Need help with an affection based on-line homosexual 'relationship'

[pbean]

Well I have no idea how serious this forum is and whether my thread will get trolled to hell or if I will actually get some useful replies and suggestions. However this has been in my head and I really need to ask about this.

I'm a guy and a few weeks ago I met some other guy online. We've been friendly to eachother, just chatting a bit and being generally nice to eachother. However lately things have gone into a slipstream after about a week ago we expressed to eachother that we actually had feelings for eachother, although we couldn't quite identify those feelings yet.

A few days ago we got to the subject where we discussed in what way we liked eachother and whether we were actually gay or that this was just a strong friendship. We both get the feelings in our stomach when we chat and we feel very strongly about eachother. However I read that homosexuality or bisexuality only applies to physical attraction, but we both are only physically attracted to girls, at least that's what we think.

Last night it all went out of hand and we 'cybered'. Before that he wondered if anything could happen to us and I said something like "well maybe we could cyber lol" (jokingly) but he actually thought that was a pretty good idea. By that time we both had a hard-on so we went and 'cybered' up to a point where we both came.
Afterwards we discussed again what this would mean. If this would mean if we were in a relationship now, or that it was just having some fun.

I really don't know where this is going or what is happening. Sure, I've had some basic gay feelings before, but only affectionate... sexually I'm pretty much heterosexual. He maybe wants to 'cyber' next time with a webcam and microphone to make it more intimate. We live in other countries, but still not far away and it has been going through my head to just go and visit him. My attraction to him really makes me want to hug and cuddle him, though on the other hand I'm quite appaled by the fact that we're both men. Additionally, I'm known to be somewhat on the 'ugly' side (a bit overweight, not that hot, etc) and he's supposed to be quite 'hot'.... but the weirder thing is we haven't even seen pictures of eachother yet.


I'm afraid for me this is just a case of lust since all my attempts at relationships with females have failed (even so badly that I've never even HAD a relationship) and that my insecurity and him being nice just bring up faux feelings. On the other the feelings and the 'butterflies' ARE present.

Do you have any suggestions, or tips, or similar experience or whatever for me to help me out to figure out where I stand, what I'm actually feeling and how I should handle this.

One part of me tells me to just get a grip and 'dump' him and go on with my (failed but heterosexual) life while another part tells me to embrace this and see where it goes. I'm torn.

[Junket]

You don't need to be one or the other, so let that aspect of your conflict go.

These silly labels will only constrain and frustrate who you are.

This isn't about whether you're gay or bi, or whatever, the matter at hand is whether or not this is a relationship you want to pursue with this person.

Honestly, if it's on-line? It doesn't have much of a chance.