Reconnected with a past lover, of 14 years ago but he only talks about having sex

[patati]

About 14 years ago I've had a casual thing with a guy where we would meet from time to time to spend some time together and have sex.

At the beginning I was interested in him for more than just sex, but he was very closed off emotionally and the dynamic between us ended up being just casual, so I eventually gave up on having something more with him.

At that time I met my ex-husband and we started dating, so I stopped contacting that guy but never told him why.

Now I am divorced and I went on a dating app and we found each other by chance. We started talking and then realized who we were.

I told him why I stopped contact 14 years ago and also that I thought that what we had wasn't serious, to which he responded saying it wasn't serious but it could have been if we have had more time together, or if he had show me more of how he felt about me at the time.

This was a big surprise to me, because I never thought he could like me in any other way besides sex.

So, now we live in different countries and cannot meet at the moment, we'll have to wait until Christmas when I go and visit my family that lives in the same country as he is.

We have been texting everyday, but he still feels very closed off. He basically just asks how I am, but doesn't say much about his life, what is he doing, etc.

And he started talking about how sex was great between us (it really was, I'll give him that), and that he would like to kiss me and have sex with me again.

I mean, that's all fine, and with the long distance between us now, I don't see anything serious that could happen between us.

But, his lack of depth just kills me. We do have a good connection and I would love to talk more to him, about how his life is, what does he like, what is he doing, etc. I do try and tell him about me, but his messaging is always short sentences and not much info.

I'm just not sure if it's worth it, besides having a guy to have sex abroad.

I mean, I've had the whole casual sex thing after I got divorced, but I think at this point in my life I would like to have the whole package (sex and a nice deep emotional connection).

What do you think about this?

[crismero]

He could be an introverted guy, I guess. You may also gently provoke him by asking to tell more abouth what's he doing and things that you would like to chat about.

[patati]

He doesn't seem like a shy guy at all. A shy guy stating openly he wants sex? That's not a shy guy. An emotional unavailable guy yes, absolutely.

I don't need to provoke or push or force anything. The "real thing" needs to be effortless because both parties are interested.

[Vupros]

If you really wanna have relationship with a deep connection and emotions a guy abroad is probably not a good idea, especially if you don't know him that well and he is only talking about sex. He cannot give you what you want at this stage. Good luck!