First off id like to say hi to everyone as im new here. Hopefully i can learn a good bit, but for now here is my contribution in hopes of finding some answers and insight !
(ps: i know its a bit long of a read but some backround history was necessary)
Everything began in high school. seeing her around I developed a deep crush for her that was only further fueled by her own actions. Constantly gazing deep into my eyes, shyness whenever I was around, trying to bump into me on some ocassions when around her friends, even seemingly following me around during lunch time just to get that extra look, ah what good times ! As I probed about her I learned she was very religious (believe it) and had very strict parents aside from the fact she was really into her school (now an engineering major at a top university) Needless to say I was turned down by her friends (keyword) on the same basis. Heartbroken and saddened at her mixed signals I moved on and on to College.
The girl in question we'll name Janet, for the sake of privacy and respect. During College I learned a good friend had finally engaged and was ready to get married to guess who.....Janet's good friend (even best friend) ! When the wedding finally came around sure enough she was there too and this time rather adamant in her feelings. Immediately she bumped into me smiled and as I looked back shes still there looking at me in a shy tone. Later on as I go to congratulate the newlyweds a friend of hers that was sitting at Janets table next to her unexpectedly comes up within inches and starts video taping me (!) Taking a glance back I see Janet with her head down a bit stroking her hair and i knew it was on her command, flattery at its best
A few days after the wedding I get a call from my newlywed friend, after some regular chatting he claims Janet was talking about me with her friends and that he would ultimatey "hook us up". Finally after some time i got a call for a get together but was unable to go. Well ill be honest I was and am VERY shy and gave an excuse for not making it. (oh brother) Although a friend who did go had a revelation for me, after telling her I was coming she said "oh, i didnt even dress up" Some months passed and I got anther inivtation to their house knowing she would be there too. I came through finally and everything went well, again catching her glances, crossed legs & feet pointing at me, and a smiling glow with every word. Everything went great (or seemed so) That night and a few days later I got another call from my friend saying how she was asking his wife (her good friend) if i still had a crush on her ! Approximately a month later I got a call from my friends wife (janets friend) that she had a date for me and to pick a restaurant accordingly. i was pleasantly suprised and exctatic, but yet two months passed and nothing transpired.
Upon visiting their house again two months later her friend claims that in the next two or three weeks that date will happen, just that as of late shes been busy with her newborn and Janet is still busy with school, no problem ill wait i told her and myself. and again nothing, two more months would pass and i would decide to take things into my own hands, calling my friends wife and letting her know of my impatience (well not in those words) she said ok, shed call her and get back to me.
Well she did, and to my suprise and with a bit of paraphrasing had this to give me as an answer from Janet: "basically her thing is shes too busy with school and work. she doesnt want to lead you on bevelving thers going to be a relationhip because she has no time for one and is not ready. she barely has anytime for her family and her sister too.i did ask her though if she was seeing anyone and she said no. she also said she was really flattered.
Now I was dustraught and devasted hearing this, i didnt know what to make of it either. I do know and understand she really is busy with her life (or maybe the easy way for an excuse?). I also know she wouldnt lead me on for so long and invovle her married friend either ! it doesnt suite her morals and who she is. So essentially my question is what now ?
What course of action do I have ? Time to get in tough with reality and accept she never did have any interest ? (truly mindboggling but a real possibility i guess) Understand and cope with the fact that shes busy but that she *MAY* have left a bit of a window open in the future with the flattered/not seeing anyone comments ?
Any help would be much appreciated