Girl too close with guy friends

[nelsonjon72]

Ever since I've dated my girlfriend (seniors in high school), she's been very touchy feely with her closest guy friend. When she sees him, she runs over and gives him a huge hug, kiss on the cheek, and sometimes will sit on his lap. If they have a class in the same building (private school=many buildings), she'll walk with him and hold his hand. For the longest time this has bothered me, yet I didn't say anything because I didn't want to sound jealous/clingy. I wouldn't mind if it were a hug, but kissing and holding hands all the time is something reserved for a relationship, not a friendship.

When we started dating, she told me how he has always been in love with her, although she doesnt feel the same way for him, and he said he could put that aside so we could date.

We got in a small fight (extremely small) about something dumb and later that I'm sure she told him what had happened. The next day she tells me that this boy asked her to prom and she said no. ***This kid knows full well that we would be going together, WE'RE DATING!*** At this point I realized that he still has huge feelings for her because he saw an opportunity where she wasn't thinking of me and decided to take the chance and maybe she'd say yes.

I respect her for telling me, because some girls would just not say anything. I am planning on talking to her about this whole situation about how I feel uncomfortable with the way they interact with eachother because I know his past feelings. I don't want them to stop being friends, I just want her to tone down everything and stop kissing and holding hands, it gives the kid the wrong idea and it bothers me.

How can I explain to her my feelings about this situation?

[GuyWhoDoesStuff]

So this girl knows some other dude wants her, and is with you, but has no reservations about completely leading the other guy on, and often in front of you?

I'd say she's a bitch who doesn't respect either of you.

[alovehangoverr]

Wow. I find it difficult to believe that this girl would be naive enough to not realize what she's doing.. therefore, it's time to call her out on it.

Seriously, address this issue before you get too deep into the relationship.

When you talk to her stay calm about it and outline why you're upset-- don't accuse her of anything, but ask her to instead see how her actions might be coming off in a negative way.

From the sound of things.. she probably likes the attention. She knows this guy is "in love" with her-- and regardless of if he could actually put his feelings aside [doubtful unless he took some serious time away from her to get over it] hugs, kisses, hand holding, sitting in his lape, etc.. is encouraging him to continue to feel that way.

Friends don't do that.

It's as simple as that.

All of my friends are guys.. I give the occasional hug out, but I'd never kiss/sit in their laps/hold hands/etc with them.. not only because it's inappropriate but I think of them as FRIENDS ONLY and it would sort of gross me out haha.

[lahnnabell]

Agreed with the above responses! This girl seems to have a very clear understanding of what she's doing. She's doesn't really differentiate on how she interacts with her "best friend" versus her "boyfriend". She plays you guys off of one another for the attention. When one's not around, she's got the other to fall back on.

You gotta set some standards. I dated a guy like this in high school. He was clearly IN LOVE with his "best friend" and she HATED me. For a little while he was very good about being firm and telling her that he wanted me in his life. She was rather psychotic and took to threatening him and always temporarily ending their friendship. Eventually he dropped me and I was left heartbroken for a while. But I was so much better off because that was the point when I began to set standards for what I will and will not tolerate in a relationship.