Seriously, What Goes Through A Man's Head When......

[montanamommy]

Alrighty, let me start out by saying that I truly love my boyfriend. I've known him for over 20 years, and we've "officially" been together for about 7 months now, even though our contact previous to our dating was frequent and daily...multiple times a day. I've liked him for many years, and he's liked me for a while, too. I was so excited to start a relationship with him, because he's a great man and an excellent father. I just love his daughter to death!

So, my question is...this guy's awesome and amazing, and a hard worker. Sometimes, I feel like he works a little TOO hard, but that's just who he is (U.S. Marine Corps and Sheriff's Department). I've been going through a very, very rough time in my life; hardest time I've ever been through (details not important), and last week, I asked him if he could miss work just one night and stay with me (he works overnights until next week). I told him that I've been lonely with all of his work, busy schedule, etc. and just needed his love and support for one night. His bosses love him, and he was just recently promoted, and he never misses work, anyway. So I figured one night missing work to be with me during a very crushing time in my life wouldn't hurt.

But he said no, that work is his responsibility, and he can't miss it for me.

This hurt my feelings, and honestly, maybe I was being selfish for even asking him. So, what goes through a guy's head when he's immersed in work, and work almost seems to come first in his life? In my heart, I believe that he's just striving to better our lives for the future, but the butt-hurt part of me gets all emotional and sensitive when he won't miss just one tiny day to be with me when I need him most. Opinions?

[vashti]

I actually think the details ARE important. If you asked him to skip work because of something catastrophic (such as hospitalization/death/natural disaster, etc), I would understand you being upset. If it's something more routine, then he belongs at work.

Be happy he has a strong work ethic. Lots of men don't.

[Archie]

I don't know if you've ever been employed in your life, cause if you would have been, you'd understand that unless it's something critical, something that one could justify as a serious problem that they need to deal with, you NEVER skip work. So, what if he stays home for the night and get fired the next day? Oh well, at least he stayed with you, right?
That isn't selfishness, that's stupidity of a spoiled woman.

[montanamommy]

It was indeed something critical which I don't care to broadcast here.

[basilandthyme]

So, what goes through a guy's head when he's immersed in work, and work almost seems to come first in his life? In my heart,

With the exception of emergencies such as death of an immediate relative and extreme illness, I think any person (male or female) with a strong work ethic would have said "no" to your request. Like it or not, a person who understands commitment to their work isn't going to have a day off just because you need to spend time with them.

Commitment to his regular hours does not mean less commitment to you.

[michelle23]

He worked his ass off to get this promotion. He cant get lazy now. He has to work even harder to keep his position and get promoted again in the future. To stay on top, you never slack or take days off for no good reason. My boss is a millionaire but hes still in the office every day, he knows everything that is going on within the company, he still works hard every day and knows how easily it could all fall apart if he gets lazy.. thats how people go bust. My aunt allowed her business to fall apart once the money started rolling in and now she has nothing.

Ambition comes with sacrifice. If you want an average joe-there are plenty around. Not that there is anything wrong with that but this is who he is so you either accept it or break up

[Wakeup]

Momma: You should really get yourself to your doctor and/or therapist and get the help you need for your PTSD and the stress of your ongoing custody battle. Your BF already has one foot out the door due to your condition and the drama of your unfinished shared custody dispute.

Asking him to stay home with you for any reason to do with either of the two things that are currently going on with you wouldn't go over very well with him or anyone else that has voiced wanting to exit the relationship due to those very things.

Where are your girlfriends, your family? Do you have a support system in place that entails more people then your bf that can give said support when you're feeling anxious?