I love you .... silence

[Deeza07]

So for those who uttered those 3 words first, how many were met with silence, indifference etc and how did you handle it?

[ufas1987]

I had an ex that I was totally in love with. I told her I loved her and was met with "I just cant say it back". That should of been a hint to me. She was getting ready to leave the state and prob didnt wanna commit...thats my guess. I tried and tried but couldnt get her to say it back. She left and broke up with me a month later. It took me getting into another relationship 3 months after for her to say it finally. She asked if we could get back together and I turned her down. Im not crawling back to someone that couldnt even say it the first time.

[maxmax]

She asked if we could get back together and I turned her down. Im not crawling back to someone that couldnt even say it the first time.

Couldn't say it the first time? Perhaps she didn't say it because she didn't feel it? Can you blame someone for that?

Or would you rather they say it to make you feel better, or just to make the situation a little easier?

You can't blame someone for not 'loving' you back, or at least feeling as strongly about you, as you do them.

That's just the way it is in relationships sometimes.

Perhaps it was being apart from you that made her realise how much you meant to her. Still, you know best it seems.

However, you shouldn't hold it against someone for being honest with you and not being able to say they 'love' you. And the fact that you 'tried and tried' to get her to say it, probably pushed her away and made the relationship akward. You can't force these things out of people.

[devonbrown]

Unfortunately, when you say "I love you" first, you are putting yourself out there. Potential rejection comes with that. However, it is a risk you take whenever you get into a relationship. It isn't the words that are as important as the emotions behind them.
Remember that everyone is scared of rejection and it could just be the other person hasn't worked up their courage yet.

[akatrma]

I've been living with my spouse for 5 years and she has yet to say those three words to me. She just can not say it. She says it's from her past and being betrayed by other men saying those words to her and not meaning them. Unfortunately I now start to believe it's all bollocks. She probably does not love me and maybe never have, I was probably chosen for my "Future Daddy" ailities and comfort rather than any strong romantic feelings.
In my book the only reason you cannot say those words are because your pride and/or fear is greater than your love.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

In my book the only reason you cannot say those words are because your pride and/or fear is greater than your love.

I would agree and add, "you don't love them", as number 3 on the list.

[devonbrown]

One other point I wanted to make to this thread - Words are simply combinations of letters that humans have put together to symbolize certain thoughts/actions/items/etc. Say you have a tree in your back yard. If you never said the word "tree," would it still be a tree? What if you called it "the tall thing with bark and leaves?" People would still know that you knew it was a tree.

Look at the persons actions. Do they say "love" to you, even though that person doesn't use the word?

It may all be semantics, but that is what communication boils down to...

G

[Ugly_Idiot]

I wait for them to say it first. ALWAYS.

[justcheckin]

I didn't even "say" it, she just called me out on it and said "dont say what I think you are going to say," and that was the end of that. we broke up a month or so later.

yeah it sucked, but you live and you learn. Never give a girl your full undivided attention.

[steviej]

After dating my ex for a few months she hit me with the big 3, i wasn't really that committed to the relationship, so in reply i just said 'i care about you too'.

She was not happy!! Lol.

She still said it several times over the next few months and i'd give her the same answer as before.