Where do I start?

[BarnBurner]

Oh boy. A couple of months ago I finally hooked up with a woman. It was more than a physical attraction I had to her so I thought the time was finally right to lose the virgin tag. I thought we were going to hook up even though I was getting ready to move. I found out during our first night together that she broke up with her last boyfriend the week she met me. Yeah, I know, rebound. I ignored the warning flags anyway....because I really liked her and loved spending time with her.

I think it's true that your first time having sex is a joke. Mine sure was. It ended up with me driving from one store to another at 2 o'clock in the morning with a rock hard boner in the drivers seat. It was hilarious....one of those priceless moments that I will miss with her.

When we actually did the deal, I could clearly tell she'd been with a LOT of other guys. But, I didn't care at the time, because it seemed like we were a good fit and liked each other. I just ignored the red flags because I was falling for her...and losing my virginity didn't help anything (Even-though I was feeling like that before he had sex).

After we did it, that's when things really got jacked up. There wasn't a lot going on at my end, but she just kind of flipped out about some issues she was having in her life. My biggest concern was that I still wanted to be with her even-though I was moving. As far as I know, I'll only be gone a year.

There were other issues though. The biggest one for her was celibacy. A couple of dates after we'd done it, she said she wanted to wait until she got married before having sex again. Allegedly, according to her it had nothing to do with me (Another red flag). As sucky as that was, I was nonetheless in love with her at the time. Besides sex....I just enjoyed being with her. She's an awsome person and also is one of the few women on this earth that I feel comfortable just being around. Despite what I said....she still didn't want to see me after that date (Which really sucked because I finally had time to chill with her). I feel like the only tragedy is waiting 26 years to have an intimate relationship with someone special...only to see them completely wig out. I'm really sad, because I thought she wasn't like all of the other ones that I passed up for so long.....

There's a lot of other things going on, but I'm just sticking with the synopsis right now.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, I think you should try to separate out the two things I see going on here:

1) You wanted to "lose the virgin tag". Mission accomplished.

2) You fooled yourself about a girl until you couldn't fool yourself any longer and now, fortunately, you're going away for a year so you don't even have to deal with her much longer.

Neither of these things is a real problem. You're just attaching mushy feelings to her because you think you should, since you had sex and all. That's not necessary. It's nice, but not necessary.

Count your blessings. She's given you plenty of reasons to just walk away and I think you should. Next time, be a little more clear about what you see right in front of you. If it's girlfriend material, act accordingly, and if it's NOT girlfriend material (like the nutjob you recently nailed), don't expect too much.

[BarnBurner]

If I had any idea she'd wig out I would never have had sex in the first place. She's the one that brough it up too! We were necking on the couch and all of the sudden I hear "I think I'm ready." I'm like "WHAT? Um okay." Sure I wanted to lose it....but I guess I just wanted it to mean something with someone special.


I just really had feelings for her, even before we got it on. But no more.