a little female advice PLEASE

[ptaylor]

a quick outline of my problem. I was with my wife for 6 years married for 3. We split in october last year. At the start of our relationship she adored me, loved me sooo much. I was a idiot and had an affair before we got married. After we married she found out and we split, we patched things up and moved forward, there were hard time with trust issues and i accepted that because of what I did but it also made me realise I wanted to be with my family, 2 stpe children and 1 together. I have always had a rocky ride with the step kids but always expected this because I had a stepdad myself so now what it is like. Anyway we moved to a new house and things were getting better with kids and us, we were getting closer, more affection etc. Then on Halloween we had a fall out over 1 of the step children and didn't speak for weeks then she told me it was over and she didn't love me any more. I was, and still am heart broken. I have doen the worst thing possible since then and emailed her, phoned her, text her to say how myuch I love her and want to sort things out. We spoke last night and she said she needs space to miss me, If she does, She still says she doesn't love me but I still see a twinkle in her eyes when we see eachother when I pick our son up. I realy would like to know how I can, If I can, win her love back?????? There is a lot more to the story I admit I have been abusive, not physicall, to her and the children. I realise this now and have made my first counselling session for next week. I told her this but also told her it was to sort me out not just to try and win her back. Please help as I truly love my wife and all the kids and just want to be a happy family.

[hello1]

Okay lets get this right. You cheated on her, she got back with you then you were verbally abusive to her. What did you expect she would do? stay with a man like you. She already got treated like a fool when you cheated then you treat her like shit. I know what it feels like.

If she had any common sense she would stay away from you and move on with her life without you.

[ptaylor]

I wouldn't blame her either. I didn't know how abusive I was being untill recently and am getting help. It wasw more being grumpy and to serious for her, her own words. It was not major shouting and name calling etc but still abuse none the less. For the last 18 months we as a couple had been great the issue mainly lies with the step children, they never accepted me and was off with me all the time and I gave up and treated them the same. No excuse I know. i am the adult and they are children. I have seen the error of my ways and am trying to fix myself. even if my wife does not return, at least I WILL be a better person in time and with help

[smackie9]

Sorry but you had 6 years to correct your bad behaviour. It may takes years for you to work through and correct your issues. Enough is enough and I can see where she stands, she needs to move on. Your best bet is to do the same.

[MynameisJesus]

3 years ago I would feel for you and try to help you out. Now I see things differently.
You said you had an affair before your marriage. If it was a one night stand under the influence of alcohol, I would understand.
But I assume you have done it multiple times and were perfectly aware of what you were doing. That makes you a cheater and a liar and I don't feel any compassion for you.
Then she gave you another chance which is what I would never ever do, and you messed up again.
Being verbally offensive to children makes you a jack***. Take a real deep look in the mirror and ask yourself why you would deserve another chance. It makes no sense

I'm sorry man. I don't like you. Move on with your life. Keep working at yourself

[ptaylor]

thaks for the words. I say it was an affair but it was a drunken 1 night stand. I am getting help and I don't blame my wife for not taking me back. I have realised all to late I know