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Thread: Help me decipher such a message.

  1. #1
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    Help me decipher such a message.

    If anyone still remembers about my experience with that girl,i've an 'update' and wish for more directives.
    On the 25th dec last year0'8,we agree to give each other a 'break',time out if you understand what i mean.
    I went really brutually honest with my intolerances with her,not in a ass hole manner but in very honest way.Things like these won't sound good especially tell them their problems but certains just gotta be said.
    She said she needed time to think and sort out her thoughts after all that i said and think about her.
    For a week,she didn't log in to IM which is not her.I could guess she block me since we had a 'confrontation'.
    Never mind that.She added me on her new address the following week.It's been
    2 weeks since she added me but whenever i'm online she doesn't speak to me.

    There's nothing wrong if she doesn't speak to me but it makes me wonder what's the whole purpose in adding me if she doesn't want to talk.
    Why not just leave me out of her new address list until she's ready to speak or just leave me out of her list and let the whole friendship fizzle out?
    Last edited by UKboy; 19-01-09 at 01:07 PM.

  2. #2
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    Is she ignoring you when you speak to her, or are you complaining that she hasn't initiated a conversation with you?
    Spammer Spanker

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Is she ignoring you when you speak to her, or are you complaining that she hasn't initiated a conversation with you?
    Lunch break?Such fast reply.

    I haven't talked to her.
    No,i'm not complaining but yes,i'm wondering why hasn't she talked to me.
    I'm not trying to place myself on the pedestal by demanding her to initiate conversation with me.
    You see,2 days before x'mas we agree to meet on 4pm thurs.
    On the day itself,i text her early morning only to receive a reply in the afternoon,3pm with her asking me where are we meeting.
    1st mistake-we had agree on a place already and she's askign it again.
    She told me she had a change in schedule and would call me later to arrange a time.
    2nd mistake-if anyone had a change in schedule,should they inform others instead of others asking them?IT happened more than once and it bruise my ego on multiple occasion.That day was the last straw.

    Since our main issues is that she doesn't take the initiative to communicate and upon adding me,she doesn't initate convo,what's the whole point in adding me to her list then?IF she's waiting for me to initate then it's like she's taking me for granted again and i don't intend to rake up any bad feelings once again.
    Last edited by UKboy; 19-01-09 at 01:22 PM.

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    Adding you WAS initiative. It was an invitation. You turned her down by not talking to her.

    The ball has been in your court for days.
    Spammer Spanker

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    Adding you WAS initiative. It was an invitation. You turned her down by not talking to her.

    The ball has been in your court for days.
    Doesn't make sense.We agree to take a break from one another she needed time to sort her thought.
    Adding me one week later makes no sense if she wants me to initate convo.
    She has to know that after brusing my ego and confidence,it's no more as easy to initate anything with her.
    I could only relate that she add me as to her list to leave the door open but still doesn't wish to initate any convo.
    She knows i'll talk to her if she wants to talk to me.

  6. #6
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    But weren't YOU the one who was "brutal" with her?
    Spammer Spanker

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gigabitch View Post
    But weren't YOU the one who was "brutal" with her?

    What's wrong?If a friendship has any issues,it's always best to be straightforward to the other party and of course without resorting to profanities.I had to tell her what was her issues.

    It just bothers me knowing she add me one week after we decide to take a break.If that's the case,again,why add me?
    It's awkward coming online and seeing her online but yet we're not talking.
    Funny

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    If you want her... strike up a conversation with her... break the ice..

    If not... then delete her username... easy as that.

    Waiting around for her to figure out what's going through your head isn't going to get you anywhere, because she simply may not really know what you're thinking. Just like right now, you don't know what it is that she's thinking... so it would be best for you to either just ask how she's been or forget about her... rather than do this silent treatment bs - waiting for the other to cave first. Sounds like pride is getting in the way for both of you...
    "The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."

    - James Allen

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aeradalia View Post
    If you want her... strike up a conversation with her... break the ice..

    If not... then delete her username... easy as that.

