A middle-aged guy and a young lady.

[Thunderstruck]

Hi, I just need a little knock in the head here, a wake up call. I know this is nothing serious but could go very wrong if I make a bad judgment. Please enlighten me.

I’m on my early 40's (Hey! I maybe old but I’m not dead! My heart still beats the same way it did when I was younger) and I have a crush (or maybe infatuated) on this young lady on her early 20's, a coworker. I see her everyday; she’s our new receptionist after all. ‘Good morning, sir. ’ is the default greeting I get from her most of the time. Then slowly came this ‘feeling of attraction’ towards her. I now think of her daily, sometimes daydreaming while at work and at home. I once checked on her FB (we’re not FB friends) just to get a glimpse of her beauty and even downloaded a couple of her photos (but deleted them after a few days because this could get me killed lol). I know something, somewhere, is not right.

But honestly, all I wanted is to be friends with her. I’m a guy who can walk dimly lit streets and have stare-down with strangers and not feel scared. I can say that I like her or have a crush on her if I wanted to, any moment, anytime (Done this a lot before). Because I certainly believe that once I have told her my feelings; everything becomes ‘relaxed’ and ordinary. The thing is, is this the right thing to do in this time of my life? Or should I just keep my lips sealed and secretly still be in awe of her while feeling helpless, with painful thoughts that you know this thing is not going to work? Please help.

I am married and I love my wife.

Thank you.

[basilandthyme]

Is this the right thing to do in this time of your life?

Well, besides the fact that you're married and apparently love your wife? This is infatuation. A trick of your hormones. Nothing more, nothing less. How do I know this? Because you know nothing about this girl. She's not even interested enough to become your FB friend - let alone a real life lover.

Go home and enjoy your wife.

(you asked for a knock in the head)

[starbar]

I agree you are probably just bored with your life and need to spice things up.. Its just infatuation and not worth throwing your whole life and everything you have worked hard for down the toilet.. work on your marriage and put all this effort into your wife. send her flowers, whisk her away somewhere nice, get counselling if you need it. get this silly crush out of your head and stop acting like a teenager. You are a grown man with responsibilities and I hope morals, integrity.. do what is right.

[Chock]

Thunderstruck,

First, you're hardly "middle aged"..... you're still in the young crowd and having a relationship with an early 20s girl could work out fine, but you're approaching a generation apart.

But the real point is that you're married, and apparently happy with your wife. This is just a small bit of infatuation and you need to get it out of your head. More than likely, it will cause way more problems than it will solve.

Now, if you're on the end of your marriage, getting ready for divorce and see no solution, then, by all means. pursue her.... but time it to get serious only after the divorce is final.

Also, a relationship at work that doesn't work out can also cause a lot of problems.

[Nicolelong]

Starbar nailed it. You're a married man with a lustful crush. It happens, but it's important not to act on it. Focus on reinvigorating your marriage and don't do something you're going to regret later