thinking about her again! - I just want it to stop!

[Perfguy]

Hey people,

How is everyone? I'm going to revisit a subject that is STILL bothering me that i'm tired of thinking about (I'm sure Gigabitch will chime in on this one...LOL). Basically, I'm still thinking about this girl I used to work with that really messed with my head. I left (was layed off) off from that job 4 months ago. I started a new job a few weeks ago. This is where the problem lies. Due to the nature of this new job, I still need to contact my old job. The same accounts are shared between both jobs. I worked with the new job when I was at the old job. Anyway, I've had to call the old job and it just so happens this girl is the receptionist! The ony way to call someone is to go through her. I've been quite "cold" towards her and just ask for the person I'm looking for. But, I'm sure she knows it's me. I'll get off the phone and I'll be shaking. I hate this! I almost feel I'm being punished by the man upstairs or something. Why do I still have her in my life?? How can I forget her when I still have to call? I'm just so angry at myself that after everything she did to me I still have feelings for this &#$$!!@ and still think of her everyday. I even have the urge to e-mail her, but I keep telling myself not to do it. We have mutual friends and the crap will start to fly if I did that. I think how lucky I would be to have her. This whole thing has made me sad and depressed. I just want to forget she even exists! I would be so happy if I had NO memory of her. I doesn't help that she cranked called me after I left - at least twice (possibly quite a bit more). It's kinda funny - this girl said she felt "threatened" by me (she actually cried while talking to the mgr) and said I was sending her personal e-mails (and this was after she asked my thoughts on love and I NEVER threatened her once) but yet she still crank called me....crazy chick.

So, my question is: what do I do? Does anyone know of a technique to wipe someone from your mind? I know part of the reason is I have no one in my life right now (broke up w/the ex) but I dont have the funds right now to join a website and/or chatline. Can anyone help??

[Illusional]

you pussy.. wait let me rephrase that.. you f*cking pussy... i won't give it you to all sugar coated like giga.. but are you serious? you're worse than some of the girls that i know...

so you can't get this girl out of your head... big deal?? she was in your past and now she's part of your present.. deal with it. being a dickhead to her won't change whatever bullshit happened between the two of you, but "MAN THE **** UP" as my friends would say. i dunno if you still want to be with her, or if you were the one that dumped her, but if she's not leaving your present any time soon, why don't you just try getting over the past and being nice to her? you don't have to kiss her ass, but just acknowledge that she's there and you're not bothered by it..

i don't really see how hard it is to be friends with your ex.. shiet, i honestly talk to the greater majority of them.. because i don't give a shit who hurt who.. i'm past all that bullshit.

raverboy

[Gigabitch]

WHAP!

That was me hitting you with a rolled-up magazine. Stop it, Perf! Stop it at once!

Go find somebody else! Not someone you work with, either.

And what do you mean you can't afford to join a website? What is LF, chopped liver? No, you won't find your next girlfriend here, but this place can certainly suck up lots and lots of time.

[Perfguy]

Illusional,

Just to clarify, we weren't together. We never went out. I ended up falling for her and we just flirted a little. At the beginning she was involved w/someone else (that she ended up breaking up with later). Later, I started seeing someone. It was my fault for starting the whole thing. I didn't know at the time she had a rep for manipulating guys just for attention. Hell, she even made one of the other girls cry by playing games with her BF. Although, call me crazy, I do think at some point during all this she actually did like me for a short period. I pretty much sacraficed my relatonship with my gf b/c of all this. I went as far as telling this girl I still was still into her even while I was with the gf. Pretty bad, I know. I felt really bad about that. The whole reason I am cold towards her is she made up a bunch of serious lies to try to get me fired. There is no way, as you suggest, that I can be friendly with her on the phone. Anyone in my position would act the same, probably worse! I'm actually being pretty nice, considering what she did.

Anyway, thanks for the advise (from both). It honestly does help. It helps to motivate me. I just need a little "booster" shot once in a while, esp. since I'm still dealing w/her. I just need to focus on finding that special person to make me forget :-). And hopefully, this girl will be layed off, as well.

[Perfguy]

Oh, and just to set the record straight, I did try to fix things with her by leaving her a very nice card/note when I left asking her if she would be willing to forget the past and repair the friendship. What did I get in return? A bunch of crank calls! Not to mention, she's been trying to influence mutual freinds to side with her by telling them what a bad person I am. So, no, I'm not going to act like nothing happened when I call....

[Perfguy]

Well, a quick update. I called my old job to speak to someone and acted the same way towards her, as I have for weeks. Well, this time she decided that she doesn't like me being cold to her (which she rightly deserved and my defense mechanism toward her) and refused to transfer me if I didn't start being nice to her! So, I guess she decided she wants to be on friendly terms and forcing me to be the same. The problem is, if I am nice to her, she'll complain about something else. It's her way of manipulating and controlling me. Next thing you know, she'll complain to the mgr (who will call my new boss) that I'm "harrassing" her b/c I'm being nice, just like she wanted. It's never ending with her. Why couldn't she just be content on me being cold and not talking to her. Why is she now changing the rules (again)? I think she really gets off on being able to control my emotions and making me do what she wants. As it stands now, I'm saying hi and asking how she is doing (and she asks how I'm doing), then I ask for the person I need to speak to. But later on, she will complain I'm harrassing her. This is her whole game. I can't tell my current boss about the situtation. I just started there. It's never ending.....

[Gigabitch]

It's never ending.....

Because you won't let it end.

You're not fooling anybody, Perf. We all know you didn't HAVE to talk to her. You could have found some other way to contact the person you wanted to speak to (e-mail? Cell phone?)

You need to sever ties with this insane woman.

[Illusional]

hahahaha... yes i am laughing at you... sorry did i laugh out loud??

alright, so there's this girl that i used to tate. we worked together at a restaurant and things got ugly..haha i tried to pull a steal and her bf also worked with us. to cut this story short, she left and a couple years later she came back only to have the same drama happen again. eventually i quit and i never look back on that day.

bottom line, if you want all this shit to stop, you can just leave it behind. however, if you're not willing to change jobs, then you're going to have to deal with this in a matter that i would suggest.

first, via paypal i would like to charge you $50 per hour and your bill will be for 30 mintues.

secondly, **** her... don't go believing her bullshit. once you got stabbed in the back and now she's making everything all nice nice with you?? f*ck that shit... i'd never kick her ass to the curb along with all the people that she is trying to turn against you.

raverboy

[tooxshort]

hahaha raver ... we both know the tragedy that happened with your coworker ...

Any Perf ... one of the things you should try to avoid is not dipping your pen in company ink ... especially one whom you have to call everyday anyway.

Plus, you never dated her, so neither of you hold obligations to be "friends" or whatever you want to call it. However, you MUST be civil about it ... is your job more important or the girl? I think it's time to relocate, buddy ...

[miSSleepy]

A`way to erase her from your head?
Get out more and meet other people. getting a life always works.


or you could just try self-induced amnesia. Go piss off someone carrying a baseball bat or something.

[dontknowhow]

get a new job.

[Illusional]

ahem that all that shit is over huh shorty?? i hate needy women.

raverboy