How much of a handicap is being an Asian male?

[Trimac20]

This may sound silly...I don't blame my 'race' or anything, I have other problems...

I'm a 23 year old fella whose never had a g/f or r/s before. I'm not bad looking, just thin and shy.

I feel most gals aren't into me right now, regardless of ethnicity...which I sort of understand, in today's shallow world. But if I buffed up, was confident etc, how much would my chances REALLY improve? Not to sound un-PC, but I don't look like a typical 'chink' - slanty eyes.etc.

Anyway, I'm actually really pretty race-blind. I wish it weren't an issue but reading stuff on the net it seems to be...I know there are a lot of girls out there who don't care, but sometimes we can pretend people are less race conscious than they really are. I don't even believe in races; they are concentrations of genes, but distinct groups.

I myself don't care what ethnicity a girl is. To be honest, I guess, I've been conditioned to find 'Western' beauty more appealing so I prefer that...actually the main reason I don't find Asian women as attractive is their personality, they are too hard to approach, shy.etc. And many of them are kind of nerdy and pale looking...maybe I'm sounding racist, and am somewhat of a hypocrite (I blame social conditioning haha, my sisters are the same)...nah, many of them are beautiful too, just as many Caucasian girls aren't, but to be perfectly honest I have these preferences I can't really change... Indeed I'm sort of picky with most girls in general tbh, but more on personality than looks...Anyway...

I live in Australia and am Aussie, so I don't think about it much, but I'm curious how the situation is in general in Western countries.

Thanks for input/advice.etc.

[Aeradalia]

I've been known to look at a few 'asian' guys... it's kind of nice having someone a little closer to my height.. ... but seriously, if a guy is attractive, I will certainly look... regardless of his race.

And even if there were to be a handicap because of race... such things can be overcome by confidence, personality, and dressing in a nice way (women do pay attention to men's clothing choices --- usually the obvious stuff --- sloppy vs. neatly dressed).

Might be best to not worry so much about stereotypes... and focus more on making you the best you can be -- improving your social skills, building your confidence, learning to be happy with who you are, having a friend with fashion sense (everyone has at least one of those.. ), and focus on attracting women who mix well with who you are --- not just base your choices on their appearance, or stereotypes.

[NeoSeminole]

it's a pretty big handicap. I've heard girls say they are attracted to white guys, black guys, and Hispanic guys but never Asian.

[bluesummer]

I'm physically attracted to guys of any race, including asian. I live in a very multicultural city with a huge amount of Asians and Indians, and there are definitely attractive representation from all!

I think however, non-asians have this belief that asians themselves are sort of racist and that their parents don't approve of them dating outside their culture, and they don't want to deal with that drama.

I had asian girlfriends in school, and their parents barely spoke English. My friends told me their parents referred to me as 'the white girl' instead of by my actual name. Kind of makes the process of dating an asian guy unattractive, strictly for cultural reasons.

[Sonrisa]

God knows I love my asians!

[Aeradalia]

it's a pretty big handicap. I've heard girls say they are attracted to white guys, black guys, and Hispanic guys but never Asian.

Slap these 'girls' for me.. will ya?

Asian is just another of the world's flavors --- nothing wrong with sampling or indulging.

I was raised up a military brat... other than my parents... the first people I remember weren't white. I've met people of many different races throughout my life --- childhood included.

Attractive is still attractive, regardless of which race the good-looking person happens to be. Besides... increases your odds of finding love if you're not excluding the other races in your quest.

[glow]

it's not a handicap unless you let it be. i'm currrently actually into an asian guy, but it has nothing to do with that. i'm race blind as well.
a lot of it could just have to do with where your from because i'm a city girl who's lived in a big one all my life and they are all the same in that the younger generation of us is oblivious to race, it gets to a point where you see what you're attracted to and not which has more to do with style than anything else.
a lot of this is just going to depend on your age group, where you live, and how you rock what you have.

[DoesntMatter]

I think Asian guys are hot, and I'm white

[Lipp]

Well, I'm in Melbourne at the moment so it's definitely dependent on society. Back in Sweden I reckon that being asian would be a plus, few around there so it's a bit "exotic", but over here it's almost a 60/40 split between westerners and asians, so you don't stand out as much.

Unfortunately I think that your preference, while being understandable, does hamper you. While white guys get along with asian girls (which is my situation) I think that it's far less common for white girls to hang out with asian guys.

Why? I think that generally the appealing asians are still quite culture-oriented (Anime-like hairstyles, dressing up differently, less pub culture, and language level differences), which is why white girls tend to not get together with 'em nearly as often.

That and personally I prefer asian girls here (yes, many are shy, plain or annoying, but there are quite a few gems too), while the white girls can be the counterpoint but still not really better since they're more shallow, in a bit of a routine and ingrained into the drinking/partying culture where asian guys dont blend in and are accepted quite as easily.


Everyone has their own preferences.

[Illusional]

from what i've heard about austrailia, women there desire the men with darker hair and black eyes because that is exotic to them. i've also heard that they love men from hawaii.

anyhow, i don't feel that you being asian is a bad thing.. f*ck, i'm all asian and i don't have problems with the women, besides their bitching. anyhow, i also don't live on the mainland, as you can see i'm from hawaii. hawaii is probably more relaxed when it comes to cultural diversities.

raverboy

[Trimac20]

Thanks all, I hope what you say reflects reality more than my paranoid delusions ;-). I suppose I've been scratching my head wondering why my luck with online dating is so dire, and why I often feel invisible in clubs, pubs.etc. I know it's mostly not a 'race' thing, but you can't help but think of all the possible reasons. I guess I just need to do the things any guy should. Perth people are pretty conservative, so maybe I'd have more luck if I moved to a bigger city like Sydney or Melbourne? I'm a bit of an arty intellectual - not so much in the way I dress or behave, my in my interests. I'm just as happy to go to the footy and have a few cold ones at the local, so I don't fit into any stereotype.

[Fatal_End]

The world is changing, and diversity is becoming more common ground than ever.

To be honest, I'm probably like you in terms of looks and being asian. But you know what? It all comes down to attitude.

Are you shy? Or you maybe have a serious face a lot? Because most "western" girls I've talked to say that asian guys look either uninterested or intimidating. Yet, if you muster up the courage to just talk to the girl, smile, make eye contact, any man can get any woman. No joke. Lighten up, smile, go up to a girl and talk, joke, etc. Girls are impressed by you if you have the guts to talk to them in person face to face, unless you are annoying/they don't like you.

Every race is handicapped; black, hispanic/latino, indian, asians, whatever. Also consider that you may be limiting yourself with your pre-conceptions. If you really like a girl, then you wouldn't let a handicap like being asian stop you from getting the girl you want.

Also, as an advice, I will tell you now to stop caring about your looks/trying to distinguish the diff between a "normal, slanty-eyed chink" and a "decently-looking asian dude". Wtf is a that going to do, change some girl's mind into liking you because of that? No, a girl will decide for herself if she's attracted to you, but a girl doesn't need a good-looking guy that is shallow and unkind.

You need to step it up and not be an asian, but be a cool guy who is asian, if you know what I mean.

[BrokenPieces]

I myself have an Asian boyfriend, and I'm white. So - speaking for myself at least - I don't see it as a handicap.

[lastwish]

I think shy asian guys are cute. But they really need to dress nice...I'm serious.

[Illusional]

maybe you yourself are hanging around places that don't really care to be around asian people. a change of scenery might be what you need.

raverboy