What's in his head?

[Ania_loves]

3 months ago I was out in a club with my mates and I've met a guy which I liked but we just had a little chat and he dissapeared in the crowd.
Next morning, I had a friend request from him on Facebook.My best mate said he has asked her about me and said he will add me cause I am adorabe and cute.
I accepted him, but we didn't start talking right on.We were silent for a month untill he posted a song and "I liked it", and he said 'hello' next time I signed in.
We started talking and we decided to meet and have a coffee.But, he called me and he said he is going to another country for 2 months cause thats part of his job.He travells all the time.
While he was away, we talked on Facebook and Skype.I noticed we are very different.I am calm and I like to think , and he is polite , but he likes showing off and most of his exes were blondes, you know lol.
Anyway,he was making plans what will we do when he comes back.It seemed that I am pretty important to him, cause at some level he was acting like I'm his girlfriend, although we didnt even met again after that night in the club.
When he came back, he called me same day when he landed, but he seemed sad cause his boss told him in a week he is going to another country in other continent and he will stay there 8 months.
We meet for a coffee , and it was pretty tensed cause he seemed a bit shy and I was cold and confused, cause he didn't act like he acted on Skype, although I know it is different.
He mentioned that he likes his job a lot, but one big disadvantage is that he cant have a normal relationship, cause no one will wait for him while he travels.I told him that I don't know how those kind of relationship work, but they do and I smiled.
After an hour ,We hugged said :bye and he said he will call.I like him, but I had a bad feeling in my stomach like it didnt went too well, from both sides.And especially not well, cause he will travel all the time.
Next day , he was online on Facebook and I said hi but again the convo was weird.I felt its weird.
Its been 4 days after the date and he is not calling yet.And, in the meantime he acted like he likes me a lot.
I don't know if I should call or what to do.I dont wanna call,and I dont like the waiting, cause it seemed things will be okay when he will come back.
I like him.

[sadie_genie]

I can envision the type of torture you have to go through if you continue latching onto feelings for this guy. His job is not compatible for a long term relationship and both of you know it. Maybe someday he is ready to settle down for marriage and then he will find another type of job that allows him to develop a long term relationship. But right now, his main priority is still his job. Keep in casual contact with this guy but don't think too much of it.

[sweetkissesforu]

I can envision the type of torture you have to go through if you continue latching onto feelings for this guy. His job is not compatible for a long term relationship and both of you know it. Maybe someday he is ready to settle down for marriage and then he will find another type of job that allows him to develop a long term relationship. But right now, his main priority is still his job. Keep in casual contact with this guy but don't think too much of it.

I agree with you after all the best relationships develop from being friends first get to know him first

[xxazurexx]

I don't think he's feeling it for you, in the same way you feel it for him, sorry.

A 'physical' relationship would not be possible, but if there are 'mutual' feelings an emotional one would be possible and despite the fact he's away, he'd want to keep in touch and communicate with you.

Sorry but I'm just one of these people who thinks that nothing would stand in the way of a true love, or true feelings for someone. There is always a way to keep in touch and people do if there is 'more' there.

[Regnent]

I suspect that while he knows that most women arn't prepared to constantly wait, that he isn't willing to wait either.
He knows his job keeps him away for extended periods, and probably realized that wether he likes you or not, he's not willing to wait either.

Go with the feeling and don't wait for him.

[xxazurexx]

I suspect that while he knows that most women arn't prepared to constantly wait, that he isn't willing to wait either.

Rubbish....you shouldn't generalise.

People do wait for each other and if the feeling is strong enough to wait.

Hiow old are you? 16?

[Regnent]

If the -mutual- feelings are strong enough to wait. And that is still a -minority-.
I also supsect that many of those situations are based on an existing relationship, not a new one.
That was also -his- generalization. One I happen to agree with personally.
My point is that if he -believes- that no ones willing to wait, I suspect that he doesn't want to wait either. Why bother waiting if you believe they arn't?
That is how my mind see's it. It's a risk vs reward thing. Low reward, high risk.

I -don't- want to be away from my family, so won't take a job that would take me away from it. Very simple.

Odds are, his job ranks higher than a stable relationship, otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it.
And as a male, if I were in that situation, I sure as hell wouldn't punish myself by trying to force two things that -tend- not to mix.

But I'm also fairly simple, and I like things simple if I can help it.

[smackie9]

Your response to him ( cold and confused) during your date has discouraged him. He may seem showing off-ish on the outside, but deep down he is unsure of himself. If a guy has to ask about you through a friend, that's a guy that is unsure of himself. You probably intimidate him. So if you are wondering if this guy really likes you, yes he does. If you really like this guy, you are going to have to turn up the heat and be more aggressive. You are going to have to show him, in person, that you desire him. Do this with, touching, heavy flirting, eye contact, and smiles......it will turn things around for sure.

[smackie9]

P.S. Who said a girl should wait for the guy to call her after a date? Last time I checked it's 2010, not 1950.......CALL HIM!

[Ania_loves]

Well, first he is 25 and of course he ranks his job high.He says he must so he earns enough money for a better future.If we would older and maybe in a longer relationship, I could ask him to stay or at least want him to stay.But, no.Not, now.Imagine the opposite.He wants to stay here and be with me and he doesn't even know me and he doesn't have a place on his own.
I like him cause he is caring and makes plans and want to suceed.
He often talks about family and the way he wants to raise his kids, and it seems very sweet to me.
I know things will be hard if we say we are couple.And, somehow I know we will get tired of it in the middle of it.I know I would.
And, smackie9,thanks for your comment.That was my first concern.Cause I was cold and confused and not the fun, confident girl I was on Skype.And, I hurried to go home.And, the next day I had a feeling I did something wrong.Something.
Maybe,best thing is not making things serious, being friends as you say first.But,after all those plans he was making (and I smiled), he is acting like he is giving up on me so easily.That is the part I don't like