dumped for cheating..long* (prefer 4 girls responses)

[firmjerm]

ok so i messed up my damn life and i feel like a pig. i got dumped for the second time for something that happened once. i had sex w/ my ex while i was with my GF and i admitted 2 it the next day, she dumped me and maybe a month later she got back together with me. so things were obviously not the same and i could tell; in talking w/ me she would be short and impatient and be rude but play it off like shes kidding...anyways about a week ago she decided that it was a problem and she noticed herself doing that to me. so she broke it off again because she is "subconsciencally still mad 4 cheating" and it came out in her attitude towards me, she wants to be with me but not like that...happily. so i broke down and decided to have sex w/ my ex again (the one i cheated on her w/) and ive done it twice already w/in the past 3 days... and knowing me, if my recent ex decides shes ready 4 me i will tell her sometime soon after about who i slept with. will she hold it against me and be mad and maybe even cut me off for good or is it ok? WTF do i do?!?! i want her back dammit, but apparently im not going to hold off sex w/ people and wait for to decide.

[brkn dreamz]

you shouldn't of had sex with your ex in the first place. I probably can relate to how your gf feels at this point. if you done it once you can do it again. And you did even if you weren't with your gf. To me, it's like you run to your ex everytime apparently for sex. If I was your gf I wouldn't trust you. I'm being real here and if you want her back you shouldn't be having sex with other people. Wouldn't you expect the same from her? If this situation was turned around... how do you think you would feel?

[bluesummer]

Oh yes, she is definately NOT going to be happy if you tell her you did it again. It's not going to be ok. I'm sorry to be harsh, but I think this relationship is over for good, my friend. I would be disappointed in HER if she went back to you after this. I understand you may care for her, but your heart is obviously not completely in this relationship if you can

A) Cheat on her, and then
B) Sleep with the same chick you cheated on her with, right after she breaks up with you for CHEATING

My guess is you have some unresolved feelings for this girl you keep sleeping with, and you need to seriously deal with those. Honestly, you are very fortunate your gf came back to you after you cheated on her. Let her move on, for both your sakes.

[Junket]

Do you mind if I call you a dumbass?

[firmjerm]

well damn that hurts...ok so even if i did something drastic to prove myself worthy im still screwed? (not so blunt and painfull this time, please)

[bluesummer]

I'm sorry. But if you were my bf, I'm afraid you'd have screwed it up for good when you cheated. But if for some strange reason I decided to take you back, if I found out about this I'd likely never speak to you again. There'd be no chance of fixing things.

My guess is, there's nothing you can do.

Now, as for this girl you keep sleeping with....why do you keep going back to HER in particular? What is the story there?

[firmjerm]

well bluntly she was my first and shes easy.

[bluesummer]

Oh....I see. I'm just wondering though, what about her was worth jeopardizing your relationship over. I mean, from the sounds of things, she doesn't mean a helluva lot to you.

[firmjerm]

no, she doesnt mean much to me anymore. i cant think of anything right now that means anything to me. what if i swore off sex for a long time...am i worthy. i just want her to be happy, and i want to be that person to make her happy. if she would be happy, i would be happy. i just want her back

[bluesummer]

But you know what....would you really be happy? I don't mean to be stereotypical, but every guy I know that's cheated says/does the same thing.

"I'm sorry baby, she didn't mean anything, I'll do anything to get you back....I'll never do it again..."

And as much as they try, inevitably, there's a fight and in 'the heat of the moment' he runs out and cheats again. And the cycle repeats. Someone's got to end it. If you love her, do you really think it's fair to her that you may put her through that again? You say you want to be the person that makes her happy, but look at things realistically: all you've done so far is hurt her. Why do you think that you can change this all of a sudden?

[firmjerm]

all i want is a chance, so it is stereotypical. but tell me, how long do i need to go without sex (even if she took me back) to prove myself worthy. so if she were to say, ex. "hey, i think we can try this again" and i said, "yes, i agree. but theres something you have to know, i had sex with her again not thinking it was a big deal. so to prove im worth it im going to show you i can go (days* months*) without it any sex". will this work?

[Ellynn]

No NO and NO.........

If you really liked this girl....you would have never cheated on her....(especially with someone who means nothing to you). Then if you confess you slept with your ex just days before trying to get back with her....honestly it makes you look even worse.

I think if I were that girl....I would not be able to trust you ....EVER again.

No amount of time without sex....would make me think any different. Once a cheater..always a cheater.....

Next time you get into a relationship with someone.....keep in mind how you messed this up. Then maybe you will learn that monogomy is the way to go.....if you want a relationship..... IF you want just sex....then have just sex....and avoid relationships altogether.....(this seems to sound more like your cup of tea....unless you really are serious about changing.)

Sorry its brutal....but maybe..JUST maybe.....this will teach you a little something about a relationship and what NOT to do.

[Only-virgins]

Your not her BF, things that you do are not things a BF does to his GF. Your just some jerk off fawking your EX and faking that your sorry for it. Also if you have any care for her feelings at all then you will tell her...I have a feeling you wont.

"hey, i think we can try this again" and i said, "yes, i agree. but theres something you have to know, i had sex with her again not thinking it was a big deal. so to prove im worth it im going to show you i can go (days* months*) without it any sex". will this work?

No it will not. She is going to be way to emotional inside( if she likes you) to care about some pathetic attempt at a deal like that.

[Airborne]

That was extraordinarily stupid.
If you really wanted to be with her why are you going around sleeping with your ex?

[Illusional]

umm.... are you serious that you still want to be with your current ex?? you cheated on her twice, shouldn't that say something? well i will give you two options, either you're a slut and don't really care about your ex gf... or you're just dumb and didn't really think that it would turn out like this, again.

raverboy