I'm so confused by his behavior!!!! Please help!

[Lavender]

I'm at my wits end and need help understanding what's going on in his head! I'm pretty sure shy guy likes me. He has all the classic signs, always seeking me out and asking me lame questions and looking for excuses to be around me, makes either direct eye contact or down to flooor, has come to a couple of parties I invited him to even though he is not a party person. Anyways, we were at a movie night at a friends house and we both live around the same area so Iasked him casuallly if he would walk with me, he said sure and we left the house and we didn't even get to the end of the block when all of a sudden he saw a friend of his (a guy)drive by on his motorbike , he stopped to say hello and than all of a sudden he says Can I hop on and get a lift? Next thing I know, Poof! He was gone with barely a goodbye. I was shocked and hurt and confused! I didn't see him for a bout a week after that and when I do see him now he is back to his thing of looking for excuses to come over and ask me something or do something with me....like hes trying to make sure we are ok...Please help me. What do i do with this? Is he interested? Why does he keep seeking me out and making efforts to get closer and when we do finally he runs away!!!

[vashti]

Wow - I am not very often surprised by the twists a story can take, but this time I was!

This guy might just be socially retarded and didn't comprehend how stupid this move was. Knowing this, if you pursue a relationship with him, keep in mind he will require a lot of training and ask yourself if you are really interested in taking on that role. You may begin to resent having to teach him how to behave like a man when you begin to feel like his mommy.

If you decide to NOT pursue a relationship with him, I wonder if there is any way you can let him know exactly how absurd his behavior was in as nice and gentle a way as possible. This boy needs some direction!

Anyway, I think he probably DOES like you, if that is all you really wanted to know...

[Only-virgins]

When I read the motorbike part I sort of just set there in my chair, staring at the computer screen for a while in silence....knowing very well that this guy, who ever he is, just made ALL men look retarded. I don't know but there is something wrong with a guy who prefers to be cuddling with a dude on a bike(Two guys+one bike=****ing gay). Seriously, I don't know what to tell you because if I was a chick I would be ****ing confused as hell too. He doesn't sound to shy to me though, I was shy and trust me being shy prevents you pretty much from going to parties that may have the girl you like present, trying to talk to her, and get into contact with her...because being shy is a type of fear. The bike thing though.....meh...I say run...sounds like he will always pick his buddies before you and leave you standing out in the cold.

[Lavender]

You guys are great! I was loling reading both your posts!!! There is history behind this but this is the latest that happened...in the end I'd like to know if he is interested just to know how to deal with him when I see him. My behavior around him would be a bit more compassionate(I don';t want to hurt his feelings no matter what)depend on whether on not he behaves like this b/c he likes me and doesn't know how to deal with it.I'djust like to know the score. Any other opinions out there?

[vashti]

Are you romantically interested in him?

[Lavender]

Yes, Other than the fact that he acts weird around me,he is extremely intelligent and has a great personality that comes out around everyone but me and he is hot!!! I'd just like to know why he acts around me the way he does, like how much easier and more patient can i be? And why does he keep looking for lame reasons to talk to me if he runs away as soon as we are in an intimate situation?

[Only-virgins]

He likes you. I remember high school days, I liked a girl and I could act normal around everyone but around her I would become nervous and all logic and reasoning went out the window. So on that though, try not to make fun of him or even point it out...if that is what it is ...because that is what the girl I liked did and it really hurt me and pushed me away...a shame because I would have done anything for her. I don't know if he likes you though or if he is in love with his motorbike buddy though.....tread carefully *evil eyes look around*

[Lavender]

Thanks! That sound like him, he just doesn't know how to talk to mewhich is weird b/c I see him flirting with girls sometimes but I don't think it goes anywhere.I just can't get why he can't flirt with me like a normal person? I've tried so hard to make myself approachable.I invited him to a couple of get togther/parties and both times he came. Whenever he see me with my baby nephew he comes and starts tickling him while he is on my lap so whats up? And the big question is why did he run away from me like that?Did he have a panic attack or something?

[misombra]

that was pretty stupid of him. i'd take it as a sign read: this guy is going to do a bunch of stupid shit.

[anachronistic]

you probably make him very nervous... he may have shat his pants and when he saw his friend, it was his scapegoat.

[meerkat]

He left you to walk home late at night on your own..silly move

[Gigabitch]

that was pretty stupid of him. i'd take it as a sign read: this guy is going to do a bunch of stupid shit.

Exactly. Someday, you'll look back on all of this and ask yourself, "Why didn't I just walk away after the first thoughtless, hurtful thing he did, way back in 2007 when he jumped on his friend's motorbike and left me standing on the corner like a chump?"

IMO, if you want this guy to do better, you have to do the equivalent of smacking him on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. I don't think it would be a mistake to ask him straight up, "What the **** were you thinking, riding off with your boyfriend like that?"

[CAM]

He likes you. He's screwed up mentally/emotionally.

You'll probably see him on the 11 o'clock news in about 20 years.

[asinglelovenote]

be careful.