I was kindof in the wrong but....

[flyink]

First off, hello everyone im new to LF and this is my first post so again HELLOO


The other day looked at my GFs instant messages history and came across a conversation between her and a guy from her college class. They were talking about Liking each other and she thought he was very attractive...
I talked to her about ( not in anger but confusion) and she said she says stuff like that to guys she knows likes her to BE NICE....Then went in to a trust thing and how she hurt that i did what i did. I have plenty of trust, most of her friends are men. The thing is i feel hurt aswell Do to the fact it see like its a What he doesnt know doesnt hurt him type of thing...I know looking at her messages was wrong but i wasnt doing it out of trust im canr reassure you of that....im he most trustful person youll ever meet.
I guess im not sure on what to do.

thank,
k
sorry about the poor grammer and everything

[Cain]

If you weren't doing it because you didn't trust her then why were you doing it? What did you expect to find?

[misombra]

she likes him. sorry.

[carl1222]

Cain and Misombra are both absolutely right. You gave into the temptation to open Pandora's box, and found what you hoped not to find. While still a shi**y thing to do for no good reason, I suppose it's better that you found out because it's something you need to know.

You've probably pushed them closer together. I can see it now:

HER: My boyfriend snooped in my IM history and saw our conversations!
HIM: OMG what a lousy thing to do I would never do something like that!
HER: Yeah, I feel so violated!
HIM: It will be OK ... just send me your new IM user name, and be sure to clear your IM history from now on.
HER: Yeah.


Good luck,

Carl.

[vashti]

That doesn't sound like the conversation a girl would have with a guy she was trying to get rid of, unless it went something like this: I like you, and I think you are a great guy - and attractive, too - but I am simply not available because I have a boyfriend.

Don't be a sucker, hun. If she wasn't being more direct about discouraging him, she was in fact ENCOURAGING him.

[flyink]

we when looking at house today and she talked about weddings.......


its like it never happened to her and when i brought it up she wondered why i had a grudge on her...

Im not sure what to think....

im i making something out of nothing or what

[carl1222]

Her outrage at your outrageous invasion has given in to her true feelings for you, and she's putting the misunderstanding over a bit of flirtation behind her. I'd suggest you do so too.

I can't guarantee that there isn't something going on ... nobody can. But her reaction today makes it much more hopeful.

Women are just as much suckers for flattery as men are. She may just simply find it nice that a man that she finds attractive finds her attractive too.

Carl.

[Cain]

I still wouldn't just let it go. You shouldn't have done what you did, but you still have things to talk about. She WAS flirting with someone else.

I'm sorry, but I don't think someone in a relationship should be telling someone else that they like them.

[flyink]

we had another talk about it again.. She told me i had nothing to worry about and that she said it due to her classes being so small that she would rather have someone be nice to her because they think she likes them, then deal with there rejection problems because she thinks the guy she was talking to is an asshole.

[Cain]

Really? It's nice to hear that she's willing to tell guys that she likes them in order to get what she wants or for it to benefit her... especially when she's in a relationship.

[Gigabitch]

I hope she understands that she's being irresponsible and ultimately unsafe, acting like that.

She probably doesn't mean any harm, flyink, but if this is her approach to dealing with men, you're in for a world of trouble and so is she.

Is this how she intends to behave in the workplace? What the **** is this- 1955?

[Mish]

we had another talk about it again.. She told me i had nothing to worry about and that she said it due to her classes being so small that she would rather have someone be nice to her because they think she likes them, then deal with there rejection problems because she thinks the guy she was talking to is an asshole.

If you want to continue being with her than you are best to forget the incident. Just tell her something along the lines "When guys approach you, please let them know that you have a boyfriend in the future" and hope for the best. Don't let this affect your trust for her unless it happens again.

[Junket]

She can be my friend if she likes, I won't reject her.