winning him back

[timelessheart]

i loved someone with all my heart and soul he says he feels the same way but he doesn't want commitment because he's very far sometimes hes sweet most of time he's distant and cold.Please help me if you have tips or insights to win him back again. How to win his heart again or just make him talk to me again....tnx

[Mathias]

You can't make someone do something or feel a certain way.

Trying to do that is going to drive you crazy.

[smackie9]

Sad but true, the other poster is right. You can't force someone to be with you, just because you don't want to be without them. There is nothing worse than being rejected like that. Since this is what has happened, you need to push yourself away from this and realize you deserve better.

[timelessheart]

thanks for the message yeah i know im crazy about him, tried many times to avoid him but whenever i sees him online cant help but to send him a message. He said that im special he just cant make time for me because of his work i want to believe him but sometimes im hurt whenever he wont reply to my messages. He's not like that during our college years he said he changed because he needs to protect himself.

[timelessheart]

sometimes i'm confused about his actions

[surfhb]

sometimes i'm confused about his actions

Ok....let me get this straight. You want somone who's cold and distant and has rejected you as your lover?

Please pull your head out of your butt

[Mathias]

thanks for the message yeah i know im crazy about him, tried many times to avoid him but whenever i sees him online cant help but to send him a message. He said that im special he just cant make time for me because of his work i want to believe him but sometimes im hurt whenever he wont reply to my messages. He's not like that during our college years he said he changed because he needs to protect himself.

You're trying to justify his actions. Stop.

Move on.

[timelessheart]

we havent seen each other for 10 years now we just have our communication back 2 years ago so im thinking maybe his like that because we havent seen each other or maybe im hoping that things will change if we'll have the chance to see each other again. We're not really a couple...just more than friends less than lovers sort of thing way back our college years

[luvleegirl]

I'm not a male, but speaking from experience you need to leave this guy alone for a bit. It seems like he knows you will be there whether he makes a commitment or not. He probably senses your desperation for him which will not make him want you anymore. You need to be patient and let this man come to you.

I've been in your place before and it really sucks and it is hard to get over. My advice to you is to pull yourself together, try to focus on something else that makes you happy for the meantime. Maybe this guy will come back to you, maybe he will not. Chances are he will start wondering about you and want to know what you're doing and why you haven't been deperately trying to win his heart... act as if you could take it or leave it.

When he starts wondering, you need to tell him that you want a commitment or nothing at all because you deserve better
and he isn't giving you what you need. If this guy really likes you he will do what he can to be with you. Don't down yourself for this person. Don't settle for him unless he gives you what you want... If he can't do that then let him go. Make room for someone who will.
Good luck.

[timelessheart]

thanks a lot for that wonderful advise hes coming over this december and hes asking to see me and im hoping that everything will turn out fine

[surfhb]

thanks a lot for that wonderful advise hes coming over this december and hes asking to see me and im hoping that everything will turn out fine

Why would you thank someone for advice you don't intend to follow?

[smackie9]

So you are saying you never really had a serious relationship with this guy.....10 years ago (geez). I would be very cautious of someone obsessing over me like that....for years.....not a healthy state of mind.....a little crazy?

Now I know what he meant by "protecting myself".

[Mathias]

So you are saying you never really had a serious relationship with this guy.....10 years ago (geez). I would be very cautious of someone obsessing over me like that....for years.....not a healthy state of mind.....a little crazy?

Now I know what he meant by "protecting myself".

Speaking as a guy, it's sadly way too easy to string these kinds of girls along. They don't require much attention, and they're always at your beck and call whenever you snap your fingers.

Then again, there are many guys that let girls do this to them as well. It's depressing.

[luvleegirl]

Speaking as a guy, it's sadly way too easy to string these kinds of girls along. They don't require much attention, and they're always at your beck and call whenever you snap your fingers.

Then again, there are many guys that let girls do this to them as well. It's depressing.

Agreed.. I've seen situations where the girl is waaaay out of a guy's league. She is smart, beautiful, has her shit together... but she pines over this one man who treats her like dirt when she could almost have anyone she wants... or at least get a man who treats her with respect. It's sad we do that to ourselves.

[smackie9]

I don't see any stringing along here. Remember we are only hearing one side of the story. I for one have someone that has been pining for me for 30 years. I tried to be just a casual chat friend 5 years ago, but he got it so twisted in his mind that there could be more, just like when I last saw him in high school (we were just friends). I thought all that was in the past and he moved on....but no that was not the case. I tried to keep my distance, and explained that there will be no hanging out or any physical contact hoping that would be it, but no again. I had enough, told him not to talk to me again...stop sending me emails. Then he would confront me where I shopped, and had to dodge away, and get out of the store. That was like 3 years ago. He still sends me emails, begging me, but I never respond. Just this weekend he tried to friend me on FB. I bet money on it he will read this post. He stalks me on the forums, reading my posts and will refer them in the emails......not kool when you are being chased down by someone who is obsessed.....it's down right creepy, and they just don't get it.