The way of approach

[sneakerlover]

Hi guys.

I'm a little undecided here. There's this girl which I'm attracted to, and who's in the same lecture hall with me. To be honest, everyone is interested in her, really. You can say that she's the prettiest girl in college.

Ok, we had been in the same lecture classes for about a year now(yeah, you can flame me now for my stupidity for not making my move). Through out the year it was the normal kind of days, you know, the I'm-not-so-stand-out days. But until the last semester, which is now, she began to give me eye contact. Numerous times. I'm not going to jump into the conclusion that she's interested in him but I would say that she notice me.

And also because of my stupidity gut-less self esteem, now, our college's most good looking guy made his move(finally). He IS the college's hottest guy, with good character, good fashion, and all that you can think of.

So now I'm pretty much doomed. But since it's the last semester and I may not see her again, I feel that I should at least do something. At least approach her and see if I could get the chance of getting to know her. And I think she's a shy girl. Considering she doesn't mix much with people except for her one friend which is pretty much pretty as well. After class, she would just rush right back home which render me not many chances, not to mention that there may be a language barrier. She's Chinese educated but I'm English educated.

I've read quite a lot of posts around here so I would like to know, which one would be the recommended approach? Should I walk up to her and invite her for dinner? Or just introduce myself and see if she responds.

Bare in mind that I'm an Asian living in Asia. Your help would be much appreciated.

[vashti]

I don't see what you have to lose by striking up a conversation. If it progresses reasonably well, then you can ask her to dinner.

[Gigabitch]

Don't ask her out to dinner if you know she has a boyfriend. I can't imagine any way that this could end up going well for you.

Introducing yourself is a good idea. No reason not to have a conversation, right? If you make a move on her, though, when you know she's already got someone else, it's a bit disrespectful of her, like you're assuming she would date other guys behind his back.

[vashti]

Oops! Does she have a boyfriend? I thought the other guy was just pursuing her...

[sneakerlover]

I don't think she has one. That 'hot' guy is pursuing her. I did see them talking to each other for a moment after class. But there isn't any clear signs of them in a relationship. They might be in a relationship though.

That's the weirdest thing about Asian. They just can't clear things up.(Chinese Ed I meant) lol

[Gigabitch]

Oh! Then go for it, man! Ask her out tomorrow!

[vashti]

Well, I'm back to my original advice, then. And actually, I am a little more fluid about the boyfriend/girfriend relationships, too. I don't see anything wrong with telling someone with a boyfriend that if they were single, you would have asked them out. (This applies only to BF/GF status - not to engaged or married.)

[sneakerlover]

Ok.

But what about the approach? As the title stated there.
If I approach her, how should I introduce myself? Direct approach saying "Hi, I'm _. I'm just wondering since it's the last semester, would you like to have dinner with me?"

or
"Hi, would you like to go for dinner? I mean since it's the last semester and I would like to get to know you."

She knows my name btw, I think.

[Gigabitch]

That's a pretty slick way of doing it, Vash. Respectful, yet completely clear about the attraction.

[vashti]

Ok.

But what about the approach? As the title stated there.
If I approach her, how should I introduce myself? Direct approach saying "Hi, I'm _. I'm just wondering since it's the last semester, would you like to have dinner with me?"

or
"Hi, would you like to go for dinner? I mean since it's the last semester and I would like to get to know you."

She knows my name btw, I think.

No - I think you have to make a connection first, or she will think you are too forward. Have a little conversation with her to build a small amount of trust and comfort - ask her how her classes are going, if she plans to go home over summer, what's her major, blah blah blah. If the conversation is friendly and you are engaging in actual dialogue, THEN ask her if she wants to have dinner with you sometime.

[sneakerlover]

I see. But how should I do that? I mean, since she's always in a rush back home. If I walk straight up to her then it's already quite straight forward.

Is this good?-

"Hi, I'm _. I heard that you'll be staying in this county for your degree. Where will you be going? (I guess she would be answering here? Let's say she said ABC.) Oh, ABC? I have a few friends over there in the same major that you're doing. (It depends whether she says anything.) I'm wondering if you would like to have dinner with me. I mean since after this we all should be going our ways, I would like to get to know you.(Her answer?)


Ok, what if she didn't want to answer my first question? Ask her if she wants to go for dinner with me?

and what if she says no after I ask her out? Write on a piece of paper stating the venue and time for the dinner and tell her 'if you change your mind'?

[Tedel]

I don't think so. First you need to be acquaintances. Then you can ask her out. Talk about any other thing for a while before asking her out.

[Gigabitch]

I agree. First things first. Have that initial conversation and tell us how it goes.

[Imsomeones]

you never know how the food tastes until you give it a try, isnt that what they say?

[Journey]

Ask yourself..what am I really attracted to about this girl. Her eyes, lips, smile, legs..whatever... Personality even...wow.

Then, find it in someone else.

Don't waste your time on some bird who is being pursued by every Tom, Dick 'n Harry. Its already gone to her head anyways.

Find that girl who has what you want...who's unrecognized, sitting in the corner.
Damn I wish I was still in school.