Having Some Issues...

[lilly1185]

This won't be on the catastrophic scale as some of my posts usually are (...)
but c'mon guys. HALP!

I'll tick off some random important facts and swim in and out of details as I go- I'm a bit sleep deprived;
-Single mom
-In school
-Living with parents *guh*
-Got a little lazy on that break up thing, hasn't happened. He's in AA though, that's kinda good news?

Sometime last year I was living in my hometown barely scraping by, but succeeding moreso than I am now. After frequent conversations with my mum, and her begging me to "move back home" I bit the bullet and did.
Biiiiiiiiiiiiig mistake.

My dad and mom have been having serious marital problems (which they've apparently overcome...), but my dad works out of the country frequently, and mum work's thirdshift at a big-name retail chain.

After trying to hold down a job (and failing) and getting back into school (...and near failing at that), I'm kind of falling apart.
The time I used to spend with my son is diminished. I find I'm either trying to catch up on sleep, or doing school work that I've gotten weeks behind on.
I can't seem to get into a schedule, and my son is suffering for it as well. Since he's got on this stay-awake-till-three-am kick, I can't get him out of it. At all.
He actually went to bed at 11p tonight, only to wake up at 2a and now we're awake watching nick jr while I'm trying desperately to scrap up a paper due in 3 hours.

So I guess the short of it is I can't get him in a schedule, and I can't get me in a schedule. Anyone have any advice? And no, tying him up in a closet won't work- he's pretty resourceful.
Ty

[Gigabitch]

Okay, first of all, watching TV in the middle of the night is not going to help get him back to sleep. You're rewarding bad behavior. You need to be on a schedule too, and you're going to get completely fried if you keep losing sleep like this. Go to the library and get a book about sleep, maybe Dr. Sears has one. This is the only real problem I see in your post, and it's an emergency.

Your parents' problems should not be your problems. Did your mom want you to move back so she would have an ally against your dad or something?

Do you really have time for a relationship right now, especially with someone who needs to be in AA?

[lilly1185]

Okay, first of all, watching TV in the middle of the night is not going to help get him back to sleep. You're rewarding bad behavior. You need to be on a schedule too, and you're going to get completely fried if you keep losing sleep like this. Go to the library and get a book about sleep, maybe Dr. Sears has one. This is the only real problem I see in your post, and it's an emergency.

Your parents' problems should not be your problems. Did your mom want you to move back so she would have an ally against your dad or something?

Do you really have time for a relationship right now, especially with someone who needs to be in AA?

Relationship? Not really- no. I seldom see him as he works 6 days a week and we busy ourselves so it's not particularly a strain.

Dr. Sears + sleep, duly noted.

I honestly have NO idea why my mom wanted me to move home.
She swore up and down it was simply to "help me out" and that my son would be "better cared for" than the "nut jobs I call friends".

The only thing I can garner is that my son's sleep schedule has lined up with my mom's work schedule, he goes into utter catastrophe if he goes a day without seeing EVERYONE who lives in this house.
The television issue is a big issue I admit; he has no qualms about flouncing up to the television and turning it on himself. :/ He can even correctly identify which DVD he wants to watch and puts it in himself. I guess I'll have to pop it off at the powersupply :/
Thanks.

[qwertz]

How old is your son?

The main problem here is your sons sleeping pattern and depending upon how old he is depends on what will work best in getting him into a routine. By the sounds of it you need to be a little more firm with him. He cant always get what he wants, hell if i let my son get what he wants all the time then I would be exhausted. It is possible to work full time and have quality time with a child, its called living. I reckon when you can get his sleeping under control and in a routine you will manage much better with everything else.

[lilly1185]

How old is your son?

The main problem here is your sons sleeping pattern and depending upon how old he is depends on what will work best in getting him into a routine. By the sounds of it you need to be a little more firm with him. He cant always get what he wants, hell if i let my son get what he wants all the time then I would be exhausted. It is possible to work full time and have quality time with a child, its called living. I reckon when you can get his sleeping under control and in a routine you will manage much better with everything else.

I'm having trouble with that "getting in a routine" thing.
I may have a misconstrued idea of working (or in my case, school) and spending quality time with kids because my parents were so damn backward- 'nother story for another day.

My son is 2, and is incredibly stubborn. My mom is from the school of "screaming then smacking" and tells me I'm "too soft" or "I let him get away with murder" when I take him by the hand and lead him away from the crime scene onto something more productive.
I've given him a fair amount of pops on the butt, but either way he seems to go right back to what he was doing to begin with.
I guess at this point I've no idea where to begin.

When it was just me, he was a little more obedient, but I don't know if that has all changed because he's aged, or there are two totally different parenting styles going on.

[qwertz]

Where does he sleep? does he have his own room? Does he have a set bedtime? Can you put a baby gate up to stop him leaving his room when he feels like it?

I'm personally against any sort of physical punishment, especially at night time when the child needs to be relaxed in order to sleep. My son (he's 3) went through a phase of sleeping poorly and bedtime was a struggle, it took around 3 nights of very little sleep, but everytime he got up out of bed i would calmly put him back into bed and tell him its bed time- made sure to say no other words to him, i had to repeat this over 50 times one night (though admittedly it was harder with my son than most other children) but i kept going and kept the consistency- i made sure to do it calmly to make sure he didnt pick up on any anxiety.
He now sleeps through the night for 11 hours every night.

I have had a routine with my son for years now, he has his dinner at a certain time followed by some play time and he is allowed to watch one cartoon, then its brush teeth/wash and bed time (if your son likes bath time then a warm bath can help relax them- i dont as my son hates bath time!) with milk.

It might be worth having a word with your mum and seeing if you can come to some arrangement over his routine, so she will keep him to it if you are not there.

[lilly1185]

Where does he sleep? does he have his own room? Does he have a set bedtime? Can you put a baby gate up to stop him leaving his room when he feels like it?

I'm personally against any sort of physical punishment, especially at night time when the child needs to be relaxed in order to sleep. My son (he's 3) went through a phase of sleeping poorly and bedtime was a struggle, it took around 3 nights of very little sleep, but everytime he got up out of bed i would calmly put him back into bed and tell him its bed time- made sure to say no other words to him, i had to repeat this over 50 times one night (though admittedly it was harder with my son than most other children) but i kept going and kept the consistency- i made sure to do it calmly to make sure he didnt pick up on any anxiety.
He now sleeps through the night for 11 hours every night.

I have had a routine with my son for years now, he has his dinner at a certain time followed by some play time and he is allowed to watch one cartoon, then its brush teeth/wash and bed time (if your son likes bath time then a warm bath can help relax them- i dont as my son hates bath time!) with milk.

It might be worth having a word with your mum and seeing if you can come to some arrangement over his routine, so she will keep him to it if you are not there.

He does have his own room- it's just a matter of whether he really wants to sleep in his own bed or not.
Most of the time lately, I've been laying with him in my bed and passing out before he does. I have NO idea how he does it.

Having words with ma is always difficult- if I don't approach her just right she explodes into an "I'm a good parent, you guys were never this bad," defense. I *wanted* a baby gate, but it's another idea my mom rejected because she thinks he'll just climb over it. Mom felt the same way about the things you put on the door knobs to keep them from getting out, until he unlocked the doors and made it to someone's house two streets over. Although to be fair, he's broken all the child locks on the cabinets. :/

After today, I my weekend for school begins, so I will have to give this repetition thing a go.
Ty.