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Thread: Afraid of being rejected. Should I ask her out?

  1. #1
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    Afraid of being rejected. Should I ask her out?

    I am friends with an older woman and we have been hanging out a lot for the past few months. She has helped me through some tough times and I have so for her. We both like to do the same things like go rock climbing, hiking, and mountain biking. She has helped me grow and help with my social anxiety. She used to suffer from the same sort of thing. She also believes based on my personality that I need an older and mature woman who likes the same sort of things as I do, i.e. outdoors, beer tasting, travel, photography, etc...

    Now she has decided that she is going to move across the USA and I like her a lot. Should I tell her that I have a serious crush on her? We sometimes playfully flirt. I have limited dating experience and I have never been rejected, in the past I would never put myself in a situation where I did not believe I wouldn't be rejected.

    I don't think she has a crush on me, so I am not sure if I should tell her because I am afraid of being rejected by her and her not wanting to hangout with me after that. Last week we did a 7 hour hike. Later on that night we got some beer, a movie, take out pizza, and went back to her place to watch it. We were both sitting on her couch with our feet kicked up on the coffee table and sitting shoulder to shoulder and with her dogs beside us. Watching a movie while drinking beer and eating pizza.

    My friends that are girls say I should tell her and that I never know what could happen. They also say it would be good for me, to let her know.
    Oh and she is 29 and I am 22

    What should I do????

  2. #2
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    The part that stands out is that "she is moving across the USA"??? If that is a definite, I would just keep it to myself. If that wasn't the case, it sounds like you guys would be great together - that is if she is willing to be romantically involved with someone 7 years younger. Bottom line....if she stays, tell her.....if she goes, just remain friends.

  3. #3
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    Well she gave you a lot of clues there.."You need an older more mature woman". I think you should just go for it and see what happens. Ask her out or have a romantic dinner and see how she reacts to that. Good luck!
    -to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.- e.e.cummings

  4. #4
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    and if she felt the same, would you want to be in a LD relationship anyway?

  5. #5
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    Nothing wrong with becoming a nomad with her for awhile.

    You could do the Bonnie and Clyde thing.

    I prefer the nomadic lifestyle and always revert to it anyway, so, maybe it's for you, maybe it's not.

    Consider

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by AustinGuy View Post
    The part that stands out is that "she is moving across the USA"??? If that is a definite, I would just keep it to myself. If that wasn't the case, it sounds like you guys would be great together
    She wants to move from Washington D.C. to Colorado for the outdoors. To me it sounds not definite but she says it is and has been planning it for a few months.
    That is the problem if she leaves I feel more inclined to tell her then if she stayed. Because if she stayed I would not want to mess up the chance of continually hang out with her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bumble_bee
    LD relationship?
    I would not want to be in a LD relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by Doc Durian
    Nothing wrong with becoming a nomad with her for awhile.
    You could do the Bonnie and Clyde thing.
    I prefer the nomadic lifestyle and always revert to it anyway, so, maybe it's for you, maybe it's not.
    Consider
    Can you explain further? If you mean travel around with her, I would definitely do that.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theshyone View Post
    She wants to move from Washington D.C. to Colorado for the outdoors. To me it sounds not definite but she says it is and has been planning it for a few months.
    That is the problem if she leaves I feel more inclined to tell her then if she stayed. Because if she stayed I would not want to mess up the chance of continually hang out with her.

    I would not want to be in a LD relationship.

    Can you explain further? If you mean travel around with her, I would definitely do that.
    If you haven't got a problem travelling with her and possibly settling down somewhere with her what does it matter if you give it a go with her now?

    She's given you a hint. The whole older woman thing, not that 7 years is a big deal. She's probably more apprehensive that you'd find her too old, not you too young.

    It's not like you have to decide what the outcome will be before you attempt a deeper relationship. Who knows what the outcome will be. That's relationships for you. If you have feelings for her and she for you, try it on for size. You might be kicking yourself in a year or two if you don't.

    Then again, maybe she meant "older woman other than her" and she's in it for pure friendship. Again, you won't know until you explore.

  8. #8
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    bump..how do most women deal with situation when a guy tells them they like them and they do not like them back. Do women still want to be friends or do most of them completely end any type of friendship at that time.

    What I am trying to figure out is, if it is more worth it to tell her then not. I rather not risk not being able to hang out with her anymore. But then again it could work out. I also would like to let her know how she helped me out a lot and gave me great advice.

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