Ok men, I need your input-what should I do?

[rose36]

There is another man in my life that I am quiet involved with for over a year. the problem is he has a gf. she now knows that he is seeing me and that he loves me. she is deeply hurt and furious but she loves him too much to break up with him or risk loosing him by insisting that he give me up which he would't do.

We have been deeping our connection and our relationship over time and our love has grown but, but he still loves her even though she doesn't make him happy.

Right now she has become emotionally unstable over his cheating and continuing to see me and love me. He feels like he owes it to her to be there to stabilize her and help her feel more secure and confident in herself. This means he has to cut back on the amount of time he can spend with me for the time being.

He still intends to see me but not as much. He calls me everyday but I am furious and feel like telling him to finish his business with her and then call me but meanwhile I am not interested in crumbs. After the tremendous sexual and emotional intimacy we share the fact that he is still worried about her makes me livid!

what shoud I do?

[Junket]

There is another man in my life that I am quiet involved with for over a year. the problem is he has a gf. she now knows that he is seeing me and that he loves me. she is deeply hurt and furious but she loves him too much to break up with him or risk loosing him by insisting that he give me up which he would't do.

We have been deeping our connection and our relationship over time and our love has grown but, but he still loves her even though she doesn't make him happy.

Right now she has become emotionally unstable over his cheating and continuing to see me and love me. He feels like he owes it to her to be there to stabilize her and help her feel more secure and confident in herself. This means he has to cut back on the amount of time he can spend with me for the time being.

He still intends to see me but not as much. He calls me everyday but I am furious and feel like telling him to finish his business with her and then call me but meanwhile I am not interested in crumbs. After the tremendous sexual and emotional intimacy we share the fact that he is still worried about her makes me livid!

what shoud I do?

Develop some self respect?

[rose36]

good point...

[Junket]

Don't know what else to say.

I figure quite a few people will criticize you and him for this little love triangle that's developed.

Unless you've left out any important details, it's hard for someone to place any blame on the "other" girl.

[Heratriumphant]

Walk away.

Do you imagine that he never had an amazing connection with his GF? That in the begining it wasn't just as amazing as what you and he have?

Are you ok with being in his current GF's position a couple of years down the road?

Do you really want to be with someone who hurts the people they love the way he's hurting both you and his girlfriend?

Stop and consider for a moment that all of his actions seem selfish and self serving. I know he's given you reasons and excuses, but ignore for the moment everything he's said and think about what he's doing. What do his actions on there own tell you about him?

[chump4u]

He's cheating on her with you, and cheating on you with her.

She's hurting.

You're hurting.

The only one who isn't hurting is the guy who's doing all the cheating and causing all the pain.

Somehow, doesn't seem right, does it?

[rose36]

I've decided to stop seeing him until decides what he wants. actually, he's no longer cheating because he told the gf the truth. he is hurting a lot believe it or not.

[flea]

what do you mean? I thought she already knew and begrudgingly accepted the idea?

I'm sorry to tell you this darl, but he's a user, and I doubt he'll change his cheating ways for you.

[Gigabitch]

He's still cheating because it's not okay with his girlfriend. They don't have an "open" relationship.

Remember, if he's even a little bit hers, he's not really yours. Crumbs.

[qwertz]

Yep, get some self respect and cut all contact with the loser

[trisha]

he's stupid...once a cheater, always a cheater...

he may end everything with girl #1..so he'll be yours completely girl #2 ---but eventually, I'm 100% sure that he could find girl # 3 and will leave you, and you will be shattered , devastated and broken...

[rose36]

OK, so I finally ended it for good. It began to feel awful all the way around and I couldn't take it for another day! That was a mere three days ago. I did the right thing at long last. Why do I feel so sick and so damn sad? At first I felt relief to be out of the mess. But I feel the pain of loss even though I was doing the wrong thing to be involved with him given the the other woman.

[Heratriumphant]

Sometimes doing the right thing hurts the most, but give yourself time to grieve for the dream... Even if the reality wasn't that great.

[Sanctuary]

If he really thought you were that special, he would've left his ex already.

I'm gonna get flamed for this, but as a guy if you're in a relationship with a girl and a seemingly better girl comes along, I see no reason not to leave your current gf for the new girl. Cuz if your current gf was everything you ever wanted, you wouldn't even think about leaving her. Granted you could be making an incorrect judgement about this new girl, but you can always cheat on her later if she's not perfect either (lol!).

People hook up for all kinds of odd reasons. Maybe they settle cuz they don't think they can do any better or that there aren't any better guys/girls out there. Maybe they were immature/inexperienced at the time. Whatever the reason, not every relationship is perfect, and cheating can lead to better relationships is what I'm saying.

Also, if you're gonna cheat, at least be a gentleman (or gentlewoman) and break up with your current gf first.

[flea]

Also, if you're gonna cheat, at least be a gentleman (or gentlewoman) and break up with your current gf first.

well that's not really cheating if you do that now, is it?



well done rose, you did the right thing.