Don't know how to overcome my insecurities :(

[I Like Pie]

Hi

I have met this girl and she is older than me, and I think we connected pretty well because we talk to each other a lot, we have many interests in common and other stuff, we make a lot of eye contact too.

The problem is that I'm insecure about myself, I'm not good looking but I am a good guy and I don't know how to tell her how I feel, in one hand I feel like I should tell her and be ready for the consequences but on the other hand I feel like I should wait longer and get to know her better.

A Lot of my insecurities were caused my ex that really broke my heart.

What should I do?

[smackie9]

Don't express your feelings when you are not in a relationship....basically you are doing things backwards. Get to know her by dating her....ask her out. If she says yes then just let things develop on their own.

[MrsHis]

I totally agree with smackie. You should never discuss "the relationship" until it IS the relationship.

Go ahead and ask her out - to a movie, bowling, dinner, whatever. (I wouldn't ask her on anything super-romantic like a midnight picnic in the park ;-). ) Just see if any chemistry develops... if you guys end up holding hands, if she casually touches you, like resting her arm next to yours, whatever. Take it from there... slowly.

If you MUST make some kind of declaration ~ I'd stick to a sincere compliment and see how she reacts. (Just don't start with how HOT she is.)

As far as being insecure about your looks, I'm going to sound like a bit of a hypocrite here, because I've been obsessing over the same thing. But, for a little reassurance, here's a personal story of mine -

When I was in college I was dating a couple of guys. One of them was absolute the best looking guy I've ever seen anywhere other than the big screen, I kid you not. Chiseled, buff, blue eyes, black hair, dimples. The other looked, well - just normal, he was literally obese, plain hair, he wasn't ugly - he had clear skin, nice teeth, etc. Anyway, when it came time to choose a steady guy, I picked the average looking one. He wasn't as good looking, BUT he made me feel great. We laughed together, we talked about everything, he made ME feel pretty. He was someone I could see marrying. The other guy was fun to go to bars with, but he lacked substance.

Being a good guy will get you farther in the end than looking like Brad Pitt. Hang in there guy!