Very interesting story, and I need help (Kinda' long)

[Reaper33]

So, I'm new here. I really, REALLY need some advice, because everyone I've turned to so far has given me everything they can. Let me explain the situation first...

This woman... I'll just call her Jane. She lives in Florida, I live in Maryland, and we met over the internet, talked on Skype for a few months, played online games, etc.. She came out and said she loved me on April 12, 2008. I was elated. I'll admit, I've never been in a relationship before. Never seen the point, really. But I was SO happy she chose me. She's gorgeous, has the same wacky sense of humor I have, is highly intelligent, has a style of her own... Just, everything about her is unique. She would come home from work, hop on the computer and squeal with joy if I was there (god, she's cute too...). Now, note that she has been in other relationships before. I'm only 16... so is she. But she's had 9 other relationships, 4 of which lasted maybe a week, because she "felt sorry for them". She had one relationship last for 6 years with a woman named Amiee. 6 YEARS. That means she met this person when she was 8! They were happy as can be (note that the person that she spent all these years with was a man that had a sex change into a woman), until Amiee started changing. She told Jane to cut off all ties with her friends, family, and herself (I'll explain that part later), and Jane was fine with it. 6 years that she was controlled, until Amiee moved to California and Jane broke it off. She was distraught, but she found out that Amiee was doing better since then, and felt that she did good.

Fast forward, she's 14 and has a short relationship with a 20-something prison security guard. Yes, they kiss, but no sex. She's still a virgin, and I respect her for that. Then, after him, a long distance relationship with another 20-something in Denmark. Lasted two years. Note that they HATED each other at first. Then, she meets me, on a forum. She looks around the forum for guys, and says to herself (she's admitted it), "Hmm... How fast can I get these guys to fall in love with me?". Well, she goes for my best friend, and she deems him "obnoxious". Then, another one of my friends, and says he's too soft. Then looks at me, and says, "Oooh, dark... I like." I later learn that for the first 3 months of our relationship, she was just using me. Yep, to get back at Denmark boy for sleeping with his ex. I knew it too. She wouldn't say "I love you". I would, and she would say "Too", or "Yeah". Afterwards, however... I noticed feelings developing from her. We would cyber occasionally (I gave her her first orgasm that way... What can I say, I have a way with words ), and we would sleep over the phone with each other. It was, in a way, the cutest relationship I've seen.

4 months in, she explains some important things. Her father was abusive, mother was neglectful and abusive, and she was "Daddy's little war-machine"; she was taught hand-to-hand combat, taught how to shoot a gun, taught how to beg for money on the streets... It was a harsh childhood. But she did it. When she was 5, she could hold full conversations with adults, she was read Edgar Allen Poe as bedtime stories... Nothing about her was/is normal. And, ladies and gentlemen, she's insane. I mean it. She's been diagnosed with Psychosis and General Disassosiative Disorder (AKA, Multiple personalities). She has different parts of her that live in her head, and are all her, just variations. She suffers from hallucinations, both auditory and optical, and sometimes sensory (hearing, seeing, feeling). And I still love her. She’s been caught up (literally, her ENTIRE life) in the supernatural (demons, spirits, angels) and has talked and talked about it. Her friends have supernatural abilities, she does too, etc.. I got fed up with it, so I said I did do, and that I could feel her. I was faking, but she felt me. Ohh, yes, she felt me. After 2 months of that damn lie, I told her. I told her that I didn’t have any abilities, and that I couldn’t lie to her anymore, because it was wrong, and that I was deeply sorry for it. She was angry. I don’t know if she was angry because I lied, because her friends lied, because it was a hallucination, or that it made her feel like an idiot. All I know is that now, things are different. She doesn’t call me when she gets home, she doesn’t tell me her problems, she has actually said to me, “Have you ever thought about dating other people?” and I answered (honestly), “No”. Well, she has. She named him. I know him, I’ve met him before. He’s one of those guys you want to hate, but you can find a real reason to, you know? She said, “Oh, well, I’d never leave you for him… I just wonder sometimes.” Oh, and she doesn’t say ‘I love you’ anymore. I think that hurts the most. She says, “You already know I love you, why do I have to keep saying it?”.

She also now says that she’s scared of me. What? I’ve NEVER raised my voice to her, but I have gotten testy with her. How can I not, when she thinks hanging all over other guys is okay, and nibbling on their shoulder is normal, or when hugging and hanging all over random people on the street is okay? It’s not! Yet she gets all weepy when I tell her it’s not okay! I can’t tell her anything without being afraid that she will be… well… afraid! I feel as if she doesn’t trust me anymore, and it hurts me day after day to know that when she comes home, she won’t say ‘I love you’…

What do I do? Please… What do I do? I know I'm young, and must of you might pull the 'There are other fish' thing, or 'You're too young to understand', but this is hurting so much, and I truly believe that it could work, but does she...?

[vashti]

I believe your pain is real, but this girl is no good for you (and probably not good for anyone). You should avoid girls all together for a long time, because you need to develop some more so that you can avoid making such a poor choice in girls again.

You will get over your pain the quickest if you cut her off completely. Do NOT try to remain friends; it never works.

[Reaper33]

I didn't think I could remain friends with her anyway; it would just be... awkward. And if she found another guy, I would probably lose it. I'd rather not know. But what upsets me the most is WTF is with her?! It doesn't make sense. I'm fine with breaking it off, sure, but I'd like some reasons, dammit!

Of course, with a woman like her, reasons are a dime a dozen...

Any other opinions?

[Vain]

I think you should end it. Judging solely from what you told me, it seems like the relationship is not going to go anywhere beneficial for you. It looks like it will just hurt you more and more.

[Reaper33]

Very true, Vain... It just seems I'm going deeper and deeper into the quicksand, and she's sitting on my head, wondering why I'm sinking... *Rolls eyes*

I've talked with a friend of hers who is very concerned for us, and wants to help. We'll be holding an intervention of sorts when 'Jane' gets back from vacation on Monday. We either:

A.) Walk out knowing what's wrong and how to fix it, willing and able, happy-go-lucky, or

B.) Agree on the break-up, shake hands, and say 'Nice knowing you'.

I don't care which, as long as this crap is resolved. She's a sweet girl, and it's so hard thinking that she's turned into a conniving harlequin. Then again, as my mother told me, "She's a woman. It's in our genes."

[IndiReloaded]

You aren't going to be able to rescue this one, Reap. Some problems are best left to the professionals.

Find someone a lot less damaged to unleash your White Knight on. This gal will never be able to truly appreciate the kinds of sacrifices and shit you will put up from her with if you stay.

And, just in case it didn't come through, I don't think White Knight Syndrome is healthy. Grow out of the need to rescue a gal. Relationships are about where BOTH ppl grow and get something out of it. This one is a black, sucking hole.

[Reaper33]

Find someone a lot less damaged to unleash your White Knight on. This gal will never be able to truly appreciate the kinds of sacrifices and shit you will put up from her with if you stay.

And, just in case it didn't come through, I don't think White Knight Syndrome is healthy. Grow out of the need to rescue a gal. Relationships are about where BOTH ppl grow and get something out of it. This one is a black, sucking hole.

Yeah, I know... Whereas I don't agree that I seek out people to help, if somebody does need it, I feel compelled to. Probably because people rarely help me, so I feel a subconscious need to fill that in, etc...

But yeah, this chick was wonderful, and I loved being with her... But it's gone too far. I'm a nice guy, I can deal with a lot of shit, but she's just pushing me waaay too far. Like I said in my previous post, we'll settle things very, very soon. I'm aiming for a clean break.