how to deal with lost youth (no sex and party)? :(

[schindler]

Hi. I'm 27 years old and i never had sex. Its not because of my bad look, but because of my low selfconfidence since high scool. Years were flying by and here we are - 27. You will probably say go out and find somebody, but the problem is also those thaughts that are taking all my will to live away. I cant deal with the facts that i lost 12 years of my live and havent experienced nothing. Not going out into the club with friends in young years and party, no kissing, no sex, no one night stands, relationship, travelling. All things that for most people are normal. Because of that i dont feel competitive to girls that i like and i feel they all are much better then me, on higher level and i'm not good enough for them and all of the people, because i havent alived so much then others, was almost all the time at home and work.

Its terrible if i go into the shopping center and see in 2 hours hundreds of women with which i would like to have sex and i know i didnt have such interesting past as them. Those thoughts are eating me up every single day, all day. I was also at therapist, but didnt help. Also i take antidepressants. But nothing cant take away the facts, that i'm not on same level as those girls who are having sex since highschool, were on so many parties and so on. For them its normal to have a penis in their hands or mouth, for me this is science fiction and somebody who is 12 years behind in my opinion can never again be same worth as person who alived all those things in normal years (18-24). Sex is the highest thing in live and if you dont have it you havent lived. Therefor i dont know what to do, because there is no way out to feel the same worth as those people anymore, that have normal sex live since their high school. To be honest, the best would be this life would be over and i could sleep forever, to not have this fact thoughts every day...

[michelle23]

I am nearly 25 and have had sex with 2 people. I never wanted one night stands or casual sex. Its not the be all and end all and you really need to get over it. The only person holding you back is you. Ask a girl out, go on a date and have a relationship. You can look up on google how to give a girl an orgasm. Its not worth killing yourself over. Just dont let your low confidence hold you back any more.

And one night stands are not "common" for everyone. Lots of people choose not to do that. Sex with a stranger who knows nothing about you, your body or what you want=bad sex. And the fact they dont care about you makes it awkward and uncomfortable-again bad sex

[Valixy]

I cant deal with the facts that i lost 12 years of my live and havent experienced nothing. Not going out into the club with friends in young years and party, no kissing, no sex, no one night stands, relationship, travelling. All things that for most people are normal.

Not everyone has had an adeventurous youth and not everyone would be happy living one. People come in different shapes and enjoy different things in life. My opinion is that you might be blaming your lack of confidence for your lack of experiences when actually your real self didn't need too much of those. I also think that you idealize relationships and even travelling. It's not all continuous fun and both experiences can be quite stressful at times actually.

The best time of your life is yet to come. Honestly, life, relationships and everything else tends to fall into place after 30. If you feel that you'd like to experience more in life, now that you find this new energy inside yourself, try to introduce little changes in your life. Take up a new hobby, go to the gym, play a sport, join a social group that could interest you, learn something new, and the rest will come little by little. You might even realize that you've never needed much in order to be happy and just little things that suit your personality mean a lot to you. Find your passion in life, whatever that may be and dedicate yourself to it, and you'll suddenly feel that you live every day at its fullest.:-)