Some thoughts about children

[kitty001]

This has been bugging me for a while. It seems like every guy I talk to has plans for a family someday, which includes children. I personally can't see myself having any kids...I've never been able to. I'm only 19 though, so do you think this will change?

I remember back in freshman year of high school, my biology teacher walked around the room during lab one day, asking what we each wanted to be. And then a girl goes "i want to be...a mom!" and i was just completely stunned. I could not believe that that could be someone's main goal in life. It just seemed so...lame, to be honest (SORRY if im offending any mothers on here, i dont mean to be rude!). Anyway, im not sure if this aversion to the idea of being a mother stems from my own family. I'm one of six children, and my mom spent most of her life taking care of us. She never worked or did anything fulfilling other than parenting. I feel somewhat guilty, actually, like I hindered her. I know it isnt my fault, but I think this subconsciously is the reason I detest the idea of having kids.. I dont want to be tied down. I want to travel, have an awesome career, do something more than just procreate.

But then again, as i already said...im only 19. Most women, it seems, start to desire children when they get a bit older, like late twenties/early thirties. I can sort of see myself adopting a child some day, to love them and teach them how to be a good person. But to have my own children...not only is the whole pregnancy/labor thing horribly painful and terrifying, I just think it's also kind of selfish to need to have your own biological kids when there are so many hungry people in this world already...

Im kind of afraid this may inevitably be the downfall of any relationship i get into...because, as i said, it seems most guys are dead set on having kids.

Another thing that irks me. I thought the correct way to do things was first find someone you truly love..and then you'd want to have kids with them as an expression of that love. But I've asked around, and most people seem to want kids because.."what else will i do when i get old?" or "i want to pass my genes on" or some other similar reason...it all just seems...so...wrong.

Ughhhhh there are a million other things i could rant about in regards to children.. >< am i just thinking way too much into this??

thanks for reading this, even.

[DoesntMatter]

I personally can't see myself having any kids...I've never been able to.

lol, the first time I read this, I read it like you meant "I've never been able to have kids"

[starbuck]

Kitty, you're only 19 so your opinion very well may change. The bottom line is, you don't have to make up your mind right now because you are way too young for that responsibility anyway. If you are dating a guy who is wanting to have kids with you now or even a few years from now, just tell him that it is way too early, and you're still considering it.

I don't think you're thinking way too much about it. Having kids is a big decision so it would be good to think about it eventually. And if you decide to have them or not, do it for your own reasons, not anyone elses.

[shh!]

I agree with Starbuck. Having kids certainly isn't for everyone, and it is good you are actually thinking about it rather than accidentally getting yourself knocked up. It's the kind of job that deserves some serious consideration, and besides, you are too young to be considering it now, anyway.

I DO want to point out though that raising children is - bar none - the MOST fulfilling thing a person (who is interested) can do. You need not feel sorry for your mother... most moms feel our children bring more joy than pain into our lives, and whatever sacrifices we make, we do willingly. And most of us can work in some traveling when the kids get a little older. As a mom, I find it "lame" that anyone could find anything more fulfilling or meaningful, no offense.

[starbuck]

I DO want to point out though that raising children is - bar none - the MOST fulfilling thing a person (who is interested) can do. You need not feel sorry for your mother... most moms feel our children bring more joy than pain into our lives, and whatever sacrifices we make, we do willingly. And most of us can work in some traveling when the kids get a little older. As a mom, I find it "lame" that anyone could find anything more fulfilling or meaningful, no offense.

My sister, whose pregnancy was unplanned, also says the same thing about motherhood. She says that when she looks at her daughter (who is about 6 months old), she not only sees her child, but also a newfound purpose in life that eclipses any other purpose she felt she had. It completely humbled her and she has no regrets about having her daughter. Her boyfriend is a really great dad, too. He is always right there to help her change diapers and feed the baby. I can't wait until they move back to the states, so that I can spend more time with them.

[shh!]

It really is a transformational experience... all the things you once thought important... gone. Nothing even comes close.

[Junket]

I don't want to be a mom, either.

[Dasein]

I was going to answer this post with my own experiences and have stopped myself.

All I can say is do what you think is right and follow your instincts. You may change your mind or you may not. Motherhood is a HUGE commitment and unless you want to then don't do it.

Society still has that judgemental thing of woman not wanting kids (I should know I have been at the brunt of it) but doing something because society dictates it is wrong.

I have the deepest admiration and respect for all mothers. It is the hardest job of all. It just isn't the job for everyone.

[NeoSeminole]

I don't want to have kids. It's not that I dislike them, rather I don't feel the desire to have any of my own. I don't see this changing either.

[Charlie Boy II]

I want to have lots of kids. By lots of different mothers.

[agatha]

I want to have lots of kids. By lots of different mothers.

lol!


Undecided if I want to have kids or not.
I got discourage when my classmate told me
about how to deliver a baby.

[Only-virgins]

I don't want to have kids. It's not that I dislike them, rather I don't feel the desire to have any of my own. I don't see this changing either.

Same
_________________

[Junket]

I'm with Charlieboy, ejaculating in as many different women as possible sounds good to me.

[Charlie Boy II]

Doesn't it sound grand? when it comes to the product of my DNA I want to have a sort of Milk Tray - all different flavours and combinations. A small army of Charlie Boys.

[misombra]

if i were a guy i would want to impregnate every female thing that was.