How do you get over a girl fast?

[1337lizard]

So I have this issue gentlemen. I don't know how to be an ass and not give a damn. So I need some advice.

Quick background - dated a girl for over a year (intense relationship, first love, etc.), broke up, she's now dating another guy but playing both fields and saying she's going to leave him for me (yeah I know she's not, that's why I need to get over her).

And before everyone starts making suggestions, I've already tried hooking up with another girl. Didn't work. I just felt incredibly guilty the entire time and afterwards too (I was already broken up at this point so no, I didn't cheat) and ultimately I still had feelings for her. Also, I'm stuck in a lease with her for next year so I can't just block her from my life. We're working together on a lot of stuff to do with the house so being a dick is just going to make my next year a living hell.

So help me out, because I'm sick of being led around and having my emotions dragged through the mud.

[Doc Durian]

I was trapped in a lease with someone just like that. Tried to stick it out till the end but only managed 7 months with a dead bolt on my door and a bottle of whiskey each day to numb the senses.

The more I retreated, the nastier she got and paraded the new fellow around the house.

Liver couldn't handle the regime so I split and paid out the remainder of my half of the lease.

It was expensive, but boy oh boy, did it feel good to just walk away.

She later married the fellow, then cheated on him with his brother, contracted an STD, had another child, and was divorced in under 4 years.

You want to get over a girl?

**** her off any way you can.

[soulsurvivor23]

Trying to hook up with another girl for the sake of getting over her isn't right for you, or for the other girl (been there, done that). I think the question you ask in your thread title is impossible if you love the girl, especially for a first real love like you've described. You can get over her, but it certainly will not be fast. I would love to come on here and give you a reassuring answer of "do THIS and your heart will be free and clear" but i'm gonna do you one better and give you a straight answer. It's not gonna be easy, it's not gonna be fast, it will be painful at times, but I believe that in the end you will be able to get over it and be better off than your were before.

Getting with another girl and getting better yourself are two independent things. Bottom line is that if this just happened, you aren't really ready to be with another girl just yet. If anything just make female friends right now and take it real slow. The most important thing is to get yourself right by any means necessary. Whether that be going to the gym, or having some other kind of outlet like writing music, going out with friends, etc etc... Keep doing these things so that you don't spend too much time dwelling on your own thoughts. If she's with another guy, I think that at least for now the no contact rule is your best friend. I know how it can be when the girl you love is with someone else and saying she will leave him for you. It happened for more than a year with me and I stuck around all that time as the backup guy until I finally smartened up and realized she wanted the comfort of both without having to really choose one. Actions speak louder than words, and if she wanted to break up with him and get back with you, she wouldn't have just talked about it, she would've done it. So your job is to not let her have you anymore. Good luck bro.

[1337lizard]

Well I came up with an idea and I need to run it by you guys real quick. Now she's fooled around with me while dating her new guy and I figure I could probably get her to just stay away from me if I told him everything that was going on. The downsides are obvious, but the possible upshot is her staying away from me until we have to...ummm...live together. Fortunately all the people living with me are my friends more than hers. All of them have low opinions of her because she's so ****ing immoral. I don't know, what do you guys think?

[soulsurvivor23]

Please do not do it.... I was in the exact same situation. I fooled around with my ex while she was with her bf.. and in fact in my case it was even worse because her bf lived hours away from her so most of the time I was the only one there in that place. But trust me, telling the bf will not make her be with you, not in the short term, not in the long term. All it will do is make her lose trust in you and make her unhappy. I know you probably won't follow this advice but if I were you, knowing what I know now, I would just tell her, the stuff that's happening between you and I ends today unless you choose me and only me. And if not, I don't want to be in your life anymore.. If she decides that she really wants you to be there in the long term, at that point she will let you know. And if she decides she'd rather keep the guy she's with right now, then you move on knowing it was never meant to be.

[OneQuestion]

leave her now... I can tell you from experience if you get back wth her, you will always resent her!

[1337lizard]

well that didn't work out quite the way I wanted it to. I sent the message and she is still trying to be friends with me while still dating him. I was kinda hoping she would continue being a bitch and I would just not want to talk to her.

So...the situation has literally not changed at all. It's like I didn't even send it. WTF!?

[Doc Durian]

well that didn't work out quite the way I wanted it to. I sent the message and she is still trying to be friends with me while still dating him. I was kinda hoping she would continue being a bitch and I would just not want to talk to her.

So...the situation has literally not changed at all. It's like I didn't even send it. WTF!?

Write, "Hear this: Friendship Dissolved - **** Off, Cunt" on a piece of paper, rubber band it around an air horn can and throw it in her yard late one night with the depress button permanently on.

Drive off, and change your phone numbers.