision is a decision, no butts about it.
    You must also realize that HE is going to change and that this change may or may not be in yours or the baby's interest.
    He isn't a man and now he is forced to become one just like you are forced to become a woman, a protector for your child.
    Last edited by SelflessnHumble; 17-01-11 at 06:38 AM.

  15. #15
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    It is admirable that you want to dedicate yourself to your baby and your boyfriend. And I remember being 15, and I know it is impossible to believe older people who tell you that you have no idea what is in store. But they are still correct.

    Look, best case scenario is that you AND your boyfriend have both just limited your future prospects significantly and will live together in poverty or near-poverty with your beloved baby forever. And that's pretty unlikely. More likely is that you and the boyfriend, who you hardly know, will end up splitting. Having a baby puts strain on all relationships, and yours has the disadvantages of being pretty new and you both relative strangers AND financial strain AND the young age of both of you. So that leaves you and this baby living in abject poverty alone. Think about this: perhaps the very most loving thing you could do for your boyfriend is to put this baby up for adoption so that he can stay with you for love rather tha feeling trapped? Perhaps the most loving thing you could do for this beloved baby you are growing is to give it up for adoption to a family that has dreamed of a child for years and has a life already in place to give that child a stable and supportive and comfortable home? You could choose the family and you could keep open communication so that you could see the baby grow. It is a very brave choice, and I urge you to consider it. Then, in a few more years, you and this boyfriend can still have a family and the happily ever after you are dreaming of...but with your degrees and financial future secure and your family's blessing.

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