    Waiting around for her to figure out what's going through your head isn't going to get you anywhere, because she simply may not really know what you're thinking. Just like right now, you don't know what it is that she's thinking... so it would be best for you to either just ask how she's been or forget about her... rather than do this silent treatment bs - waiting for the other to cave first. Sounds like pride is getting in the way for both of you...
    Sorry to say that i've been putting down my pride and letting her bruise my ego for almost a year.
    This time i'm placing bounderies delibrately to prevent myself from falling into the same mistakes.
    WHy doesn she need to figure what i'm thinking?I did made myself clear as to what her issues was-taking me for granted.
    Initating convo with her isn't tough.It's sending a few toneless words over the WWW if i put it in a cold manner but i want to see if she initate.If she does,at least i know she isnt taking me for granted.
    It's been 2 weeks since anyway and for the past 1 week i've been appearing offline.

    The truth be told,i'm actually thinking of changing email once again without telling her or our connected friends.It was jsut 2 days back i read her blog and she's still with her ass hole bf and seeing her happy with the new stuff in her life setting up blog shop etc etc,i don't intent to tell her "hey,you shld stay away from that bf of urs.."
    It'll only rake up bad feelings.Maybe it's good to silently leave her life?
    Last edited by UKboy; 19-01-09 at 02:14 PM.

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    what you need to do bro ...is to give her some space..and if you gave her that already and shes acting cold on you..go for a face 2 face conversation..then things will be much clearer...talking and discussing things that serious through the net ,you can easily misintrepret peoples mssage.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TipsGoda View Post
    what you need to do bro ...is to give her some space..and if you gave her that already and shes acting cold on you..go for a face 2 face conversation..then things will be much clearer...talking and discussing things that serious through the net ,you can easily misintrepret peoples mssage.


    I don't think you get what i mean.
    Anyway ladies,what the rationalities behind her actions?
    To me as a guy,it's stupid to add me on the list and then not break the ice.What's more,we both suggested a time out from one another and she goes adding me a week later on her new mail.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UKboy View Post
    I don't think you get what i mean.
    Anyway ladies,what the rationalities behind her actions?
    To me as a guy,it's stupid to add me on the list and then not break the ice.What's more,we both suggested a time out from one another and she goes adding me a week later on her new mail.

    Maybe she's keeping you as a back up, just in case her new relationship fails? In either case... seems like way too many head games here. Are you sure you want to keep playing these games? Plenty of women out there that would rather be more direct about such things...
    "The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."

    - James Allen

  13. #13
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    look help yourself., just go talk to her in person. It will end all the issues. it's juz a one- time confrontation then whatever happens at least it's over and u've done your part. you dont have to keep mulling things over every night.

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    Quote Originally Posted by richeanne View Post
    look help yourself., just go talk to her in person. It will end all the issues. it's juz a one- time confrontation then whatever happens at least it's over and u've done your part. you dont have to keep mulling things over every night.
    Why another confrontation?Because it should be face to face?We already had a big confrontation over text on Christmas day.I'm not mulling.Mulling is a strong word.I just want to know what's with her adding and not breaking the ice.You add someone and you don't talk,funny.Why add in the first place.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aeradalia View Post
    Maybe she's keeping you as a back up, just in case her new relationship fails? In either case... seems like way too many head games here. Are you sure you want to keep playing these games? Plenty of women out there that would rather be more direct about such things...

    Well,from experience,she does have a tendencies to ask me if i'm seeing any girls and whether that has any relations to anything,i can't tell because when she asked such questions,she's in the r/s.
    Thought she does seem happy with her bf from what i read on her journal[no i don't stalk,we're friends even before she met this guy 8 months back],there's underlying issues between them i believe.
    Considering their r/s is 7months old,I wouldn't think she's opening the door for relationship,i doubt i'm willing to bruise my ego again.There's a certain resentment to be honest.
    Perhaps opening the door for friendship yes.But if her intention is for me to initiate first,then i guess,there isn't much for me to do anything.

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