Is it unrealistic for me for be waiting for that one special guy? Is there such thing

[Jaelisha]

I'm 17, 18 in a few months. Never had a boyfriend. have however dated two guys unofficially, where we both liked each other and were looking to take it to the next level but were getting to know each other more before rushing into anything.. I was with the first guy for about a month and a half, and the second guy for two months.. It would have led to a more serious relationship with both of them, but they turned out to be guys i didnt think they were and i ended up getting quite hurt in the end.. Even though it was minor, i've been extremely closed since then.. Especially since my father cheated on my mother and their divorce went through in the beginning of May.

I have now been completely single for over a year and to be honest, as much as I feel as though I would love to have a boyfriend, and love to feel what others feel when they're in love, I don't think it's going to happen for me at this age. It's very rare for guys to be completely mature at this stage in their life, especially when they're 18 years old/in University/having fun.

One thing is, i'm glad i've never had a boyfriend but upset at the same time. There are so many guys out there and I always do wonder to myself why i'm single sometimes.. Many of my friends even find it weird that i've never had a boyfriend too..

What i'm trying to say is, is it unrealistic of me to wait for the one special guy or do you think i'm living in some sort of dream world where i'm waiting for the one guy that isn't going to come...

Looking back on the two guys that i was with, at the time i thought to myself that they were potential boyfriends, but analysing it now, they weren't. I didn't have the special connection with them, I did have butterflies but it's not the same thing. I wasn't able to be my COMPLETE self around them and I just feel as though that's what i'm willing to wait for.

For that guy that I can get along with so well, be myself around, have fun with, connect with on a different level but to be honest, I don't even know if there's such thing..

[VincenzoG91]

It's okay to have some standards, and to stay single when you're not meeting any guys who live up to those standards. But if you think there is just one guy on this planet who is right for you... it's very unlikely that you would ever even meet that guy. In reality, there are probably quite a few guys who you would find very compatible, if you kept an open mind.

You seem especially focused on maturity. I agree, you're not likely to meet mature 18-year-old guys. Maybe you should try dating a guy who is a little older, like 23 to 25 years old. Wait until you turn 18, though, so they won't be worried about your age.

[xxazurexx]

I'm unsure if that 'one' special guy exists. There are millions and millions of men on the planet and there could be quite a few among them, who could be that special guy for us. But we will never meet them unfortunatley.

I think that for every woman though, we will meet that special guy one day. The one who none other will ever compare with. Perhaps we have alredy met him, maybe we feel our current partner is that guy, or we are destined to meet him in the future perhaps.

You are only 17. At your age, I hadn't dated any guys either nor had a relationship. I had no experience with guys whatsoever and my first love arrived when I turned 18...ahhh and he was my 'special' guy and has remained so to this day. Never met anyone else that I loved, as much as I loved him.

It will happen for you one day

[Jaelisha]

Thank you for your advice.
& yeah, I'm not just looking for one guy to be with for the rest of my life, but just someone who i am highly compatible with. I know that is unlikely that my first boyfriend will be my husband but i'm finding it extremely hard to find someone that I can connect with. Everyone I seem to meet do not match my standards and personally I do not believe that my standards are high, I have just experienced some struggles in life like a lot of people in the world, but most guys i know are just immature and only go for girls who are near to perfect when it comes to looks, personality comes second to them.

[xxazurexx]

^You know something I'm 'exactly' the same. I'm a right fussy cow and when it comes to men and I have standards these days also. More so and because in the past I attracted 'dickheads'. I had to do something to stop attracting that kinda man! Now I won't and would never settle for anything I don't want, even if that means I will be alone for the rest of my life, I don't care! lol

There are very, very few men I connect with either, but I have found 'that' connection with 2, or 3...a deep connection I mean. The rest all just turned out to be, part and parcel of my experiences and were basically a waste of my time and effort.

But honestly, you will meet him one day, as we all did. Like I said, you are still young, you have years ahead of you yet.

[Gigabitch]

He won't come ready-made and wrapped in a package with a big bow, in my experience. You'll have to compromise and so will he. There will be lessons to be learned on both sides as well. With enough work and patience, you and some guy out there can grow to be compatible and happy together.

You should make a list of all the qualities and characteristics you want this perfect guy to have and realize you may have to give up half of them.

The right guy isn't always the perfect guy.

[Kaius]

^^ wow Giga, that's pretty insightful. You and my woman should get together and have tea. I'm always apologizing to her that I'm not "perfect". She says pretty much the same thing as what you stated!
Obviously I'm not perfect....I'm freakin mentally insane! But to her, I'm the bee's knees! So there is in fact a special someone for everyone.... Op has much to look forward to.

[tam]

Hey you are not the only one single at 17 or 18.

As most of us mentioned, date someone older, I'd recommend 20 – 24. Don’t be picky (like me, unfortunately!), If someone really likes you, he’ll probably listen to you & make minor changes to his lifestyle, appearance etc.

The right guy can be one of your neighbours, classmates, friend’s friend…..can even be a random dude from your facebook you never know. Keep your eyes and ears open

Never had a girlfriend when I was 17!