Help this guy has confused me so much

[Sarah_S]

Hello, this is the first time I register on this website and I don't know how it works exactly, but here is my story and maybe one of you could help me understand this guy more clearly.

So there is this guy at work that I spend a lot of time with and we have a lots of fun hanging out together. After several months I realized that I had a crush on him and I might have made a mistake but I told him. He does have a girlfriend tho so it was very hard for me to tell him cuz I just wanted to take it off my chest I guess but did not expect anything in return.

I told him last November. The first thing he said to me was that he thought that his relationship with his gf was solid but now that I told him I got a crush on him it made him rethink everything. So of course he also said some thing like "my situation is very complicated right now and if it was in the different context and my gf was not there? bla bla bla. Meaning I like you but I can't now and I can't do this to my gf cuz she would be devastated? bla bla bla. So after some very confusing 2 months and a half going back and forth between staying friends and or not. I finally came to the conclusion that we should just be friends since he clearly loves her and does not want to be with me.

To start fresh we decided to go for dinner one night and have a start the friendship from fresh again. But here is what happened: I just need to put some sense into this please help.
Sarah:
Are we still on for Thursday then?
or you won't make it?
John:
- hmmmm well see I was out over the weekend and I left my phone at home so I asked Lauren to read a message off my phone to get the address of my friends house and she saw (and read) some of your messages.... she then got really upset and we had a fight - I said we were friends but she wasn't very happy we were going for dinner just the two of us - Not sure what to do - cause I could just not say anything but maybe we could go out for lunch? My shout....
Sarah:
O
uhhhhhhhhhh
John:
haha - it was a bit like that
Sarah:
pfffffffffffffffff
I'm sorry really sorry
it's up to you
I guess
John:
Please don't be....
Sarah:
I'm so sorry
John:
You have nothing to be sorry about.
It was my fault for not taking my phone and I probably should have said something to her in the first place....you didn't do anything wrong
I sorted everything out so no need to worry
Sarah:
I really don't want to lose the relationship we have
John:
We won't at all
Sarah:
if you sorted it all then we could still go right
or...
I don't know
I'm just sorry
John:
Honestly please don't be sorry - like I said you haven't done anything wrong - you have been really good about the whole thing.
But might need to let the dust settle before we could have dinner together just the two of us - either that or I would maybe just have to omit certain truths
Which is why lunch out could be a happy medium in the short term.....
Sarah:
is she ok with you going to London
for work I mean
John:
Yeah - absolutely fine. I say we have lunch all the time and stuff and it was fine.
it is fine - i was in trouble cause I hadn't said anything
Sarah:
and you know I'm trying to have other friends around work to not spend too much time with you and make sure that you feel comfortable when you come to Reading.
I'm sorry again
OK
then
do you wanna go out for lunch
John:
I always feel comfortable around you... the more time the better in my books - haha honestly please don't be sorry
Yeah -
That will be absolutely fine
and so will dinner in time
just right now - it could be a little tricky
but lunch es parfait
Sarah:
alright lunch it's gonna be for now
John:
magnifique - sorry about the timing
I wanted to tell you in person because I know you will worry
but please don't - cause everything is ok. Me and you are cool!
John:
But honestly we could go Jamie's for Lunch... I think we only get a half hour break on this presentation course so it might be a bit tight this week but next week would be good - you think your boss would let you have an extended lunch
Sarah:
Yeah of course he is very flexible
no worries
I'm going to cancel the reservation for this week
John:
I could cancel it if you like?
Sarah:
Oh no worries
thanks tho
John:
Well thanks - and thanks for being so understanding.
Sarah:
well I really don't want to get you in any trouble you know. And since you are crazy in love with her, I don't want to cause you any problems
John:
You haven't caused any problems - like i said you've been great. It was my fault
Sarah:
I'm just a girl that had butterflies for you for sometime but she is your love
I want you to be happy
John:
hahah - and nightmare at the same time.
but its ok
no need for you to worry whatsoever
Sarah:
Alright I won't I trust you
John:
ok.....?
Sarah:
well I trust when you tell me that I should not worry
lol
John:
oh right - sure yeah don't worry at all hahaha

[Boisdevie]

If you could get to the point in a shitload fewer words and ask a precise question you might get a few helpful replies.

[Sarah_S]

No need to be aggressive, just don't answer.

[surfhb2]

Grow up Sarah and stop the " I just wanna be friends" bullshit. You're not friends and neither one of you want to be just friends....and you both know it

Youve made your position clear and he's not willing to accept it. Move and stop contacting this guy.

[basilandthyme]

He's got a girlfriend and your behaviour is very inappropriate. Do the right thing by his relationship and end contact with him.