Ex confusing me

[NoThinGface]

Hello All,

Ive posted here before on how to get my ex girlfriend back. Now I’m getting mixed signals from her.
She broke up with me around 5 months ago now, and jumped into another relationship 1 month after we broke up. And I did all the pressuring, nagging to get back with me which made it worse for my self and pushed her away further. So I stopped contacting her cause I knew I was getting no where. Around 3 months of no contacting her she rang up out of the blue yesterday for a chat and to see what ive been up to. I asked her how is she going with her new boyfriend and she said we called it quiets, Reason she said she realised she jumped into another relationship to quick and things were moving to soon, to fast. At that point when she told me my heart-started racing I was so happy knowing shes single again, But I kept it cool and didn’t act like I was happy to hear that. She told me she had no feelings left for me at all 2 months ago, but she was to wrapped up in her new boyfriend why would she have feelings for me. I’m not sure how to take this now shes contacting me all of a sudden. I was just starting to get better and heal, now I feel I’m back at square 1. I love this girl to bits and would love her back. So what should I do? I’m planing on asking her out for a coffee but don’t know how to act or what to say when I see her any advice on that would be appreciated. I also found out from a friend of hers that she’s also on those dating sites. So I don’t understand she said she broke up with her new boyfriend because things were moving to quick, now shes on dating sites? I want her back badly and don’t want to stuff this up. She also told me that after us breaking up she’s realised that theirs plenty more out there. So I’m guessing I have to work hard on this 1. And help and advice would be great thanx.

[thenew]

my advice to you buddy is RUN. she is an ex for a reason and if she is calling you its not for YOU its to make herself feel better. she's the same as when she left you. see her for what she is, not for what she was or what she MEANT to you.

[oookkkooo]

I like that "see her for what she is, not what she meant to you", makes sense. This girl sounds like she is making herself feel better. She obviously was comfertable with you and is looking for a fix of comfort again. Proceed with caution. She doesn't sound too keen on getting back with you as she only called you. If you do speak to her play it cool. Don't make her think she screwed u up again.That'll make her know she's in the driving seat. If u seem like u move on she'll go nuts.

[little_red_sox]

What a bitch!! Shes toying with you, sweetheart.. If she cared for you at all she would think of your feelings and not her own, and quit complicating your life and hurting your feelings for her own comfort. I know it sounds harsh, but this girl is never going to come back to you, and eventually you will she her for what she is.
Be blunt with her, knock her back, then she may have an idea of what she is doing to you.

[Rach]

Don't let her play with you like that! She now see's what she left behind, and wants you back, or at least to know you'd consider taking her back! Don't give her the satisfaction!

[Cybog]

I never understand people that try to get back together with their ex's. Ask anyone who has been married for 20+ years if they did that with their wife/husband. Ask anyone who has been in a solid relationship with someone for more than 2+ years, that is going strong, and it was based on them breaking up and then getting back together repeatedly.

Then, call me back in 50 years when you actually find that person.

[Ohkrana]

It's this simple - she wants you to know she's available and single again and that she is looking for something new and doesn't want you back.

She wants to 'screw with your mind' basically. I'd say just have nothing to do with her.

If your that hung up though and want her back - just ask her point blank save all the fussing about and effort with attempts to win her back. Although if you do that be ready for an answer not to your liking.

[poopsun84]

she's not worth it at all. she's a bit like my ex boyfriend whom i love to bits too. it's like whenever these type of people are single, they just need attention again. they enjoy people courting them or something. stay strong and don't chase or woo her again! you will be able to find a better girl.the act of she jumping into another r/s so soon just proves she's fickle-minded and a flirt, who doesn't value true love.

i am currently trying to break all ties with my ex too, cause he keeps using me whenever he has trouble with his new gf or when he feels lonely. and by being readily available whenever they need us, they will just continue taking us for granted! they are not worth it. seriously. and by giving them all our attention, we are just helping them to boost their ego.

[shheadz]

I don't even see any mixed signals here. Just because she's being friendly with you months after the breakup, that doesn't mean she wants to get back together. You think you're back at squire one now.. well wait till you ask her out, and she rejects you. Then you'll really know what square one is.

[cmacattack1]

I think I would need some more information on the past relationship before I could make a judgement call here. Why did she dump you? What happened there? It could make all the difference.

Exes are exes for a reason and that reason, and that's true. I can honestly tell you that a really special relationship with somebody that means the world to you can help you change and grow into that mature and adult person we aspire to be. My ex girlfriend dumping me was probably the best thing to happen to me, I've never learned more or grown up so much in such a short period of time. I fell into the trap of being too comfortable, being lazy, and taking her for granted. But it seriously helped me change and become a better person.

What I'm saying is that it's definately possible to have something better and stronger with your ex than what you had before. The whole cycle of breaking up and getting back together never works because it always happens within a month or less of the break up, nobody learns anything because they just need that (As lahnnabell says) "band-aid" to take away the lonliness and the pain. Then they fall back into the old routine until the next break up. But I really believe with some serious time apart to reflect, get your priorities back in line and change your negative behaviors, it could definately work in the future. You have to want to though and you have to make a serious effort. On both ends. It doesn't happen often because both sides need to line up and work towards it. It's sad, but it's reality.

As for the OP's girl, yeah, it hasn't been long enough and you never really learn much when you are bouncing around from relationship to relationship. I'd find out what she's after and I'd give her a little bit of your mind when she's giving you the same ol' shit she was before. She has plenty of reasons for her actions, sure, but none are excuses.

[Chazza2k]

There are some people that cannot take being loney and having no attension on them for any amount of time... Shes probably calling you up because she knows how you feel about her and she needs her fix of someone focusing some love and attension on her. Try to keep in mind when you broke up she found someone in a month and wanted NOTHING to do with you.

I can see that shes stired all manner of how you used to feel and I'm sure your probably thinking that if you meet up and you play it calm it will all return to how you used to be?

Bottom line here is IF and its a big IF you do meet up and anything was to happen, you will be the rebound (comfort) guy being used to make HER feel better, she already on dating sites and keeping an eye open for someone new thats a pretty good indicator that she's keeping her options open. Smart thing is to stay away from her, wish her well and have nothing to do with her.

If you feel you really want her again and nothing anyone will say will change that and if you meet she tells you something simular, then take it really slow and be careful, rebuild trust slowly and don't just be a doormat if and when she needs you. If she serious she'll be patient with you. If not she'll dump you just like she did before.

[kai]

Three words. Run boy run!

[ricerocket1]

like cma said we need a background story here...

[Lite]

Dude, she left you and you're reminiscing about how great things were when you had her. You miss the emotions, but not the relationship. Go build a new relationship and tell the ex to **** off, you're not a 2nd choice or fallback person.

Value yourself more than this.