ok guys, i could use some help

[robotchick20]

I love my fiance to death, we have a child together and want to move in together. He used to lie to me, hide things from me, do things behind my back, and cheat on me. He has changed alot, but because of that my trust for him is super low and i'm constantly jumping to conclusions and constantly worrying. Even though he's changed he is still a sex addict wich worry's me alot! He says he feels bad about everything he's done and that he wants to change everything for me and our son. He thinks he's a "mistake" for everything. My question is, how can i help him learn to control and break out of the sex addiction? He is overly easy to turn on, it's a snap of a finger! That worries me alot and we can't affored nor handle another baby at the time, i give him sex so he doesn't feel he needs to go to someone else for it. Could someone help us?? Thanks guys!

[smackie9]

You have some homework to do. First thing, has he been diagnosed with this disorder by a professional? Is he getting treatment and counseling? If not, then I would strongly suggest that he does. This is a serious condition that needs treatment. Love and a caring partner is not enough. Next start doing your research on the internet. There are plenty of sites that will give you a better understanding about this disorder. Here is a link to an episode on National Geographic that looks into the life of a sex addict http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/national-geographic-channel/shows/taboo-1/ngc-sex-addiction/ (copy paste)

I hope that this will give you a good start.

[robotchick20]

No he has not been diagnosed having that, he just constantly wants sex.. i just want to help him not think sex is everything.

[smackie9]

You can't....it's a disorder that needs professional treatment and counseling.

[robotchick20]

Well a while back after he cheated on me enough times i told him i want him to see a therapist before i was truely his girl again, and he swore up and down he would and NEVER did cause he can't afored it. He also looked in with me pressuring him to go after he got me back. I told him now about it and he's blowing up. He doesn't believe he needs a therapist. I'm just at wits end, i don't want sex to be THE only thing im our relationship, but things i mention he gets overly protective and gets pissed.

[smackie9]

Marriage is not going to solve these issues. If you cannot trust each other, are not able to discuss issues and solve problems, and live normal happy lives....then it's a big fat fail. You will be divorced in no time.



Listen to me....giving him lots of sex isn't going to stop him from cheating. If he doesn't want therapy you only have one other choice....leave him.

[smackie9]

Personally I don't think he is a sex addict...that's a cop out. He is just a cheating loser and you are being naive.

[robotchick20]

Oh i know marraige won't solve the problem. However right now, im trying to get him to go, but he doesn't think he needs to let alone he says he doesn't have the money, that's because he is ALWAYS spending it the second he gets it! I'm getting tired of all this, but i love him!

[robotchick20]

Naive? Didn't you see what i wrote? He's getting better, he hasn't cheated on me in a while. However he wants sex with me all the time and i don't want that.