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Thread: I feel like my life is falling apart...

  1. #1
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    I feel like my life is falling apart...

    My fiancee and I have been together for almost 5 years. We met when we were kids. His mother and my mother worked together. Lately he’s just been very distant and we’ve been arguing a lot and usually about little petty things. We were talking about planning our wedding but that has come to a screeching halt. He used to tell me all the time how he couldn’t wait for me to be his wife and now we just don't talk about it. His ex (mother of 2 of his daughters) has always been a thorn in our sides for the entire duration of our relationship. She would call him, text him all the time telling him she wants him back, post fake stuff on Facebook about him, etc. She would text me that he was with her when he was at work, that he doesn't love me, that she knows he's going to leave me for her and throw me out, etc. 6 months ago she got with her current boyfriend and he told her he wouldn’t put up with her always trying to contact my fiancee unless there was a problem with the kids. Now she goes out of her way to tell my fiancee how happy she is, how she’s never been in love like this before, posting on Facebook how her new man is her world everyday, making her boyfriend a Facebook and posting the same stuff from his (my fiancee is friends on Facebook with her boyfriend), etc. Lately she’s been making up excuses surrounding the kids to call my fiancee and always stays off topic of the kids into her relationship or ours. Also I just found out my dad is sick. He’s going to have to have major surgery on his heart and his kidneys are possibly failing. I feel like my entire life is falling apart. I know that I've been stressing very badly about my fathers health, but I've been trying hard not to take it out on him. Why is he being so cold? Why did the wedding planning stop? Will we make it through this? Will we get married? Why is she going out of her way to tell him about her life? If she’s so in love with her boyfriend why does she even care about our relationship? I feel so overwhelmed right now Anyone have any advice for me on how to deal with his ex, her boyfriend, my fiancée?

  2. #2
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    She is a nasty bitch and probably mentally derailed and always will be. You either learn to ignore her or she'll always give you a hard time.

    Your boyfriend seems too soft and permissive since she only learnt to respect some boundaries when her boyfriend imposed them. If your boyfriend doesn't support you enough, you'll never be able to face these problems on your own.

    You need to learn to communicate to him when you need more of him or you might find yourself very unhappy and putting up with things just the way they are and with his vicious ex most of the time and this shouldn't be the plan for you.

  3. #3
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    His ex will always be a part of his life, the kids are the knot that ties them together. Her lack of maturity is something that you need to deal with, and trust your fiancé that he isn't with her, and dealing with it the best he can. I recommend you block her number, delete her off your facebook, and let him take care of that situation. You have no reason to be involved.

    As for that way he is acting, there is likely a part of this story you haven't told us yet. Did you have a big fight or dramatic event that might have put him off? Have you been nagging him endlessly? Any ridiculous ultimatums? (IE "You have to choose her or me") Because when kids are involved that aren't yours, you'll lose every time. These things can turn someone cold over time, so it might be time to dig in to it, because it likely isn't related to his relationship with his ex, but perhaps to the way you yourself has dealt with it.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

  4. #4
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    Dump him and focus on your family for now. Tell him if he wants to be supportive and get back on track then to contact you. He's hung up on his ex in some way still, so give him a chance to figure that out on his own. No reason he needs to talk to her about anything other than the kids or to be friends with her boyfriend on facebook.
    Last edited by BackUpOrGetStng; 03-09-13 at 07:48 AM.

  5. #5
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    Facebook is so stupid. If u and your fiancé were smart you would either delete the drama infested website from your life or block people that make it a negative experience.
    Your dad and family is most important right now. Your fiancé should of reported her for harassment a long time ago! They should of had a third party person handling child swapping or discussions about the kids since she can't handle herself in a mature manor. So sad so many sick women have kids. It's not your fault he has turned so cold. Ask him what his problem is or leave him

  6. #6
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    You're blaming her (his ex) for the style of communication between them but it takes two to communicate. He clearly has not discouraged her enough.

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