how to overcome the betrayal?

[por que]

I have spent more than one year with a guy giving him everything I have to give, all my attention, all my spare time, all my care...
A couple of weeks ago he told me that he was going on a trip with his friends. Two girls that are going on this trip are in love with my boyfriend, the first one likes him really very much and wants something serious with him, the second one just likes flirting with him. Among these friends there is also one guy whose hostility towards me is for some reason really great, usually he doesn´t even says hi to me. And there are a couple of persons more who are going on this trip.
During this year we have been together he has never travelled with me, he has even never proposed to travel together in future. Once I invited him on a journey myself and he refused. And now he is going on a trip with all these people.
He goes on this journey exactly then when I will have some important events in my job so that I wouldn´t be able to follow him (I anyway would not).
And all these people know me personally and there are a lot of other people who know both me and my boyfriend. And he showed to all of them that I am not good enough to be his travel mate. All the couples I know have travelled together at least once. Everybody except us.
I work in tourism and I started hating my job. I cannot see happy couples travelling together.
I am not asking anymore why he did it, why he betrayed me - the closest peson he had. It doesn´t matter why because the answers to my why-questions will not help me to overcome this all.
The only thing I want to know how I can stop thinking about this at all, stop feeling this terrible emptiness inside, stop crying. How can I be as indifferent as he is? How can I start living my new life for myself only? How can I start smiling again?
Help me please...

[snoz]

It really is hard, there's no kidding anyone. What makes it worse if you want to get away but you can't, everything seems to be tainted in some way or another and you just stop and ask yourself why even try.

Take it one step at a time. You need to learn how to walk again. Go out with your friends, enjoy time being alone or just out somewhere, take up a hobby, do things you have never done with him. I want to give you a definite way to overcome betrayal but all it really takes is time, one day out of the blue you'll think back and tell yourself, was I really that stuck up about him.

[wilsongan]

Hey there Porque. Nice to meet you. Now stop being SAD! Just kidding. Hehe.

Listen, your situation is a very simple simple one.

It needs you to answer one question. Do you love him THAT much to endure everything?

If yes : Stay on the relationship and show him you can have fun too.

If no : Leave the relationship and go have your own fun.

Hey, somebody who makes you feel that bad, is a donkey. Why you go loving a donkey that way? You can care for a donkey, you can feed them, you can talk to them, but you cannot marry a donkey. They are D-O-N-K-E-Y-S!!!

Get it?

If he's going to continue being a donkey, be smart and find a man! Be kind to yourself. He's just taking you for granted because he knows you're much more in love with him than he is with you.

Don't let people squeeze you by the......you know what. Haha.

You tell them you can squeeze them yourself. Now go have some fun! Good fun. In times like this, people have the tendency to revenge, hence they will find some fun, hoping the `fun' will get to the ears of their lovers and then make them pissed or jealous.

These type of `fun' only destroys you. If you like to have coffee, go out to a diner now and get yourself one. Stop whining for a donkey ok? You're such a great girl for being able to endure this crap. He don't deserve you, and you don't need him. Tell him that if he thinks you're not good enough, he's not good enough for you! I hate people who believe they are better than the other! They usually are the lousier ones!

[leitzin]

He's just taking you for granted because he knows you're much more in love with him than he is with you.

wilsongan is right on...

There is a rhythm to your relationship... it's perfect as it is... You give... give... give...
He takes... takes... takes...

It really is perfectly balanced...

THE ONLY PROBLEM is that you are not happy. Happiness is a choice. There are actually people who love being trampled on and belittled. So... either find a way to be happy ... In the relationship YOU HAVE CHOSEN

OR

Move on... BUT... know this... I've said it before... Unless you get to the end of you rope... In your next relationship... You're likely to climb the same rope again. Nothing wrong with fully experiencing codependency if you can put it behind you and walk away healthy.