My boyfriend doesnt trust me and I dont know why?

[lilxcutie53]

Hey! So i've been on here before, but I havent posted in the longest time.. So i've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. The first couple months of the relationship was really rocky. I really liked him and I felt like he didnt like me at all. He kissed another girl 1 month in at the bar. I forgive him for it, but it was a hard. SInce then our relationship has been fine, but lately. my boyfriend has been upset and told me he doesnt trust me at all. He thinks I dont try at all in the relationship and its very frusturating, because I dont know what I have done to cause distrust. I'm always available..always willing to hang out, hardly have any guy friends and If I do, their his friends. I NEVER go out to the bars with friends. I DONT DO ANYTHING. So I don't know what the issue is here. When I asked him why he doesnt trust me, he really didnt have an answer.

He was in a relationship when he was like 15 and his ex cheated on him so that probably stems from it, but I don't know what to do. We haven't had sex yet, because Im not ready.. I'm a nun compared to my friends. Now, I dont know how to act or what to do to earn his trust...

Any suggestions? I dont know how long I can stay in this relationship if hes always going to be like this...

[HopeYouGetThis]

Unfortunately, I have been in a relationship like that. The woman I was dating didn't trust me even though I never gave her a reason not too. It stemmed from past relationships where they have been cheated on, as well as insecurities within themselves. What you need to figure out is how much you really want to be with this person, and if they're worth the trouble. If so, you'll just have to be supportive and help them overcome these issues.

[reeba]

Sometimes they are reflecting their own behavior onto you. If they blame you for cheating, it can because they are cheating themselves. It makes them feel better if they somehow convince themselves that you are just as guilty as them.

Also sometimes people try to pick a fight when they aren't happy. Looking for a reason to get out of the relationship.

But back to your problem that he is accusing you of being untrustworthy. He is totally controlling you. In order for you to try to appear trustworthy, you have given up all of your life, and walking on eggshells. And dispite that, he still is calling you untrustworthy.

I say time to get out of the relationship.

[lilxcutie53]

yeah. Its just hard because I have more of a reason not to trust him. I mean hes lied to me a couple of times and he cheated on me at the very beginning of the relationship and he doesnt always give me motivation to want to try harder. Everytime I've told him how i've felt about something or the way im being treated he rolls it over his shoulder..and now hes telling me he doesnt trust me and wants me to change? In all honesty, I care about him a lot, i've never cared for someone so much, but at the same time I feel like he doesnt even deserve me trying to prove myself to him..

[lilxcutie53]

Sometimes they are reflecting their own behavior onto you. If they blame you for cheating, it can because they are cheating themselves. It makes them feel better if they somehow convince themselves that you are just as guilty as them.

Also sometimes people try to pick a fight when they aren't happy. Looking for a reason to get out of the relationship.

But back to your problem that he is accusing you of being untrustworthy. He is totally controlling you. In order for you to try to appear trustworthy, you have given up all of your life, and walking on eggshells. And dispite that, he still is calling you untrustworthy.

I say time to get out of the relationship.

I used to feel like I was walking on eggshells...until I stopped feeling guilty for the things that I would do that would upset him. And it wouldnt even be anything bad. He would get mad if I didnt want to go the pool with him or if I didnt want to sleep over or something. And I just learned that it was his own issues and not mine. and honestly, maybe your right about him blaming me for his guilty conscience, but who knows...

How this started was that I told him at last minute I was going on with my friends to the bars. He was upset tat I didnt invite him and told him last minute. I didnt even think that it would piss him off telling him last minute. He told me it sounded sketchy because we haven't had sex yet and that he thinks i want to go there to find some other guy to sleep with, which is NOT the case. But he also hasn't told me he love or where our relationship is going.. I'm 22..im at a point where Im just not going to give myself to someone if its not going to go anywhere...so thats why we havent had sex..