Performance Anxiety or what??

[SweetAndSpicy]

So I have been seeing this really sweet shy guy since June. It took almost two months for him to kiss me. I like the slow pace as I am used to exes rushing the physical stuff and not slowly getting to know me first like this guy is. Last Friday night we had a beautiful moonlit beach walk and I ended up going home with him but here is the thing, he did not initiate or talk about having intercourse once. No pressure at all. Instead he went down on me for a full hour straight and it was the best oral I have ever had in my entire life! He did not expect to get oral in return but in my book he deserved it for giving me the best oral pleasure of my life. He refused to ejaculate in my mouth which I thought was respectful. Most men I feel would not care and just do it without being so considerate. He still insisted on me staying the whole night but not once tried or asked to "go all the way" as they say. I am 27 and he is 33. He cuddled and kissed me all night and he stayed in contact with me. He is still around and very affectionate. His room mate is gone all week so tonight I made us both dinner at his place. He went down on me non stop both before and after dinner but again did not even mention sex or hint around to have any. And we always cuddle kiss, be all cute and watch TV. He never rushes me out. We have never spoken of our sexual histories.

Is it possible that he might have performance anxiety or inexperience and makes up for it by giving great oral? Or does he legitimately care about me and does not want to rush intercourse and be saving it for a more special occasion? Or is he going to want me to initiate intercourse when the time comes??? Two of my guy friends believe he could possibly be a virgin. They think any guy they know would expect intercourse if a girl stayed with them over night. I am a bit confused but realize this is also a good thing in some sense. The fact that he took two months to kiss me makes me realized he always enjoyed my company and wasn't trying to see what he could get physically out of me.

I know I probably shouldn't be complaining about getting so much oral from a guy who doesn't expect anything in return who refuses to ejaculate in my mouth. This might be every woman's dream here. Call me crazy but I am wondering if this is normal behavior for a man??? The problem could be I had too many jerks who did not care!!! Any advice I would appreciate!!!

[smackie9]

There can be many reasons why. Maybe he has herpes or the HPV virus, maybe he suffers from PE with penetration, maybe he is saving himself for marriage...who knows. The only way to know is to ask him yourself. If you see this heading into a serious relationship, then you better start with good communication.

[Wakeup]

Why are you asking us this question? If you're putting each other's genitals in your mouths, then you should have the emotional maturity to discuss all your questions with him. If he's even talking to you after seeing you with your ex.

Being able to communicate with your partner is very, very importanat and if you don't make a habit of feeling safe to discuss ANYTHING with him, then you will be in big trouble as far as being able to maintain a relationship with him that remains happy.

Since you've already been sexually active with him, I suggest after you've found out if he's:
Gay/virgin/ED inflcted/stupid/saving penetration for his intended wife ~ and you can live with that or not, that you talk about exclusivity. Hopefully neither of you like to be in sexual harems so exclusivity should be no problem for either of you while you discover if this relationship is worth being in or not.