Should i tell her how i feel?

[leewon]

So here is my situation. Ive been like dating this girl for a month, well only went on 5 dates, but shes my sisters friend so we do stuff together. Well after the 5th date I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. 4 days later she tells me that she thinks we should go back to what it was and to take it slow, well I pretty much took that as that she just wants to be friends. Later I find out that this is not true, and that i think the problem is that I really don't express my feeling to her, well thats what we were talking about few days ago. Im thinking maybe thats why she wanted to go back to what it was. I never really did tell her how i felt about her, i guess i just assumed or something. Last night I could not fall asleep because of all that has happen and than I realized how much I have fallen for her. Should I tell her how I feel or should I wait? The "break up" or what ever you would call it was 5 days ago. Thinking if I says this now that she might think im desperate or something.

[smackie9]

You have only been on 5 dates and you want to tell her you love her? This is hardly a relationship and is most certainly not at this level yet. I think you should be spending more one on one time together first and let her get more closer to you emotionally. I didn't know you had to ask someone to be your GF/BF. In my experience it was just known especially when you are introduced to their friends as their BF/GF.....kinda just falls into place. Maybe that's what you should be doing, just relax and just let things happen instead of trying to push it along.

[smackie9]

Maybe what she was looking for was for you to be more passionate, and confident...."asking" her to be your GF is kinda weak.....that may have been a deal breaker for her.

[leewon]

yeah thats true, and I don't really have those strong feelings now kind of weird lol. Maybe cause i was drunk last night lol. Reason i asked her so soon was cause we hooked up a lot even before we dated, and she would be saying all this stuff to me, well more than half the time we were drunk.

[spiritofjosh]

In my experience I haven't asked a girl to be my girlfriend since I was 16, I'm now 25 and since then I considered most of the girls I was with my girlfriend, including one I dated for 5 years. And even then we just assumed that's what it was between us. The older you get the less and less things become so straight forward and official between relationships. Like smackie said, things just fall into place. That way if they don't they end up drifting off and things are a little easier than if she were to say "no" when you asked her to be your girlfriend. Just keep going on dates and let it ride, eventually if it works she'll start calling you her boyfriend without the question being asked.

[love guru]

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[Sweet Lemon]

Smackie is totally right if it's going to develop into something more committed it will just happen naturally, however because you haven't been overly expressive perhaps she decided you're not great boyfriend material and doesn't want to be with someone she might see as great for a hook up but emotionally unavailable. I think honesty is the best policy. Give her a chance by telling her that you're into her and that the definition of 'taking it slow' isn't randomly hooking up and pretending not to have feelings for each other afterward. That is a headgame and if she wants to play games then she's not worth it in the long term but if you're both happy to just get it on without getting emotional then maybe you can come to some kind of agreement. Good Luck

~Lemon

[smackie9]

I have put many guys in the "friends zone" and did that same deal when I had a BF that was not so great...I would seek out a willing participant and use them for comfort. As soon as they got all emotional with me I had to bail it was too awkward. So I'm speaking from experience.

The best thing to do is to stop being friends for awhile, and wait for her to be single...then show an interest in dating. The chances of anything coming out of this tho is very slim.