Continue with long distance looming?

[wendit]

I graduated from college last year and have been working on growing a business which I started in college. My girlfriend goes to college in the town where I live, pursuing a teaching degree. It is her 3rd year and she will be moving to 500 miles away for 4 months this summer to do some student teaching. We have dated for 4 months, she loves to travel and see new places. I hardly ever travel and have never moved. She has moved many times and lived in different countries. She was gone for three weeks over Christmas and it sucked, we talked every night but it still sucked. She plans on taking a placement upon graduation, which could be anywhere. I really have no desire to move away from life long friends and my whole family. Is there any sense in continuing when it appears that most likely we will part. I think that her staying here is a long shot at best. She hates the small town where we are at.

[lahnnabell]

This girl is ambitious and has big goals for herself, which is great. I don't think you can expect that she's going to alter her life direction to stay in a town that she hates, as you put it. And if you'd rather stay where you are, then it might be time for you two to talk about where the relationship is going. It's gonna suck if you guys are really into one another, but it doesn't look like she's ready to settle down just yet.

[shheadz]

Sounds bad. You should ask her where she sees your future together, because if she's as smart as she sounds she's thinking the same thing as you.

[wendit]

Great replies from both, Thanks. Very early on we talked about where each of us could end up, she knows that I have no plans to move, yet she encourages me to search for job opportunities in other cities. This seems backward to me since the only reason to possibly move would be for her, but she doesn't know where her job could be. Or is she thinking that we could be together anywhere but here, she could go to where I am when she graduates? "if she's as smart as she sounds she's thinking the same thing as you." - great advice, I'll have to remember that.

[QueenofCorona]

She might need to get her travels and exploring out of her system and could very well decide that none of that matters anymore and you want to be with the person who makes you happy. Happened to one of my best friends. She went and saw the world and decided the right place for her was a rural Minnesota farm town, population 480 and was lucky enough to rekindle things with her ex and they are now happily married.

[IndiReloaded]

It would be very selfish of you to expect (or even suggest) your GF give up her chances for success to stay with you. Sounds like she may outgrow you soon. Grow with her, or let her go. Good luck.

[wendit]

Thanks queen and indi, you both have respectable opinions about the situation. I don't want to be the one holding her back from her aspirations, I care about her too much for that. I am not a selfish person, I just feel that it is selfish on her part to ask me to give up so many ties and start someplace fresh, when she really doesn't care where she is placed when college is over. I feel that she could be completely successful here, (i think there are elementary schools in the area), at least I was educated somehow. I would give up my work in a heartbeat if I knew that we could be together, but I have such a tough time thinking about being away from what I have known on this earth for the past 24 yrs. I hate that she has such an ease to moving around, while I hate the thought of moving. The weird part about this situation is that she has known me for over a year before we started dating. I had no idea that she was interested in me, and I always assumed that she was out of my league. I can't help but think that she knew what I was about long before we ever started dating.

[IndiReloaded]

Good luck. Its not about giving up anything, its about what is best for her (and your) personal growth. You will have loads of time later to settle down and make choices/sacrifices when you have a family. Right now, you should both pad your nest as best you can.

[noralkk]

Sounds like u have little in common, if u do love each other, u can sacrifice for the other side, so maybe doing what comes naturally