Relationship with ex-boss

[hedgehogfog]

I would like to appologize for the length of this thread, but i really need help and desperate
I have been working in a company for the last 3.5 years. I am married with 2 kids and currently on maternity.
There was this guy, my boss, i didn't have a crush on him from the beginning. He invited me once to go with him on a business trip and i think from there where it all started. We didn't have sex, i have to mention(back then i wasnt ready for this). We worked together perfectly well, he promoted me, raised a salary and many times told me very private stuff related to job. I know he trusted me a lot, he was really thankfull for the job i was doing. He is married with kids.
The thing is that he was flriting with me all the time. I can't really explain it, but the way he looked at me was causing me to tremble. I wanted to finish this, so i was playing cold, but every time i did it, he started to be nervous and running around or sending stupid emails. So i melted, so he flirted again, and again it went nowhere. So i played cold again, and again he got nervous.. And so on and on. Everytime i was talking about my husband, i could see he didn't really like it.
Last year i got pregnant and told him that i am taking a year maternity. of course, while i was pregnant i wasn't interedted in anything...
Now he quit the job a month ago so i went to his leave party. I look good taking into account the little time passed since the birth of my kid. And again! This eyes! His is really a master of a sight! He drilled me with his eyes. He flirted with me with no words! I said to myself: ok, he is not my boss anymore, let me try. First, i tried to add him in the facebook, and guess what? He didnt' accept and didn't reject! I was hanging there for weeks, until i cancelled a request. I said to myself that i have to finish this asap, but there was another party where everything repeated.
I am so tired and want to get out of this, i don't know how. I have a wonderful husband, we have great sex, but it doesn't help. Every time i see my ex boss i get crazy! he is really having a physic influence on me and i can't get out of it.
Can someone explain why he behaves like this? Does he like to see me suffering? He knows i am suffering, he knows what causes me to suffer and talks about it.
Please help!

[reeba]

'I am so tired and want to get out of this, i don't know how. I have a wonderful husband, we have great sex, but it doesn't help. Every time i see my ex boss i get crazy! he is really having a physic influence on me and i can't get out of it.
Can someone explain why he behaves like this? Does he like to see me suffering? He knows i am suffering, he knows what causes me to suffer and talks about it.'

Get out of what????? Maybe there was a little of something between you besides innocent flirtation. But the majority of this is a figment of your imagination. There is no relationship, no affair, and even after he left his job he has shown no interest.

He doens't work with you anymore, so the temptation is gone. Go have a date night with your husband. And stop fantasizing. And stop pursuing him on FB. You blame your ex boss for flirting, but you pursue? Borderline psycho.

[smackie9]

'I am so tired and want to get out of this, i don't know how. I have a wonderful husband, we have great sex, but it doesn't help. Every time i see my ex boss i get crazy! he is really having a physic influence on me and i can't get out of it.
Can someone explain why he behaves like this? Does he like to see me suffering? He knows i am suffering, he knows what causes me to suffer and talks about it.'

Get out of what????? Maybe there was a little of something between you besides innocent flirtation. But the majority of this is a figment of your imagination. There is no relationship, no affair, and even after he left his job he has shown no interest.

He doens't work with you anymore, so the temptation is gone. Go have a date night with your husband. And stop fantasizing. And stop pursuing him on FB. You blame your ex boss for flirting, but you pursue? Borderline psycho.

Yup that about sums it up.

[Bella82]

I am also going to be honest here.

WHY do you care the reason for your ex boss' behaviour? WHO CARES what he thinks, or how the way he makes you 'suffer'? As you said, you have a wonderful husband and you have great sex. But what you also have is a completely dishonest relationship with him. What you should be doing is not wondering about your ex boss, who is married --- also like you are -- but you should be concentrating on your own marriage, which is crap if it's not built on honesty. Unless the two of you have an open relationship, what on earth are you doing?! STOP seeking your ex boss out. Be honest with your husband, he doesn't deserve this. Either that or get a divorce.

[Gratedwasabi]

You're married and have kids. Grow the **** up.

[hedgehogfog]

I know what i am doing is wrong. I know i am not honest with my husband. He knows about this guy, and he still listens to me. I know i am causing him to suffer. No, we don't have open relationship...
but what can i do if i am so attrcted to this person, he had a really bad influence on me i am more screaming for help, i don't know how to stop this crazyness..

In the last party, ex-boss proposed me a lift home, luckily i got my own car so i didn't have temtation. He also was "crying on my sholder" about things that happen to him. Afterwars, by talking to other people i relaized that he lied to me about half of the things he said...

I don't know if he wants an affair or not, he is confusing me. everytime i try to play cold, he comes and melts me by the way he talks so i fell in trap again. Everytime i try to ignore him, he is nervious... If he doesn;t want that, then what he wants for god's sake? To drive me nuts????? And yes, he left the company, but it's not easy to propose to a woman that just gave birth to have sex... Moreover, he is very not brave man, he was always trying to escape problems without solving them at job, by lying sometime as well...

[Gratedwasabi]

I know what i am doing is wrong. I know i am not honest with my husband. He knows about this guy, and he still listens to me. I know i am causing him to suffer. No, we don't have open relationship...
but what can i do if i am so attrcted to this person, he had a really bad influence on me i am more screaming for help, i don't know how to stop this crazyness..

In the last party, ex-boss proposed me a lift home, luckily i got my own car so i didn't have temtation. He also was "crying on my sholder" about things that happen to him. Afterwars, by talking to other people i relaized that he lied to me about half of the things he said...

I don't know if he wants an affair or not, he is confusing me. everytime i try to play cold, he comes and melts me by the way he talks so i fell in trap again. Everytime i try to ignore him, he is nervious... If he doesn;t want that, then what he wants for god's sake? To drive me nuts????? And yes, he left the company, but it's not easy to propose to a woman that just gave birth to have sex... Moreover, he is very not brave man, he was always trying to escape problems without solving them at job, by lying sometime as well...

So you're randomly attracted to a douchebag BUT OH MY GOD, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!! He's the one seducing you.. even though you're the one really initiating all this, from what it sounds like.

I really hope your husband finds out about your wanton desire to cheat and divorces you. He deserves better.